Jennifer Love Hewitt Learned How To Be A Bitch

December 15th, 2011 // 22 Comments

Wait, Woody, no! The rings!

Right around Thanksgiving, Jennifer Love Hewitt found herself dumped by Jarod Einsohn most likely after hearing him saying something along the lines of, “Please stop trying to hide an engagement ring in the stuffing, you goddamn insane cling-monster.” Except that was before she read “Why Men Love Bitches” which clearly unlocked the secret potentials of her womanhood from within because here she is with Jarod at Disney On Ice last night. So either this was the most clever marketing campaign in the history of publishing or someone was offered another chance to see a pair of huge awesome breasts naked and remembered he still has that map of escape routes from Jennifer Love Hewitt’s house. It’s a toss-up.

Photos: Fame, National Photo Group, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. She’s always been cute, but she has some whack feet.

    No lie.

    • JC

      Only a problem if you’re getting a foot job from her. Even then, I’m more than happy to overlook whack feet if she’s topless.

      I’m a sensitive guy that way.

  2. Jennifer Love Hewitt Jarod Einsohn Disney On Ice
    Comedy Puppet
    Commented on this photo:

    Jennifer Love Hewtt has the biggest Woody I’ve ever seen!

  3. Jennifer Love Hewitt Jarod Einsohn Disney On Ice
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “Pssst….there’s a ring in there for you, Marine, if you’re man enough to step up. C’mon, Semper Fi!”

  4. TheSledMan

    There’s no way that guy is straight.

  5. EricLr

    Turns out that all she needed was a self-help book to confirm her suspicions that it was all his fault and that’s she’s perfect and did nothing wrong. Now that she understands that she doesn’t need to change at all and, in fact, needs to celebrate herself even more, great things are GOING to come her way!

  6. Jennifer Love Hewitt Jarod Einsohn Disney On Ice
    Laurita
    Commented on this photo:

    they look like a happier couple to me

  7. Jennifer Love Hewitt Jarod Einsohn Disney On Ice
    KC
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t wait to hear what Woody says when he sees the vagazzling.

  8. That Bastard Tony

    One day someone is going to explain to Jen that if she would focus less on getting married and more on the fruits of being single, she would be happy. Marriage that works (for more than 2 years at least) usually result from relationships that were allowed to happen naturally, not by force.

  9. JLH has got to have some serious issues. She is hot; could be hotter like before if she dropped a few pounds. Why the hell does she date dork douches?

  10. Beefarino

    That guy wouldn’t know a boob if it hit him in the face and I’m sure with JLH he has been hit many times.

  11. It's Obvious

    He likes ass play

  12. Schmidtler

    Has anyone told JLH that Sinead O’Connor got married? Yep, shaved head, fat ass, gross face, giant technicolor mural of Jesus right on her chest, batshit crazy, and MARRIED!! Connect the dots here Jennifer – toss the bitch book, start wearing a shirt that says you’ll take it in the corn chute, and those wedding bells will be ringing baby!

  13. Jennifer Love Hewitt Jarod Einsohn Disney On Ice
    sooooooosuperficial
    Commented on this photo:

    This is exactly why 30 something women shouldn’t date 27 yo boys. Unless they enjoy frat pranks like pantsing in public.

  14. Jiminy Cryptic

    That’s the Subway sandwich dude, right?

  15. for realz

    If you put a paper bag over her head, you wouldn’t know if you were looking at JLH or a pregnant Hilary Duff.

  16. Vick Nanas

    Jarod Einsohn??? Um, does anybody remember the classic Martin & Lewis radio shows from the golden age of radio? (Do a search, you can download for free a bunch of their absolutely excellent radio shows!) Well, at every show, Jerry Lewis would ask this question, and ask it at the ‘right’ time, which made the question quite funny everytime.
    It is that question that I ask lovely Miss Hewitt with all sincerity.
    Jarod Einsohn —–> Hey Jennifer. ARE YOU FOR REAL???

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