Jennifer Love Hewitt in a Bikini

January 3rd, 2011 // 103 Comments

Knowing full well I’ll fall for it because Kryptonites are my breast, Jennifer Love Hewitt shoved her Pillsbury-esque torso in front of the paparazzi over the weekend in what I assume is an obvious effort to get herself back on the tabloid circuit saying women should embrace their bodies while simultaneously shrinking hers back down to a desirable weight so she doesn’t die alone. Talk about the oldest trick in the book. Mary Magdalene was using it on Jesus before we were even a twinkle in his dinosaur’s eyes.

MARY: You think I’m fat, don’t you?
JESUS: Nah, nah, baby girl. I just don’t want people knowin’ about us, that’s all. Keeps it roman- Shit, it’s Judas. Hide!
MARY: Hide?! Where?
JESUS: *turns her into a broomstick*
MARY: So, this is how you want me to look? After I gave you a sandal job? Mothafucka…

Photos: Mavrix


  1. She’s definitely the hottest Keebler elf to leave the tree.

  2. mcfeely smackup

    Cellulite on her ribcage…I didn’t even know that was possible!

  3. Jennifer Love Hewitt Bikini
    Jamie Kennedy
    Commented on this photo:

    Fine. She can go around wearing a no-support bikini top and couple heads of iceberg for a skirt but for God’s sake, would it kill her to put some make-up on that 33 year old face?

  4. sara

    I think you mean Joseph

  5. kollen

    she looks older than 40 in this pic

  6. Jennifer Love Hewitt Bikini
    Jon Hex
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what Punky Brewster is supposed to look like. Damn you, science!

  7. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    Now I don’t know crap about the evil called religion but isn’t Mary Jesus’ MOTHER? Fish, you sick?

  8. James

    I think Jennifer looks great. I don’t think she’s overweight at all. I think her body looks awesome.

  9. Johnny Cage

    What the…I thought you guys would be happy.

  10. Jennifer Love Hewitt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Was she the celebrity host on one of those “Cougar Cruises”?

  11. Dave

    I just wonder what all you people with nothing good to say about JLH look like

    • I look like a fat, lazy bastard who’s losing his hair. That said, I (luckily) earn my living based on my intellect and skillset, not my appearance.

      To that end, I keep working on my intellect and skillset so that I can keep making a living. Likewise, if she would like to continue to make a living, she should work on her appearance.

      Simple, no?

  12. tone

    LMAO I bet Christina Hendricks looks way WAY worse and fatter than this under her corset, which is why we never see her without it,

  13. cc

    Remember how great her ass was in ‘Fear’? Oh shit, that was Alyssa Milano. Never mind.

  14. Holy Hula Hoops Batman !!! Is that the Ghost Wisperer in Paradise ?
    I’d be smiling too, if I were in Hawaii in the Winter. This lady & Alyssa
    Milano must be good souls…Helping to serve mission people on Xmas
    Yeah, oh yeah.

  15. Jennifer Love Hewitt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow y’all are cruel ! I can only imagine though if you had her in bed like most men you wouldn’t kick her out without hittin it first. I don’t think she looks bad. She is still attractive to me.

  16. Curses

    Dear god, it’s like that Aphex Twin ‘shop came to life.

  17. Jennifer Love Hewitt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Proactiv isn’t working out as well as she claimed.

  18. Jennifer Love Hewitt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I the only person who thinks she looks fine? I mean, she’s just squinting in the first picture and she looks pretty normal in the rest. Her stomach looks pretty normal to me as well. Sure, she’s famous, but I don’t think she looks bad by any stretch of the imagination.

    • philip

      You’re probably not the only person but definitely in a tiny minority. She looks like ass really. Lumpy, pasty, contorted and clowny… But to be fair this is in comparison with the hottie that she used to be. In person she’s still probably better looking than most of the fat pig houswives of America… but that’s a pretty low bar. Most women become less attractive after 25. Through 30 it gets worse. By 35 they’re mostly disgusting. I don’t know how old Jennifer is but she’s merely less attractive at this point. No longer worthy of a look back over the shoulder… because you’d miss her tits anyway.

      • Mark

        ‘philip’ I love the way you think!! She’s not long turned 30 and to be quite honest, she’s very ordinary. If she didn’t have coin she’d struggle to get a bloke. Feck, she was with Jamie Kennedy ‘n had to get him a job on Ghost Whisperer??? Maybe she should spend some of that money on a treadmill and get those ears and that nose fixed!!!!

  19. Jennifer Love Hewitt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:


  20. Jennifer Love Hewitt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Cute girl for her age, but not close to perfection. She used to be pretty hot. Now, she’s fighting the battle.

  21. Jennifer Love Hewitt Bikini
    Tyler Perry
    Commented on this photo:

    That woman to her left must be her mom…and exactly what she’ll look like in 20 years. Sagilicious!

  22. Jennifer Love Hewitt Bikini
    Tyler Perry
    Commented on this photo:

    No, no…quit pulling that down! The people demand underboob

  23. Jennifer Love Hewitt Bikini
    Tyler Perry
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s with the quintessential 80′s movie tool?

  24. Charlotte Corday

    There is no excuse for her to look like this.

  25. Melchor

    OMG Fish, that was hilarious! xD


    You are all full of shit!!!! For the men responding, I am sure your cocks are so small and lousy that these is how you spend your time. Wow, I feel really bad for you guys criticizing others to feel better about your own self… To the women, you are all a pack of losers. I am sure none of you are perfect so please go work your fat asses at the gym and stop sitting and attacking people that are not superficial and FULL OF SHIT like all of you…

    • kollen

      well, i consider myself as perfect. so your statement is totally wrong. i guess you’re a fatty yourself.

      now the last thing i wanna say: FUCK U!

  27. joe

    She is photographed with her shirt off… and looks O.K. I can never take my shirt off in public . I am too fat and don’t look O.K. So, I guess I got nothing to say about someone that can and does have an O.K. body. Fat, bald, old men (like me) should shut up about women they could never get and who look better than they ever will.

  28. Jennifer Love Hewitt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    denis leary with a nice set of tits.

  29. Jennifer Love Hewitt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    o tittless

  30. Bags and Accessories

    I’ve been searching everywhere for info on this topic. Cheers!

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