Jennifer Love Hewitt Poses For Maxim, Still Vagazzles

Here’s Jennifer Love Hewitt posing for the April issue of Maxim where she discusses how her giant breasts and dedication to vagazzling somehow still leave her unloved and alone without one of three pre-chosen rings on her finger:

You’re a big proponent of “vagazzaling.” Can you explain what that is?
Vagazzaling is where you stick Swarovski crystals on the female area to add a little glitz and glamour. I actually named it that because it’s like BeDazzling for your hoo-ha.
Well, it’s a very descriptive term.
The fun part of being a girl is that there are little beauty things you can do to make yourself feel special. I can walk around all day and think, Nobody has any idea that I have a sparkly secret in my pants right now. It kind of took off after I wrote about it in my book, and now I have strangers coming up to me all the time like, “Oh, my God, I’m vagazzaled right now. Want to see?” I’m like, “No, I don’t, but congratulations.”

And yet despite all that vaginal pageantry, Jennifer Love Hewitt finds herself without a man to blind in the eye should the light hit her snooch just right:

Now that you’re single, you must get hit on a ton.
It might sound so stupid, but guys do not hit on me. I’m not really sure why, but it’s very rare that a guy will ever come up to me and be like, “I’m going to lay down my game right now, and you’re going to like it.”

DUDE: Hi, I’m Tim.
JENNIFER: Let’s get married in June!
DUDE: Oh God Jesus NO. *lights face on fire*

Now try and guess what went wrong back there, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and you should’ve pulled out the rings first isn’t the right answer.

Photo: Maxim