Jennifer Aniston breaks out the big guns

June 13th, 2009 // 98 Comments

Jennifer Aniston apparently set her cleavage to “Fuck You, John Mayer” last night at the Women in Film Crystal & Lucy Awards because, for the first time in a long time, I’m looking at her without feeling like my penis is smashed up against an iceberg. And for the record, yes, I do think of my reproductive organ as a massive nautical vessel. — Argh!


  1. Fati

    41 Amy, you brag like a total textbook case of a inferiority complex. If you are successful, good for you, but there is no need to act like an idiot. If you are going to explain and justify your actions and words to every moron, you are not as smart as you think you are. Just relax and enjoy your success with dignity and grace.

  2. Fati

    41 Amy, you brag like a total textbook case of an inferiority complex. If you are successful, good for you, but there is no need to act like an idiot. If you are going to explain and justify your actions and words to every moron, you are not as smart as you think you are. Just relax and enjoy your success with dignity and grace.

  3. Fati

    *an inferiority complex

  4. Camus

    @37: If you feel that way about it, why don’t you eat the business end of a handgun and spare us your regurgitated nihilist philosophy?

  5. Dave Barnes

    Jennifer needs to give up cigarettes and quit smoking tobacco.

  6. Stomp

    Id eat her pussy

  7. Amy

    Fati….you aren’t the best at getting jokes are you? It’s okay…I mean, it’s not easy to grasp context on a computer. I sometimes mistake humor for assholishness.

  8. Beauty

    She looks absolutely FABULOUS! She’s 20 years older than most of you and the starlet wannabes in Hollywack but looks d-e-l-i-c-i-o-u-s and healthy. All you jackasses would mumble bumble and be completely intimated by a woman like this…and that’s exactly why your wives and girlfriend are, for the was majority, ugly. The girl glows, smiles from the inside out, has tons of charisma and class, not to mention killer legs and ankles. LOVE THAT! She might not have a perfect face, but she sure is beautiful. And hey, if she’s still single, what do you expect? It’s hard to find a man that lives up to Brad Pitt.

  9. toto

    you haters are the reason alot of people are supporting her.

  10. titsonsnack

    She is forty… when my mom was 40 I was already 21, and moved out and living on my own.

  11. xyzzy

    The dress is a serious fashion design mistake. It’s absolute shite. Stupid and unflattering.

    The fact that she still manages to look good in it shows what a kickin bod she still has.

  12. I can’t believe she’s 40!

  13. Alli Watermelon

    Wow, she’s looking hot. Look at that bod!!

  14. Alli Watermelon

    Wow, she’s looking hot. Look at that bod!!

  15. Zippy the Wonder Slug

    I’d kill for just one weekend with her! I’ll give her babies, my nuts on a platter, anything she fu*king wants! I just want her legs wrapped around me and my face buried between those tits!

  16. assman approves.

  17. I would fuck her anytime…

  18. Burungi

    Amy – I’d agree with you 100% if you hadn’t had to point out that you’re ’24 and not a spic’. Wanting to prove that you’re young and white makes you sound as ignorant as that troll.

    #60 – The fact that your mom was a teen mother is nothing to brag about.

  19. Richard Wm. Narlian

    Knowing how rockers and actors treat their wenches,this piece of spent meat
    at least survived,(so far).
    Too bad,her face is ready for radio.

  20. RtSS

    I believe that our sweet Jenn has now ‘jumped the shark…’. Her face in image #1 and #2 is not very attractive. Plus, what aluminum foil bake potato wrapped dress does she have on here? I mean please. Ouch! I cut myself on the edge as I was opening it up to put cheese and butter on. Curses ‘foiled again’. She used to have an beautiful hour glass figure, don’t see that any more. Is that a baby bump, or just a gut forming? Lumpy bake potato?

  21. cookie

    For singles …. I found a hot place where you can find your rich and sexy partner…
    Try your best to enjoy life..[========SugarBabyMeet.cOm ======]

  22. tc

    It is important that I make this woman pregnant as soon as reasonably possible.

    I’d even eschew the anal pleasure she needs until she was properly impregnated.

  23. TommyToe4

    She is so beautiful.

  24. Mama Pinkus

    I think she’s lovely but that is one ugly dress indeed

  25. Amy Amy Amy

    Poor sweet girl. You are closer to being dead today than you were when you took the time to verbally assault me – a fine and good man – for no good reason. I never said anything negative to you other than the mean-spirited things I said. Does offending innocent sadists satisfy an inner craving that sex cannot? I would guess you a bitter young woman. Something is obviously very wrong with you.
    Vaginal odor? Excessive pubic hair and rashes about the genitals?
    Please allow me to find meaning in the few remaining days I have.

