Jennifer Aniston dating Orlando Bloom – or a guy with brown hair

October 2nd, 2007 // 157 Comments

has some crack reporters on their staff. I’m not sure if they’ve unearthed some legitimate celebrity gossip or just pulled stuff out of their ass. At any rate, they’re claiming Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom were at a resort together in Mexico. Here are the details, I think:

Jennifer Aniston has been spotted holidaying in Mexico with a man that looks suspiciously like Lord Of The Rings star Orlando Bloom.
Although the photograph is a bit vague, Hollywood gossips are excited about the prospect of a new A-list couple.
The picture shows the former Friends beauty photographed sunbathing in a skimpy brown bikini while a topless toned hunk looks on admiringly.
A fellow holidaymaker at the luxurious resort said: “They were trying their best to be discreet but it was clear they were together.”

So Jennifer Aniston is dating a man with brown hair. It might be Orlando Bloom or it might not be. You know what? I’m just going to start making stuff up too. This just in: Jennifer Aniston is dating oxygen. The two were spotted together at a downtown café. Onlookers couldn’t help but notice oxygen spending a large amount of time in Jennifer’s mouth before going deeper into her chest. Jennifer had an on/off relationship with Vince Vaughn but seems to have found herself a more aggressive lover in this Periodic Table of Elements star.

UPDATE: Captain America talks about his one night stand with Jennifer Aniston. Check back later for the saucy details.

superficial

  1. jenfraud

    OH yes, and Aniston’s hair = BROWN Aniston’s eyes = BROWN. It must have been spooky for Brad to wake up next to brown eyes which turn blue at breakfast. Probably one of the reasons he realized she is a FRAUD and got the hell out.

  2. joe doe

    jenny is not beautiful….

  3. maria beatrice forte

    o my god…that was so funny about the period table of elements…you made my day….thanks

  4. xman

    Goddess period. i would even lick her with her period. Jen you are the best

  5. Stacy

    its not him doesnt he have a tat of a sun on his chest somewhere likes his stomach or his pecks something like that

  6. Dama

    She wouldn’t date a puke like Bloom. He’s the ass that crashed and screwed
    on the chick hurt inside the car.

  7. cfc

    Absolutely NO! One more boring pair. Orlando can find to itself somebody much better, than Aniston.

    ????????? ???! ??? ???? ??????? ????. ??????? ????? ????? ???? ????-?????? ??????? ?????, ??? ???????.

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