Jennifer Love Hewitt Is Engaged Now, Too

June 5th, 2013 // 34 Comments
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Apparently this announcement was a two-parter because now Us Weekly is reporting Jennifer Love Hewitt and Brian Hallisay are engaged which is kind of the whole point of using your vagina as a bear trap. Not to mention, Jennifer Love Hewitt has never had a problem landing an engagement, it’s the everything between that decision and the wedding where she does whatever crazy shit she does to make a man abandon huge awesome breasts. In the meantime, somewhere Kim Kardashian is showing Kanye the new issue of Us as he slowly moves the mouse to the Close button on their Skype window. He hears Sweden is nice this time of year.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Engaged Cleavage The Client List Set
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    In every picture, there’s a black guy, looking at JLH’s ass..

  2. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Engaged Cleavage The Client List Set
    FattyFatty2X4
    Commented on this photo:

    “This is how low my tits will hang 5 months in.”

  3. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Engaged Cleavage The Client List Set
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    “And I was like ‘WHOA, you actually believed I was on the pill, you’re so stupid!’ I can’t wait to have his baby.”

  4. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Engaged Cleavage The Client List Set
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “Where’s my damn fiance? He better get back here fast so we can start picking out the fringe on the doileys that will be underneath the soap dishes in the handicapped bathroom of the reception venue!”

  5. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Engaged Cleavage The Client List Set
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    That piece of fabric is screaming thru its teeth “You motherfucker!!!”

  6. Emma watson's Vagina

    I somehow do not give a fuck. but just enough to post this comment.

  7. EricLR

    Hopefully she’s learned from her past mistakes of making the engagements longer than the effect of the drugs.

  8. Inner Bastard

    I think someone needed a beard bad.

  9. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Engaged Cleavage The Client List Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Technically will the kid still be a bastard ? Possibly not born out of wedlock, but definitely conceived. FYI, I find that most parents are not that receptive when using this term to refer to their child. Go figure.

  10. Cock Dr

    Good luck with all of that.

  11. She is going to lock this guy in the basement in a cage and shackle him also. She is never going to let him get away. I am imagining her breaking his legs so he can’t get away like in Misery.

  12. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Engaged Cleavage The Client List Set
    Jc
    Commented on this photo:

    And then I grabbed him by the balls and said, “I’m willing to ruin my body and blow out my vagina in childbirth– do you want to play chicken with me or put this ring I’ve been carrying in my bag since high school on my finger?!”

    • mimmy

      “…this ring I’ve been carrying in my bag since high school…”

      Technically it’s three rings; but you’re probably right on how it went down.

  13. Isn’t this one of the signs that the world is about to end? Well, it was a fun ride.

  14. There’s an old joke what are the three rings in marriage

    Engagement Ring
    Wedding Ring
    Suffering

    Mazel tov, you crazy kids!

  15. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Engaged Cleavage The Client List Set
    stucco
    Commented on this photo:

    But do I just go Jessica Simpson fat, or do I go all out Kim Kardashian fat.

  16. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Engaged Cleavage The Client List Set
    Commented on this photo:

    …and they will be SPECTACULAR…

  17. I wonder if she used the same playbook that Jessica Simpson used.

  18. crb

    Where was R. Lee Ermey when that poor bastard needed a life-coach?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ba0SFhRXdLE

  19. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Engaged Cleavage The Client List Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Cannot wait to hear the names she has in mind for the kid.

  20. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Engaged Cleavage The Client List Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I can feel the baby kicking already.

  21. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Engaged Cleavage The Client List Set
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    So this pic was right after she got the engagement ring?

    (And by “got”, I mean she took it from her purse and handed it to him before he handed it right back and she acted surprised? Damn, this is JLH, so act probably isn’t the right word either.)

  22. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Engaged Cleavage The Client List Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “All I had to do was tell him how big my boobs would get when I’m pregnant and suddenly *he’s* the one reaching for the engagement ring drawer on the bedside table. I call it the Simpson defense.”

  23. Of course, they’re engaged. If they weren’t engaged and she got pregnant, people would think she was whore, right? We’re so progressive on these issues.

  24. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Engaged Cleavage The Client List Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Imagine you’re this poor guy who has to spend the rest of his life coming up with some sugar-coated BS every time she asks, “Honey, do these pants make my butt look big?”

  25. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Engaged Cleavage The Client List Set
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    Would like to motorboat those awesome tits and ravage her asshole.

  26. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Engaged Cleavage The Client List Set
    Artimus
    Commented on this photo:

    I always thought the baby bump was supposed to be on the front.

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