Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Quest For a Happy Ending No Longer Involves Marriage

Posted by Photo Boy

In a rare move for her, Jennifer Love Hewitt went on Chelsea Lately and said something that makes her seem desperate. Crazy, right? Looking for that special someone must have become too exhausting, because J Love’s pawning those three pre-selected engagement rings for spending cash to have a masseuse let his fingers do the walking across her vajazzles. Via HuffPost Celebrity:

When Handler asked Hewitt if she would ever consider receiving one (Ed – a happy ending), Hewitt said that it would be “amazeballs.”

No, what’s “amazeballs” (Yes, I’ll kill myself for that) is that she even has to entertain the idea of paying for sex. Most women — of any shape or size — can’t walk down the street without half a dozen men side-eying their asses, who are willing to literally lose their job if she was to say “Would anyone here like to bring me to their office and have sex on their boss’s desk?” It really is telling of how instantly repelled guys are the minute she opens her mouth and crazy jumps out.

BLIND DATE: Oh my God, you’re Jennifer Love Hewitt, I can’t believe this! I had such a crush on you when you were on Party of Five.
JENNIFER: I accept your compliment as verbal confirmation of our pre-engagement, so if you don’t mind posing for a quick picture, I can get started on these Save The Dates.
BLIND DATE: *breaks champagne glass, stabs own neck*

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN