Jennifer Aniston gets ratted out

February 27th, 2006 // 75 Comments

*jennifer_aniston_thumb2.jpgWay back in the late 1980s, Jennifer Aniston shared a West Village apartment with fellow actress Nancy Balbirer. Balbirer ratted her out the other night at Joe’s Pub, at an event to mark the paperback release of The Underminer: Or, the Best Friend Who Casually Destroys Your Life. Balbirer’s “underminer” was “a famous sitcom actress” called “Jane” – a thinly veiled Aniston – who she met when both were auditioning to be extras on Saturday Night Live.

According to reports: “Nancy let Jane live rent-free in her Village apartment for a few months. Nancy said Jane, who was then working at a burger joint, was obsessed with her looks, and would give herself bikini waxes while lying upside-down on the couch. Jane advised Nancy to try and be ‘more fuckable’ on auditions, and to buy chicken cutlets at the Food Emporium to stuff her bra. Jane iced her nipples before auditions, and lamented her big butt and her nose, which she said ‘came from her Greek half.’ Jane moved to Los Angeles, got liposuction, a nose job and a hairline adjustment, and lost a lot of weight after going on Nutri

superficial

  1. Evangelia

    this story is so fake. jen is queen of the world. bwahaha.

  2. youdontknow

    #38, Okay! But, you must mean hypocrite as opposed to martyr. Are you taking a posted opinion too seriously or personally?

  3. ~S.Starr~

    #49…Oh Please…give me a break. When Jenn and Brad were still together everyone thought they were “Hollywoods most beautiful couple” and then when they broke up all of a sudden all these same people were saying “OMG Jenn is so Ugly…hah…chinnifer…hahah” LAME…Grow up.

    Moving on…when did this post forum turn into plastic surgery and Jenn is Ugly. I wish people would stick to posting about THE ACTUAL POST!!! Yaya…we have heard the jenn is ugly crap in 18 other posts…get over it…its getting old…Come up with some new funny insults…I need something more entertaining to read…

  4. hafaball

    When I read that all I could think of was Aniston and Barbarbabar giving eachother bikini waxes, then having sex all night…anyone else think that?

  5. gogoboots

    yes totally, after the bikini wax she iced her nipples and stuffed chicken cutlets down her bra, then they had sex all nite. how could this possibly be made up, it’s too fantastically funny NOT to be true!

  6. mrschickee

    You gotta be pretty damn talented to give yourself a bikini wax while hanging upside down. If only Cirque-du-soleil had an act like that. That would be one happenin’ circus.

  7. ProbablyTooOld

    Chicken cutlets? Ummm… What, like those breaded Tyson chicken patties? Raw chicken breasts? In her bra? Why do that when even in the mid 80s those gelatin bra-boosters were on the market and didn’t leave behind grease stains or contact dermatitis from rolling in raw salmonella.

    Did she also use iceberg lettuce for toilet paper? Radishes for tampons? Prime rib to wax the car? This Nancy lady should stop letting bulimic Martians edit her books. Perhaps then someone would tell her when details are insane and unbelievable.

  8. slinkhard

    40 and 50, I’m a little afraid. *hopes you’re both clever parodies of morons, rather than just…morons*

    Wow, this woman Nancy sounds like kind of a loser. A) Use real names, pseudonyms like Jane are lame. and B) Wah, my life has been undermined and destroyed because I had a room-mate who used to bikini waxes. On the houseshare horror stories list, that doesn’t even place. (Besides which, there are tons of ‘old friends’ I wouldn’t let stay with me. The douchey kind of whiners who blab their stories, for example.)

  9. slinkhard

    Just read the article, and the firing bit sounds believable. I’ve heard Aniston’s a bitch in that way – didn’t she have Reese Witherspoon’s cameo cut short, too?

  10. As a sidenote. Would the chicken cutlets start to smell like ….well….chicken cutlets after a while?

  11. happy_bunny

    Yes, Spindoc, they would. They’d also bleed through your clothes.

  12. Robin27

    PEOPLE, you have no idea what her nose looked like before! All the pics that circulate are pics AFTER she had her nose done, I think it was just swollen at the time! They have pics of her in high school and its HUGE. I wish someone could find that pic

  13. Sara=hater

    Scroll up. Look at the picture of her. Doesn’t she look like a fat check just dying to eat her way out of her current body? Maybe it’s her cheeks though, they have always made her face look fucking fat.