  26. That metallic sunvisor dress of hers proves that she is indeed, delusional.

  27. Carla

    She is trying to show as much skin as she can the very look of desperation. I think she listen to a lot of bad advice as well as being stupid. She remind me of Madonna both are so desperate you can smell desperation on them.

  28. bigbadwolf

    I’d bang this bitch in 360 degrees. Top to bottom and left to right. How many positions in the Kama Sutra? Whatever there is, we’d add a couple.

    Afterwards she wouldn’t know whether she’s going or coming. She’d be walking into walls, knocking herself onto her ass, and giggling. Drunk on the sexual power of my penis pelvic motion. She’d have forgotten ever having met Tyler Durden and Cheezeball Mayer.


    Come to me my darling, and I will lead you to sexual, loving paradise. And knock your ass up in the bargain, if you like. A couple of rugrats with yours and my genes in them would take over this world.

  29. lalala

    She looks fantastic. And for everyone saying how she’s dried up or can’t have kids or can’t keep a guy…ever considered that after getting f-ed over by a cheating husband, she now just wants to mess around with some young hotties for a while? Maybe she’s not trying to have a long-term relationship, not trying to have a bunch of babies, and simply enjoying looking hot — sleeping with hot younger men and making movies. And her body is absolutely bangin’ no matter what her age is. She’s still got it. The only thing pathetic is how everyone attacks her for living her life and having fun.

  30. name

    jen you would look younger if you did your hair dark again! the blonde looks gray and too common and not exotic and not as sexy. it reminds me of like diane keaton and every other actress with light hair as they get older. you are greek! you would look hot with brown hair again! like in the rachel days. and wear it up and tan elss. you will look younger and sexier. you already do.. but think about the possibilities.. you look so common now..

  31. ElleV

    ok, I don’t even know what to say about her – its hard to know where to start. I don’t dislike this woman at all. I’ll just say it must be hard being her. All the money and fame, she works what she was given (looks wise).

    I don’t know if it is the media but she does come off needy – I saw that when she was dating Brad – remember the pic of her and Brad at an Elton John concert, the first pics of them together and she had her whole body wrapped around him.

    Also that b/w wedding pic of Brad with his head down – he didn’t look happy then. She snagged him when he was obviously still not quite over the breakup with GP. It happens a lot, a person ends up marrying or getting pregnant by their rebound b/c they got them when they were down. Jen comes off sugary sweet but she is very manipulative. But her mistake was choosing to pursue a movie career and not a family. She probably figured since she is married to Brad she could catapult to movie A list super stardom but it didn’t quite work and she lost it all.

    He was never truly hers to begin with so you can’t lose what’s not yours. That’s why it is such a crock that Angelina stole him, Brad was only in that marriage in body – his mind, heart, and soul were elsewhere.

    Also, why the hell is Charlie Sheen’s ex (forgot her name) on every gossip site about that shitty show no one cares about.

    #76 that was pretty lol funny!

  32. Me LV

    yeah, she looks a bit stale the hair, makeup, the face, stomach, the dress all this for some bullshit award I heard even pamela anderson won a few years back. I think the stylists took the day off on this one from the hair on down.

  33. Mags

    maybe its just me but she looks like she could be pregnant (maybe why her boobs look so big…)..not that she looks fat at all but she looks a little round in her lower stomach

  34. B

    she looks stunning~

  35. B

    she looks stunning!

  36. She needs to stick to 2″ heel / closed toe shoes. Her feet look too strained and veiny.

  37. Must See!!!


  38. A very average looking woman in a very below average looking dress.

  39. dude

    Grrrr where is the obligatory ASS SHOT!!! She looks good

  40. Anonymous

    She is FAR classier and better looking than Jolie. Pitt blew it big time.

  41. What??? Amy managed to make this thread about her? I’ll never believe it… Get the fuck outta here… no, seriously… I’ll bet you got that chastity award by passing an (ahem) oral exam…

    I mean, aren’t there places farther off than Alaska? You can see Russia from there, I hear…

  42. Kangaroo

    RE: “She needs to stick to 2″ heel / closed toe shoes. Her feet look too strained and veiny.”

    Too much bronzer ? Her feet look like she kicked a pizza.

  43. Nahuh

    Get a life !!!!! That’s for all you people who do not have a nice thing to say.
    ??? ?? ?????? ? ?????? ?? ????? ??????????? !!!!! As Greeks would say !!! Have a great day !

  44. RtSS

    Beautiful Jenn… Face Down, Ass Up! ASSume the position. I’d probe her any any one of her holes. She is a fine POA!!!

  45. sebastianudo

    shes insanely HOT


  46. MewMew

    “OH my eyes…its ‘orrible!”.
    Big no for me. What an ugly dress and a tired looking face.

  47. Pamela
    Commented on this photo:

    Lookin good Jen

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