“And there’s three of them already picked out. You don’t even have to shop.”
Last week, we found out Jennifer Love Hewitt managed to score a date with The Bachelorette 2nd place contestant Ben Flajnik after he saw her pining for him over Twitter and went in for the mercy lay. That romance ended as quickly as it began because three days later he was chosen to be the next star of The Bachelor and naturally chose to have ABC pay him to get banged by chicks they’re paying to bang him for his hand in marriage. (Sometimes you’re alright, America.) In response, here’s Jennifer Love Hewitt running into a random dude outside of a pizza shop – of course – and then attempting to discreetly slip into her house where she later emerged in sweats and a T-shirt because if there’s one thing J. Love knows, it’s how to keep a man. Then again, I could be reading this situation entirely wrong, and it’s more along these lines.
J. LOVE: *stops car, rolls down window* Hey! Hey, kid.
KID: Yeah?
J. LOVE: C’mere. I’ll let ya see my tits if you do me a favor.
KID: What kind of favor?
J. LOVE: I need ya to go into a supermarket and buy me 40 bear claws before Real Housewives starts.
KID: Why can’t you do it yourself?
J. LOVE: Eh, the paparazzi are all over me, I ain’t got time to explain. So, c’mon, kid, ya in or not? I’m hurtin’. I’m hurtin’ real bad.
KID: I dunno…
J. LOVE: Alright, alright, new proposition: I got these three rings in my purse…
Photo: Pacific Coast News
Why oh why! Another “she used to be so hot”; still is in the face but the gut and the legs look like something on a Hogan
She’s still hot in the tits too.
He’s picking her up in a “Loading Only” zone. I bet he found that convenient.
… and …
awe cute they have matching chucks
Mystery man? Someone run his tag number!
If I was her, I’d talk the USO into flying me to Iraq and just run around in the sand until a landmine blew my legs off.
….She tried but was rejected by Official Command. Turns-out they are not into her type. They’re into the refined, classic beauties, like Rosie O’Donnell types….Artofwar
Why haven’t they given her a dating show like Brett Michaels? “Trailer of Luv” would be disgusting but I’d watch.
Or better yet, “Tent of Love: Three Ring Circus”
…Or better yet– “Used Condoms Under The Bed”– I’ll admit, it’s a bit wordy, but you can’t deny the poetic vibe….Artofwar
Damn you guys are mean. I think she is still hot.
I really want to blame the camera angle here for her legs and thighs… I really would.
I blame the fact that she’s got the type legs that do NOT look great when cut off by sneakers, or any other shoes/sandals that stop at the ankle.
Specifically what street corner was this taking place? So I can be sure to avoid it when I visit?
Don’t forget to include the side streets.
Hard to tell if this guy is a step up or down from when she dated Joey Lawrence.
The shoes really bring out the cankles in her tree trunk legs.
She seems to like men who resemble rats.
….We in the Rat community find your comment hurtful and insulting. Please refrain from your wanton inter-species defamatory statements….Artofwar
I’ve seen that face on women I’ve banged before. It’s a face that tells me I did my job well.
Look at those legs, they don’t seem to match the feet.. WTS… I would still bone and here’s my number 928-474-4411. The wife said I could if she got to watch…
where is this at? cuz that dress with those shoes are totally turning me on…
It’s so hard to get pregnant once youve passed menopause
It’s so hard to know what menopause is if you never passed biology. She’s only about 32, fer chrissakes.
…Yep.
If it doesn’t look like this guy is packing cookies and bacon, I refuse to buy this.
….Thought it was supposed to be wiped cream and sausage–I’m confused….Artofwar
Yeah, you are confused. Seriously, how fucking insecure are you that you have to sign your fucking posts “artofwar” when you’re already fucking posting under a fucking heading that fucking tells us who you fucking are? Fuck.
And it’s “whipped” cream, not “wiped” cream.
That dress looks like a fucking tent. I’d do butt sex with her still…but I’d treat her real dirty and make her squel like the dirty little pig she is.
….The “butt sex” part, was sufficient— the “sequel like the dirty little pig she is” part, goes without saying….Artofwar
Squel? Sequel? How about squeal?
How about you get off your ass and get a life grammar Nazi.
who is the black guy she’s with?
whaaat
I know this is partly my nostalgia talking, but….Note to self: Hang out at supermarkets in JLH’s neighborhood wearing suit made out of bear claws.
That right there is a perfect example of “The Duel Walk of Shame”
That right there is a perfect example of “The Dual Walk of Shame”
epic, immense fail on the godly scale.
Make all the jokes you guys want, I’d be more than happy to get picked up by her. I’m guessing that despite the comments, most of you would too.
….Relax fella—most guys would bang a moist crack in the wall if it looked like it wanted it.
So the fact that most guys would tear this particular vagina off the bone doesn’t say much for this particular vagina owner– or for the matter, vagina owners in general.
We eat, we fuck, we die, thus, are the wonders of life….Artofwar
I’ll marry her. When is she in S.F. next??
Them Keds she’s a-wearin’ are mighty fetchin’! Yes sir-ree!! Mighty fetchin’!
Dude, I would love to bang her while she wears them throw back kicks. OMFG!
i like you
Is this kid out of high school, yet?
I’d hit it. When is she coming to NY? I’ll get her favorite pre-Bachelor meal from the bodega… wine coolers and Wavy Lays.
I bet that is her brother, they look exactly alike.
This is clearly a street deal for tax free twinkies.
Her calves make me happy I’m not short.
I’m almost positive this is my best friend from 5th and 6th grade, his name is Jarod Einsohn. He’s the same age as me, 27. He’s some kind of small-time actor and he’s been in a few things. I grew up with him so I knows him when I sees him. Here’s his imdb: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2430329/ I defy you to prove that it’s not him. Compare his google image pics and you’ll see too. You’re welcome TheSuperficial for breaking this important story for you.
hmmmm the fact that the limpet is not attached to some part of his bod in these pics & that he looks old enough to be her kid – I’m betting brother. If its not her brother, is this her way of announcing she has adopted a child from… Detroit?
This dipshit scores with a fucking Honda Accord???? Are you shitting me???? Damn, I’m driving to LA tonite in my Vette and will post photos tomorrow, should be a lock. Hope the star maps have her address.
I’m 100% positive this is him. Picture 14 is the most obvious as compared to his imdb page and google images. The piece that seals the deal is the Texas emblem on the back of his Accord. Plano, Texas is where we grew up together and he was born there.
All I see is a handsome guy and a beautiful woman walking across the street! Shame on all you speculating haters!
Where are all the tools from the Demi Lovato post that said 7/10 or better famous women won’t bang regular guys?
He is a pretty regular nobody rolling her around in an Accord.
those legs are really a joke in a dress, hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!
There are still some spectacular breasts in there but she better hurry and use them to land a man. I understand she is open to darn near anything sexually and that’s a plus. But she is over the hill and rapidly heading to the valley of irrelevance.
“I wonder if she’s gonna put out.”
“I wonder what this is between my teeth.”
What are you, 12 years old? Leave the lady alone
Reading it as WAY sexier of a situation than it is…. that guy is obviously her ‘herb’ hook-up…. notice the green T-shirt (advertising greens for sale) and dirty pants…. he is the weed-man for sure. She probably has medical card!
idc how crazy or chunky ppl think she is now.
i would still give my foot to be her personal cunilingus attendant.