Jennifer Love Hewitt is Single

May 4th, 2011 // 73 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

The headline here might as well have been Jennifer Love Hewitt and The Foregone Conclusion because ever since she revealed the generosity of her love by desperately begging for an engagement “doing a guy a favor” and pre-selecting three rings for him to choose from, this story basically wrote itself and sat around waiting. Us Weekly reports on the break-up:

After nearly a year together, Jennifer Love Hewitt has parted ways with beau Alex Beh, her rep confirms to Us Weekly. They haven’t been dating for a little while,” the rep adds.

The interesting thing here is that the news of their break-up has been withheld for some reason and I’d have to speculate that it was to wait for the above photo set to come out as it is literally the first time in months that she hasn’t been seen wearing some type of window dressing disguised as a muumuu. “Honey, we gotta go, the movie starts in 15 min– Aren’t those the drapes from the dining room?” “I don’t have a purse big enough to hide this ham.”

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Getty, Splash News

The Superficial is in Vacation Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Monday, May 9.

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  1. horn dog

    I volunteer to be her human sybian in the meantime.

  2. Imagine the sound it would make if her ass slapped up against Kim Kardashian’s ass. The shockwave alone would level buildings. If you live in SoCal, best get your house bolted.

  3. Her armpit clit is calling you.

    Armclit?

  4. Deacon Jones

    I wonder if she gives armjobs.

  5. Jennifer Love Hewitt Single
    Codot
    Commented on this photo:

    Does her armpit have a clitoris?

    • dangermike

      People on this site mock her relentlessly for having put on a few pounds but that armpit is proof positive that the slight bit of extra weight means she has more vaginas than you’d ever possibly know what to do with.

  6. oj

    This is no surprise based on the most recent photos of her. I always liked her but now she seems to have adopted the twinkies and pepsi diet.

  7. jumpin_j

    Nope, didn’t see this one coming. Uh-uh.

  8. Any Guy

    FATTY FATTY BOOM BOOM.

  9. LJ

    Looks like a girl who’s replacing junk food for sex. The perfect time to move in for rebound sex.

    Hey, Jen……give me a shout!

  10. body fat %

    Involved in love triangle with Ben & Jerry

  11. She is 3 times the woman Audrey Hepburn ever was….

  12. i wouldn’t even eat this bitches ass. that’s saying alot…

  13. Mike Nike

    Shes a sweet girl. I would totally Marry her.

  14. bibi

    “Jennifer Love Hewitt is single.”
    How is this ‘news’?

  15. King Ding-a-ling

    Hahaha, who added in the tittie twinkle.

  16. When do I get my turn to date her?

  17. horny pig

    I would nod my head and say yes dear all the time, just so I could motorboat those tittys and vag..

  18. Jennifer Love Hewitt Single
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    I HOPE THE LADY BEHIND HER HAS A PANORAMIC LENS!

  19. Donald Trump

    She needs to put on a apron and stay in the kitchen. She’s past her prime. Maybe she can get the garbage man to bang her now.

  20. Jennifer Love Hewitt Single
    jlover
    Commented on this photo:

    i dont care what anyone says i would take that crazy in a minute

  21. jlover

    I would take her crazy any day!

  22. The Jennifer Love Hewitt (Desperatis Fattius) finds comfort in her Boyfriend Pillow & copius amounts of ice cream. The next day, she begins preying on her next victim. This mating ritual consists of spying on men in trees outside their bedroom window & morphing their photos to see how their baby will look. After finding a suitable mate, she sneaks a lock of his hair to make a voodoo love spell. Once he has shown even the tiniest amount of interest, she changes her Facebook Status to ‘Engaged’ & starts planning the wedding. The man, scared shitless of The Jennifer Love Hewitt flees for his life, leaving her once again, single.

  23. sc4play

    Guess the vagazzling got old. Might have started a rash or something.

  24. I’m sure getting dumped had nothing to do with equal parts batshit crazy and the ever increasing size of her ass. Actually, I guess that’s not eq

  25. Jennifer Love Hewitt Single
    Dr. Hufurrrrr
    Commented on this photo:

    JLH: “Does this dress make my butt look big?”
    Everyone with eyes: “No, your ass doesn’t need any help to look big.”

  26. Arzach

    Does she payed for the announcement that she’s single?
    Maybe that’s a good thing , and that makes her to go back in shape so we can stare at her boobs with delight again not with disgust as right now.

  27. CHN

    I had a crush on her boobs for years. Can anyone set me up with them?

  28. halfpintkilla

    her man is in the wrong boat. mayday! mayday!

  29. When you realize that the great love of your life, the one that got away, is Jamie Kennedy…that’s got to be a bad day.

  30. hmmm....

    Something is wrong with her face in these pictures. I can’t put my finger on it, but threre’s definitely something not right here (bad plasitc surgery?). What I can say definitely is that dress DOES make her look fat.

  31. Raymond Siste

    I just want to see her tits before they become fake ones or sag beyond even being photographed.

  32. Sugar

    She isn’t even old and hasn’t had kids so why is she so saggy and flabby?

  33. her next boyfriend will be a Marvel comics artist.

  34. Who’s lonelier, her or Jennifer Anniston?

  35. Hit that
    spank it
    turn it
    twist it
    lick it
    smack it
    grind it
    beat it
    flip it
    press it
    squeeze it
    do it!

    • cricket

      Wait lemme guess…those are the lyrics to the new Black Eyed Peas song?? No, wait. Katy Perry’s new song??? No, no…it’s Britney’s? Wait…Rebecca Black??

  36. terry

    That bitch is a complicated hoe!
    I went on wikipedia and counted 9 damn guys she’s been with and ended a relationship with starting with MTV’s Carson Daly.
    She thinks that she can ‘PROGRAM” a so-called perfect relationship. But honey fantasy and reality don’t mix. Unless you’re on Wall Street.
    She’s going to end up a big ass MILF doing Lifetime movies.

  37. Artofwar

    ….I blame Jennifer Love’s inability to keep a man on (E.C.V.H).– Extreme Chronic Vaginal Halitosis– that’s got to be it……Artofwar

  38. Jennifer Love Hewitt Single
    cocoa j
    Commented on this photo:

    uh what are uhhh what are you doing?

  39. Mr Obvious

    How crazy is she when she can’t even keep some no-name actor from leaving her? Here’s his IMDB page: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2438954/

    Most of his credits are short films.

    Her tits should have been good enough to keep most men around for at least a year. Given that he’s trying to make it big in Hollywood means that he should have been with her for another year or two. The fact that he broke up with her before one year means that she’s the kind of crazy that will kill your pet, make sausage with the meat, serve it to you, and then say “don’t you just LOVE my special recipe” while smiling like the Joker.

    Even I wouldn’t do her because she’s just too bat-shit insane. Been there, don’t want to go back there.

  40. KNOBGOBBLER3

    And?

  41. Mark R

    tick. tock. tick. tock. tick…

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  44. tlmck

    Her boyfriend must have seen her recent shopping photos.

  45. Jennifer Love Hewitt Single
    lauryn
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like a pig tied up with a bow and sparky things

  46. the captain

    when the mind says NO……….
    …………but the heart says GO, you got a problem.

    SO WHAT?

  47. Jennifer Love Hewitt Single
    Abby
    Commented on this photo:

    Clit in the Pit.

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  49. Dank

    What the hell is up with her armpit?

  50. Jennifer Love Hewitt Single
    Christine
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve never noticed her weird ears before :o

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