Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are engaged

July 6th, 2006 // 83 Comments
jennifer-aniston-vince-vaughn-engaged.jpg

Life & Style is reporting that Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston are engaged after Vaughn proposed during their recent trip to Paris to promote The Break-Up. Jennifer has allegedly invited Brad Pitt’s mom to the wedding and Vaughn is trying to get in shape for the big day, with Aniston telling a friend: “He’s started the Zone diet, and he’s working out. He looks great.” Aniston is reportedly waiting for the heat over Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s baby to die down before trading vows, although an insider insists Aniston is getting serious about her wedding plans, saying: “Jen’s already asked Courteney Cox to be her matron of honor.”

The source is Life & Style so I wouldn’t take the news too seriously. When you make up half your stories it’s pretty easy to forget when you’re telling the truth. Just the other day I paid a homeless guy $20 to tell me Vin Diesel lost his virginity to a mop. And now I can write with confidence that a source exclusively revealed to me that Vin Diesel lost his virginity to a mop. Bad reporting? Or the shocking truth!

superficial

  1. asbo

    Bitch!

  2. eatmyass_sherry-co

    TCLTC

  3. SpecialAgentWind

    Me thinks Jenn unlocked a secret treasure of gold. It was found in the bags under Vince’s eyes. I never quite understood the attraction to gay Brad anyway.

  4. How cliche… getting engaged in Paris. Maybe they’ll turn out like Tom/Kat. Ewww.

  5. CoJo

    I guess if I don’t have anything bad to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all, but I’m sorry. I like her and I think Vince is hilarious. Good for them. I honestly don’t understand what either of them (meaning Jen and Angelina a.k.a “the girl I’d go gay for”) see or saw in Brad Pitt. Egh. All down hill after Fight Club. There. I said something bad. I knew this post wouldn’t go in vein!

  6. slickwilliejr

    thats odd, because i have a source who told me vin disel lost his virginity to a plunger handle.

    the same source tells me that anne hathaway is dying to have me penetrate her.

    and just an FYI…it only took half a cheeseburger for my source to reveal all this, not $20.

  7. tits_on_snack

    the principal has a shirt-weiner.

  8. pop

    nice one – i read this same story here 2 weeks ago…try to keep up on the news…

    http://www.popculturepundit.blogspot.com/

    p.s. i’m so glad i’m not the only one to lose his virginity to a mop…well actually it was my swiffer wet-jet…

  9. I have no idea how I am going to do it, but at some point in my day I plan on using the phrase “losing his virginity to a mop” in a meeting.

    I’ll let you know if I get fired or promoted for creativity.

  10. Fugurself

    Congrats to V. Vaughn, he managed to snag a horse-faced bitch for a fiance.

    Question to the insightful:

    Does she come with a stable and a saddle?

  11. damon2020

    What I want to know is why in the hell anyone still cares about her? She is one of the worst actresses there is.

  12. tinyTy

    I thought I was the only woman that doesn’t get the Brad Pitt thing. Find a troll doll and compare it to a picture of Brad. You will see that Brad is the offspring of a troll/human mating. I like Vince because he’s tall and he looks like a human male. He’s one of those guys that looks like he could be hot if he had a really good nap and more time in the sun.

  13. damon2020

    #10 are you first at being #10?

  14. how do people not think she is hot?
    Not Angelina hot, but still hot!

  15. trailercamptramp

    dosent surprise me about mr broom broom desiel

  16. Go away, Aniston. Wow, if they tie the knot, this could be celebrity wedding publicity part two. Wasn’t Tom and Katie enough?

    http://www.wehateeverybody.com

  17. Rimmer

    Maybe now Jen can loose her virginity too.

  18. Italian Stallion

    My sources have confirmed that Rosie O’Donnell is going to be the best man, and it’s not Life and Style so you know it’s true. It’s gonna be hard to get Tom Cruise off Rosie’s cock so she can be in the wedding, but we all know how that goes. Fucking crazy faggot…………..

  19. So what? I found a picture of Mandy Moore’s old boyfriend’s penis. THAT you can care about. A penis! Good stuff.

    http://spankcheeks.blogspot.com/2006/07/look-wiener.html

  20. Am I wrong, but she just bores the shit out of me.

  21. princess cakes?!?

    at least vince vaughn doesn’t have pockmarks like brad pitt
    i won’t lie, i’d def. still hit that, pocks and all!

  22. tinyTy

    I think she’s only a year younger than Pam, but looks decades younger. So for her fresh, youthfull looks and vagina that is probably not skanky I’d give her an 8 on the If-I-Were-A-Lesbian rating.

  23. pinky_nip

    She looks like she’d be as exciting as vanilla in bed.

    I think she probably thinks “gettin’ kinky” means being on top.

  24. joker13

    Is this the most interesting news of the day?

  25. pinochio

    Love Jen, she’s one celebrity who is not stealing men, trying to kill their babies or make their vagina like venus-trap plant.

