Jennifer Love Hewitt Is A Woman Apparently

February 6th, 2013 // 47 Comments
Jennifer Love Hewitt Im A Woman Video
WATCH: Jennifer Love Hewitt - 'I'm A Woman'

I know absolutely nothing about The Client List except that it involves Jennifer Love Hewitt giving dudes handjobs, so I guess you could say I know absolutely everything you could possibly ever want or need to know about it. And now I know that she apparently makes music videos for it where she swings her breasts around and doesn’t jump out of the screen at the end to make me choose one of three pre-selected engagement rings which I was ready for. *cocks gun* And still am…

superficial

  1. OGFU

    Cringe!

    • Randal

      Cringe from pure beauty is more like it!

      Our Party of Five crush has been a woman for many years now, from whispering in our ears about ghosts, to knowing exactly what we did last summer, Jennifer lights the fire when she walks!

      And her voice! Powerful. Look out Lady GaGa, there’s a new woman in town!

      Randal

  2. I’d hit it. She should stop singing, however.

  3. Homoerectus Maximus

    This song is douche chill inducing, but when she is on the right end of her yo-yo diet, this nutty broad makes me tingle

  4. Juch

    The lack of full-on ass shots in the video makes my penis suspicious, but on the other hand, b00bs. And why would anybody watch this with the sound on?

  5. ALLCAPSJACKASS

    SOMETIMES GOD SHINES ON US AND MAKES US HAPPY. SOMETIMES GOD SLIPS US A PLEASURE AND THIS IS ONE. SOMETIMES GOD WANTS TO SEE WHO FAPS TO ONLINE VIDEOS. SOMETIMES GOD DOES WIERDED SHIT

  6. I gotta be honest, I would gladly die burying either my face or penis in that thing…

  7. Bonky

    She got too skinny. She is dead to me now.

  8. bonerspunk

    Stop singing and make me a sammich woman!

  9. I still can’t help but believe there’s some incredibly serious and f’d up shit wrong with this chick – she’s decent looking, huge rack, probably has some cash & a good paying job, and is desperate to get married – and somehow, she can’t keep a guy around for hardly any time at all. Serial killers and rapists have pen pals and broads marry them all the time, even freaky Sinead O’Connor found herself a husband pretty fast – so is JLH really several degrees past Sinead O’Connor on the freakjob scale? JLH- it’s time to start advertising you’re into anal, it may be your last shot!

    • Bernard Goldbloom

      You have an interesting point . Ugly , fat girls can get a man and push him onto the altar .
      This girl must be batshit crazy or such an unrelenting pain in the ass that no one can hang long enough for the love potion to work

      • Deacon Jones

        I’m going to go with “annoying pain in the ass”.

        I’ve known plenty of male gold diggers. But hell, if a chick is straight up obnoxious or clingy as hell, you can only fake it so long before you’re like fuck this.

      • ALLCAPSJACKASS

        UGLY AND FAT CAN BE RELATED BUT THEY IS UGLY CHICKS WHO NOT FAT AND FAT CHICKS THAT BE POUND WORTHY

      • Fuck off, Kanye.

    • bonerspunk

      I’m guessing she doesn’t swallow

    • hmmm

      I dont see the ‘huge rack” in that black number she looks like Cs tops

    • rico

      She’s 34 years old and has been working alost non-stop since she was 10 years old. Even if her parents stole all the money she made before she turned 18, she’s done a ton of TV and movies since then. She’s got to have some serious bucks. She must be a true headcase if she can’t keep a guy. Maybe like Jennifer Aniston whack -job crazy.

  10. USDA Prime McBeef

    would note all possible escape routes, then bang.

  11. richie

    sorry haters, she looked pretty good!

  12. MEDAMNIT

    SHE IS HOT!!!!!!

  13. Cock Dr

    Never underestimate the power of a good bra and talented application of smokey eye shadow..
    Now stop singing and stick to swinging hair and shaking ass.

  14. IAmAGuest

    Hey! She has asked us time and time again to stop focusing on her body. It’s absolutely not fair and… wait, I’m getting something now…

    Nope. She’s lost weight so she’s fine with it. Continue ogling.

  15. She looked damn good. Just when you think she’s lost it, she comes roaring back with the sexy on full blast. Keep it up, JLH.

  16. jim

    So this is an underwears commercial or what!?

  17. ehh…….not enough to get me to watch Lifetime. Jennifer, get this to a “R” rating then give me a call.

  18. That Bastard Tony

    I’m still in shock that she hasn’t shown us her tits yet. Hell, even Neve Campbell eventually said “f@ck it” and showed us the cans. Could this be a sign of J Love’s lack of generosity?

  19. karlito

    best she’s looked since she did ” i saw what you did last summer” when she was young and hot and her but didn’t look so big.

  20. gigi

    well done w/ the editing & strategically placed fringes master stylist & production staff

  21. She is attractive, has great boobs and an ass and is in underwear. Is there really anything to complain about here?

  22. tlmck

    Auto-tune fail.

  23. Bane

    The song and her singing suck out loud.

    But I would still knock the bottom out that before it hit the floor.

    Great boobs.

  24. Yawn

    Looks like she’s finally embraced the powers of coke.

  25. anonymous

    WTF is up with her boobs? They are big one minute and tiny the next? I guess they’ve finally deflated and pancaked.

  26. This chick has hit a new low. She also looked ignorant as fuck.
    I guess she’s trying to get stage producers to take notice.
    Um, I don’t know about that but I do know some primps from the hood who’d hire her in a minute!

  27. I would say don’t give up your day job, but don’t you have to have one first?

  28. Shemp

    Yep, things move pretty quick in that video: I was honestly getting kinda disoriented what with all the cut shots jumping around in there. Clearly, they’re trying to hide something. That having been said, I’m a big fan of JLH. Clearly, she’s not “perfect” in the way that some thirtysomethings are expected to be perfect nowadays. She’s big in all the right places, in my opinion. Sometimes she’s a little (or even way) too big in those right places. Nothing wrong with THAT, either. I’d much rather have JLH’s occasionally fat legs and ass bumping and grinding in my face, or Beyonce’s fat legs and ass jiggling around in “Put a Ring on It”, over some of the skinny, wire-y, vein-y, bruce-lee-armed hags we’re told are the collective epitomes of feminine beauty. JLH overweight and squeezed into (and hanging out of) one of her multitudinous “Spanx” dresses is infinitely hotter than any member of the pilates and bikram yoga H-wood boney clam crowd…

  29. Ornky

    She is probably just unbearable to be around and terrible in bed. Irritating and delusional at the core.

  30. mike

    When she tries to do the Beyonce shit, that could make Paul Ryan and Reese Witherspoon square dancing look funky. Is it possible to die of white?

  31. Shemp

    At right around :45, her upper leg and ass jiggles like jello as she’s laying on her back. Gorgeous. Yes, the dancing is embarrassingly forced and unnatural. But I think she’s a honey. If she could just learn to relax, hang out, watch tv and play video games, I wouldn’t think she’d have any trouble finding a beau. She must be wound a bit too tight, I’m guessing. She just needs to get high…

    • jack sprat

      Nah, she’s all right. She’s made the mistake of hunting in a land of male narcissists, every single one of whom needs validation from their women at any odd moment. This one will come when it’s time, but only after pretending that she didn’t see the signal. That’s cool. Kittens need loving, too, and this girl is as adorably klutzy as any I’ve ever seen. Well worth a perpetual round of games, especially since hers wouldn’t be the power variety.

  32. Scott

    One tat I would love to se.

  33. Jrook

    Do you think she realizes how sad and pathetic she really is.

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