Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are engaged

July 6th, 2006 // 83 Comments
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Life & Style is reporting that Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston are engaged after Vaughn proposed during their recent trip to Paris to promote The Break-Up. Jennifer has allegedly invited Brad Pitt’s mom to the wedding and Vaughn is trying to get in shape for the big day, with Aniston telling a friend: “He’s started the Zone diet, and he’s working out. He looks great.” Aniston is reportedly waiting for the heat over Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s baby to die down before trading vows, although an insider insists Aniston is getting serious about her wedding plans, saying: “Jen’s already asked Courteney Cox to be her matron of honor.”

The source is Life & Style so I wouldn’t take the news too seriously. When you make up half your stories it’s pretty easy to forget when you’re telling the truth. Just the other day I paid a homeless guy $20 to tell me Vin Diesel lost his virginity to a mop. And now I can write with confidence that a source exclusively revealed to me that Vin Diesel lost his virginity to a mop. Bad reporting? Or the shocking truth!

superficial

  1. gigi33

    I hope they do get married. At least she finally get a man. Brad’s a wimp. He and Jolie won’t last until next summer.

  2. ellaminnowpea

    @44 – because her eggs are aging faster by the minute!! ….and you know she REALLY wants a baby…..for real….true story….she says so….

  3. MoronicLoser

    Can we PLEEEEEZE call them AnniVaughn or VaunIston!!!!

  4. bootface

    54 – Vaughiston sounds good

  5. Rimmer

    I hope they’ll adopt like 7 babies and have triplets. That’ll show Brangelina.

  6. jrzmommy

    54 and 55: how about Jince…..not a lot of syllables.

  7. Rimmer

    What about … Vaughanni or …… Vaughina

  8. MoronicLoser

    @57–> Jince! I like it!!!! Vinnifer?

  9. Is Vin Diesel a big fag or what?! As for the Jennifer A. thing… eh. She’s done.

  10. MoronicLoser

    Vaughn-Gina!!!

  11. jane's eyre

    Vincifer.

  12. jrzmommy

    How about we just get used to calling them what they’re gonna be called anyhow, The estranged wife of Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston’s second ex-husband, Vince Vaughn. Not as catchy as Vincifer (which conjures up images of Lucifer, by the way, so I vote for that one) but accurate all the same.

  13. francesfarmer

    Yeah who knows if this is true and where SF gets their stories from anymore…but if it is wasn’t Courtney Cox the maid of honour in her first wedding?
    #21: ugh

  14. andrewthezeppo

    I hate this skank, all she does is cry about her ex-husband to the press. Sorry Jen you look like a horse, but without the grace and pretty fur. Her face looks like a shield and that nose….ick. I hope that Brand and Angelina decide to get married quickly just the week before her, just for spite.

  15. dinosore

    Vince Vaughn is just gross.

  16. yuckyfresh

    the words “matron” and “courtney cox” somehow seem wrong together. she’s way too hot to be called a matron.

  17. Shelley Bonnechance

    “Wait, guys, I just realized something… If they’re dating we want them to get married. If they’re married we want them to divorce. If they’re fat we want them skinny. If they’re skinny we want them fat. No one will ever meet our unfair standards.”

    But #37, I thought that was why we were all superficial….

  18. yuckyfresh

    @28 – did you see Troy? i think you’re wrong on who could beat up who, but i think that’s beside the point to who looks better in gold armor. no contest.

  19. JolieIsADiseaseRiddenBloodsuckingWhore

    Wow. Are there really freak Jolie lovers here saying Jennifer is moving too fast? It’s not like she fucked a married man, had a kid with him, adopted a kid, etc. in a matter of months. Whoa Jen….Slow the fuck down. WTF??? Brangelina fans go the fuck away.

  20. bella420

    37- It’s a beautiful thing isn’t it?
    No celebrity will ever measure up, still they go out of their minds trying. They starve, bleach, and fry themselves, all for our viewing pleasure. Then they crack, and get fat and crazy, like puppets on a string.
    I know that sounds evil, but it is hard to feel sorry for these people. If they don’t want the constant pressure to be thin, or not too thin, or married or divorced they could always go work at Denny’s or something. Last time I checked nobody was going out of their way to steal photographs of my plumbers new baby.
    They choose to put themselves on display, and in return they get millions of dollars.
    Just remember that those huge aviator sunglasses and jewel encrusted sidekicks were bought with YOUR money, Joe Public. And if you ever feel bad about criticizing a celebrity just remember three things:
    a} that’s part of a deal they accept
    b} they all think they are better than you
    c} but you brought them into this world and you can take them out!

  21. Valtrex

    I’d do her.

  22. ffordegroupie

    I’ve read in more than one place that Jennifer stole Sandra Bullock’s longtime BF pre-Brad. Not only was she totally sneaky about it, but she also publicly made fun of Sandra in restaurants and stuff.

    Well, karma’s a bitch. Now she’s obsessed with her ex, who no longer thinks about her becuz he’s with the sexiest woman in the world. And she’s got a toned body, old-lady face, bad movie career, and past the Hollywood sell-by date. Goodbye, Jen. Your time is running out.

  23. JolieIsADiseaseRiddenBloodsuckingWhore

    @73. Brad’s with the sexiest woman in the world? Who are you talking about??…..Oh Wait a minute, you mean when he looks in the mirror he sees the most beautiful woman in the world. I get it.

  24. Tits_McGhee

    Wow, this just seems so right! I mean, Jen has Vince on the Zone diet because she thinks he’s too chubby and we all know how much she is into herself and the whole plastic surgery movement (her nose for sure).

    With a superficial attitude and massive ego, I’m sure Vaughn is doing the right thing! I mean, I can totally picture them well into their 80′s together! (INSERT SARCASM HERE).

  25. magickal

    Tits McGhee:

    I salute you. Not everyone understands the plight of Ron Burghandy.

    Love, A Smelly Pirate Hooker

    “Aaaqua-luu-ung”

  26. magickal

    Burgandy. Burgandy, Goddammit!!!!!! I love lamp.

  27. Jason “ugly horse” Aniston is ugly…..and she looks like a horse…..

  28. slinkhard

    74, you lie! Brad may be a beautiful woman, but his crater-face prevents him making the top ten list, let alone number one.

  29. sita

    she doesn’t do anything on her own… yet it’s always all about her… she was one of many actors on Friends… she was the wife of Brad Pitt… she was the female half of the Break Up movie… wah wah wah… stfu already.

  30. JolieIsADiseaseRiddenBloodsuckingWhore

    You’re right 79. Deepest apologies

  31. this history is so pathetic it is as like Tom Cruise & Kate Holmes and Nicole and “I do not know any more how it is called”. The race of the marriage and the race of happiness.

    Not chance, the happiness be negotiated which wants she to make believe what with this Vince, the servant boy next door. is capable of zap Brad…? Poor girl wastes herself

  32. garbagepailkid

    This makes me want to vomit…

    Why would he willingly marry a woman (and i use the term loosely) that looks like Don knots in drag?

    Recipe for Jennifer aniston:

    Take one Mr. Roper in chunky over highlighted wig. Add breast reduction.
    Hit in face with meat tenderizer for 3 to 6 hours. Repeat.

  33. garbagepailkid

    Knotts*

    suck it.

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