Jennifer Love Hewitt Is Freezing Her Eggs, Probably Not A Bad Idea

March 15th, 2013 // 36 Comments
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Jennifer Love Hewitt is an attractive woman with phenomenal breasts that may or may not be worth $5 million, yet somehow she’s crazy enough that men apparently won’t ejaculate into her vagina without a condom on. So ever the eternal optimist, she’s now contemplating freezing her eggs in hopes that she’ll.. reverse age and not be 40 soon? Us Weekly reports:

The unlucky-in-love actress — whose exes include John Mayer, Patrick Wilson, Carson Daly, Jamie Kennedy, Alex Beh, Wilmer Valderrama and ex-fiance Ross McCall — “feels worried that she will end up single, since none of her relationships have been successful,” the source continues.
Hewitt merely wants to have options, the source adds, saying, “If it doesn’t work out with Brian, she can still be a mom one day.”
The actress hasn’t exactly been quiet about her quest to become a parent. “I would love to have babies. I’m obsessed with babies,” Hewitt told Us in 2010. “I would love to have them one day.”

Holy shit, she’s doing this while dating somebody? I can’t imagine why he hasn’t popped the question.

“Hey, honey, could you c’mere for a sec- oh, never mind, I see your ovulating into the freezer.” *flushes ring down the toilet*

Then again, I guess I should give Jennifer Love Hewitt credit for not poking holes in condoms or “forgetting” to take her pill unless he’s reading this right now going, “Wait. You can do that?!” In which case, haha, I’m joking! Everyone knows babies only come from motorboating bloggers then not harvesting their semen in their sleep.

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN


  1. JC

    “I should have warned that poor guy not to touch his tongue to my frozen vajazzles. It feels weird having that bit of dead tongue in my pants.”

    • Randal

      My dear Jennifer, in case you haven’t heard, forty is the new thirty, so you’re doing just fine. A lot of women want to focus on their career, and as a high paid and desired actress, you’ve had to do that. Certain sacrifices must be made when one’s in Hollywood.

      There’s far too many women getting themselves pregnant when they clearly shouldn’t be, so saving your eggs for later will help from adding to an already over populated world.


      • I always picture Randal typing out these celebrity love letters in glittery ass rinestone encrusted Liberace outfits, daintly clackety clacking on a hot pink keyboard LOVE you Randy ;*

      • thespiral

        Agreed. Randal puts every other troll on the internet to shame with his long years of dedication. Can we give him an award?

  2. One of my ex’s was secretly flushing her birth control down the toilet for months…..she was A NUT (but awesome in bed).

    She came into the bedroom one morning and goes “I got my period….I….don’t think….I CAN EVER GET PREGNANT!!!!” then collapses on the bed and proceeds to sob uncontrollably.

    I then go “Well, you ARE on the pill, so shouldnt you be *happy* you got your period?!”

    The top half of her eyes peered up over her forearm, as she silently sobbed up and down, looking at me. It was right THERE that my blood ran cold me fear/realization of what she was doing….

    I dumped her a week later, lol

  3. Something has to be seriously wrong with her if she can’t find a man to dump a load into her, as hot as she is. Some self-realization goes a long way, Jennifer.

  4. I’d bang the holy fuck out of her and then haul ass as if my life dependent on it.

  5. Jennifer Love Hewitt Bra See Through Shirt The Client List
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:


  6. An ode to Jennifer Love Hewitt (perhaps Randal is this guy Chad):

  7. Her ex Rich Cronin from LFO was interviewed on Howard Stern. He said she was a nut bag. She goes to tiffanys and buys these rings ( multiples) and she gives thme to her boyfriends and she tells them when she gives them the ring that she loves him so much and they will be together forever …Cronin claims that she cheated on him even though she gave him an “infinity ring” and said she wanted to marry him. She is coo coo…

  8. She’s freezing her eggs? What a coincidence, her face freezes my nads.

  9. whatthe

    I can’t imagine looking at that bitch and thinking, “I want to mingle my genes with that.” I don’t find her attractive, she’s obviously psycho, and she’s probably not very intelligent. Why would any guy want to have a child with her? She could always go to the sperm bank.

    • Mike

      “Why would any guy want to have a child with her?”

      My first thought is that doing so would make you ridiculously wealthy for life. I know there’s more to life than money, but I’d probably forget what else in life there was while I was busy spending her cash.

  10. Mrs. Butterworth's Syrup

    I’m quite sure that the next dude that blows his load on her tats will soon find out she’s with child and he’ll wonder how that could happen

  11. SLiver

    These are not things youy EVER say in earshot of a man. Der.

  12. Derek

    Freezing her eggs for when hell freezes over?

  13. Richard Richard

    WAIT…didn’t this woman write a book on DATING??? I seem to remember the media hooplah about it only a couple years back. She’s an expert on dating and yet she’s freezing her eggs?

  14. Agree that this woman reeks eau de desperate ho but her list of exes is a who’s who of celebrity douche bags, damn. And pretty much every woman I know who chases douchebags is a she-douche as well, so yeah, birds of a feather & all that sublime shit.

  15. Jennifer Love Hewitt freezing her eggs? How fortunate. Just in time for Easter.

  16. cc

    I’d like to freeze her boobs…then thaw them out.

  17. hewitt was never attractive. she has always had a weird, elven shaped head and piano legs.
    maxim named hohan the hottest babe not more than 3-4 years ago i swear and she has always been ugly.
    they have some of the worst taste in broads.

  18. Jennifer Love Hewitt Bra See Through Shirt The Client List
    Commented on this photo:

    JLH stop the teasing and show them tittes! You know YOU love them and WE love them too!

  19. Jennifer Love Hewitt Bra See Through Shirt The Client List
    Commented on this photo:

    She has chosen to age gracefully…applause JLove! And get on the cover of something soon please

  20. The problem she’s having is simple: She’s holding out for some dude with a Hollywood pedigree. If she were open to the idea of making kick ass babies with a Brooklyn cop, my services would be available to her.

  21. Jennifer Love Hewitt Bra See Through Shirt The Client List
    Commented on this photo:

    I..just want to fuck time…I’ll be on her “client list”…..

  22. She’s freezing her eggs? So that means she’s keeping her eggs in Jennifer Aniston’s uterus now?.

  23. Is she freezing them in order to have them as an omelet later?

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