  14. happy_bunny

    Yes, Robin27, some of us have seen the crappy horror movie, “Leprechaun” in which Anniston stars, pre-nose-job.
    OMG! An actress who’s had plastic surgery! Who ever HEARD of such a thing!!!

  15. HollyJ

    I’m Scottish, so I put haggis in MY bra.

  16. suggy

    @ #14… you’re right… Angelina hasn’t had surgury.. she looks exactly the same except, um hello… she’s like 15 in one pic and 30 in the next.. haha duh. Plus, she’s smiling in the older on, and that creates higher cheekbones. Awfulplastic surgury is an OK site, but they def don’t know what they are talking about. Not all the celebs on that site has had surgury…

  17. AnnoyingPseud

    Chicken cutlets are those little gel-pack like bra boosters. It’s just a goofy name given to them. Not REAL chicken cutlets. Sheesh.

    And Chinnifer Chinniston cracked me up big time. Buwha. Totally right on.

    Anyway she’s another of the Sarah Jessica Seabiscuit ilk of talent-free skinny broads who put artful streaks into their hair and learn the value of expert makeup applicatin.

  18. ~S.Starr~

    AnnoyingPseud: Chinnifer Chinniston??? My god are you really that lame. Thats sounds like something a kid in elementary school would come up with…

    COME ON PEOPLE…I am all up for making fun of celebrities…But at least be clever with it…hehehe like mrschickee #56…now that is funny.

    Chinnifer Chinniston…what a fuckin’ tool…

  19. tess

    I’m not really surprised by this story. Everyone agrees that Jen is just an average looking woman who got where she is because of her greed, her opportunism and ambition. She struggled all her life with her image problems: big nose, fat body etc. Now she can go back to the shrink because her ex ditched her for a natural beauty who doesn’t need a nutritionist, a fitness coach and a Beauty Team to keep her looking hot.

  20. eyekandi

    For everyone who dissed jennifer and says that she whines alot and needs to get a life and move on…get a life yourselves! shes human ! so what if that shit was true?!? as if you people are some kind of angels with perfect lives.. i bet everyone of you suck! and act like your perfect.. its her life she wants to whine she whines she wants to stop whining thats also up to her! so shut up the ony ppl who brag about the whole aniston jolie crap are you! so for gods sake! get a life!

  21. TheLusciousDeluxe

    Aniston = Ugly

  22. sarakai

    I went to the “good plastic surgery” site and I’mot seeing any huge difference, it just looks like she’s lost some weight- her nose could still sink battle ships. In fact I do believe this bermuda triangle phenomenon is actually code for JEN’S GIANT NOSE! She’s just snorting up all those planes and boats.
    Anyhow, back to the story at hand- I believe every word, never a doubt that she could be such a classy lass!

  23. kitty_kat

    AJ got a nose job. Look at the pictures again. Her nose is chunkier in the older picture.

  24. SHwindie

    Okay so let me get this straight. Most of you guys seem to believe that because Angelina Jolie is “hot” it is perfectly moral and reasonable that she steals Bradd Pitt away from the “uglier” Jennifer Aniston. So you all also believe that being ugly is a crime if it’s something that nature gave you? on nice job, real nice. THAT’s not contradicting to the story AT ALL! Jennifer Aniston gets rumored to be a bitch and everyone belives it bcuz she’s not a natrual beauty like Angelina Jolie who was “blessed” with her natural looks. It’s this sort of thing that probably drives ppl like jennifer aniston to feeling like that hafta improve their looks just to make it in life. Give me a break man, all of you people who called Jennifer a whiny person can honestly say that you wouldn’t be sad if your husband publicly cheated on you? it’s not like it was a private matter, it was totally public!! and she’s supposed to keep quiet and AVOID all the media that goes up to HER? and everyone that kept going “angelina is so much hotter than jennifer” , do you guys think that you’re so pretty that your gf/bf would never cheat on you the same way? wtf are you thinking?!?! nice job guys! nice job…

  25. let’s jest get over it!!!

Leave A Comment