  26. Jacq

    I did not like the Break-Up because it wasn’t a make you laugh, space-out movie. It was like real life. I don’t have to pay for that. My BF and I have the same fights, say some of the same shit and if one or the other of us tried to do her “make him realize the error os his ways” thing, neither of us would give a shit.

    I’d take Vince because he could whip Brad’s ass in a heartbeat. Plus, tall guys are sexy.

  27. SpecialAgentWind

    I hate to say it, but I sure miss the country folk.

  28. Shelley Bonnechance

    I think Jennifer Aniston is pretty.

    Amd I think that Vince Vaughan looks like a real guy too – funny comment, #14. I think he looks like the type who’d be much more comfortable buying a ceiling fan at Menard’s than strolling down a red carpet.

    I don’t get the Brad Pitt thing either. He always seems to have his mouth hanging open – ever noticed that? And he just looks…I don’t know…kind of plastic. He made my skin crawl when he was sporting that mountain man beard a couple of years back.

    Plus, I think it’s hilarious the way he’s always pictured now, staggering about four steps behind Angelina with a kid on each hip, while she sails imperturbably ahead, making her boob-a-licious way through life with him as her manny/boytoy.

  29. here

    A tortoise has caught a hare.

  30. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I hope they have many blandly entertaining and semi-attractive babies together.

  31. jrzmommy

    if it’s true….nice little “fuck-you” to Angelina for Jen to invite Brad’s mom to the service. (The final “fuck-you” will be if she goes.)

    I’d rather make babies with Vince than Brad. Vince just seems like hardier stock than that mirror-kissing, hair-dying pretty boy.

  32. PapaHotNuts

    Brad Pitt doesn’t even own Speaker City.

  33. krisdylee

    Word of advice to Jen, Vincey may be trying to get in shape now, but he’s gonna blow in about 2 years. Yep, a nice chubby, sweaty Vince…. MMMmmmm.. jiggly man-boobs.

  34. Jacq

    Wait, guys, I just realized something… If they’re dating we want them to get married. If they’re married we want them to divorce. If they’re fat we want them skinny. If they’re skinny we want them fat. No one will ever meet our unfair standards. Yet, they try and that is fucking awesome.
    Except for me. I meet them and I am perfect.

  35. tinyTy

    #37, so right, but they’re asking for it by being rich celebrities. Also, Brad Pitt is whipped and likes to be dominated. I bet he has a small penis and Vince has a big one.

  36. Dr.Rokter

    I think the best thing for Jennifer Aniston and NASA, would be to send her to space. We both know both are boring and overpriced, and nobody gives a shit anyway. But I think “the effects of space on Jennifer Aniston” is a valid enough research subject to justify the cost. I’d also like to send her out hunting feral pigs with Ted Nugent, and to several small women’s colleges to give a speech about keeping your dreams alive.

  37. i hope she has a baby and takes it to the beach and it pulls her top to the side and shows her boobs and smiles at the camera like she did it on purpose…just like coco cox!!

  38. RichPort

    When you get dumped by Brad Pitt I guess you’ll fuck just about anything.

  39. At some point, Vince and Jen will have to publicly acknowledge that they’re dating. I think their wedding day would be a good time to do that.

    http://glossedover.com

  40. Hopefully the kids get Dad’s looks and sense of humor.

  41. metini

    I give it 4 months. This just seems so rushed and forced and desperate. I can just picture Courtney holding a bottle of maple syrup over Vince’s head threatening him to Marry jen or the syrup gets it!

    Why the hell they all in a hurry to get married anyways??

  42. Bambella

    Yawn.

  43. magickal

    I have to admit, this news makes me incredibly happy and I hope it’s true. I would take Vince Vaughn and his moobs anyday over the faggy morphing likes of Brad Armpitt.

    And, #34 – you are soooo right. A nice Fuck You in the face of that husband stealing cunt Angelina. I’ll bet she makes Brad forbid his mommy to go to the wedding if she ever wants to see her real grandchild (and the adopted “fake” ones) again. Hopefully Jane Pii is not as whipped as her fuck faced son. BPLTC!!!!!!!

  44. magickal

    Woops…that’s Jane PITT not Jane Pii. Doy!!!

  45. jFp

    I bet she is frigid….not sure why…she has that look like she just lays there and makes you do all the work.

    She needs a nose job. She has that WC Fields nose look and that would scare me and my coke stash.

  46. IFuckingHateYou

    I wouldn’t fuck Angelina with Brad Pitt’s tiny little clit-cock.

  47. bootface

    Aniston needs to die…

  48. No_Angel

    I’m happy for them. I know that goes against the Superfish credo. Vince appears to be a down to earth guy with regular values. I don’t feel sorry for Aniston because she handled the split with Pitt fairly well. I hope Brad’s mom comes to the wedding — that’d be a nice fuck off to Brangelia. I hope it’s the real thing for them.

Leave A Comment