Jennifer Love Hewitt Can Die Now

November 27th, 2013 // 16 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

US Weekly is reporting that Jennifer Love Hewitt not only gave birth, but also secretly married her The Client List co-star Brian Hallisay, thus removing any further reason for her to continue living.

JLH Diary – Final Entry

It finally happened. All my years of carefully making my breasts the sole focal point of my body and slipping my three pre-selected engagement rings into the foods and beverages of male suitors has paid off. Brian, my new hubby (I’VE WAITED SO LONG TO SAY THAT!!!), though incapable of speech or movement from his self-inflicted gunshot to the head, is a man any girl could only dream of. And our new baby girl, named Autumn after the season when her life will be sacrificed by the witch whose spell made this all possible, is healthy, happy, and a visible reminder to everyone who thought marrying me could easily be escaped by death. Brain dead does not equal unmilkable prostate. So, I win, life, and as soon as these pills send me to my eternal wedding ceremony inside the maternity ward of a princess castle, you won’t be able to hurt me ever again.

Photos: Photo: Fame/Flynet, Lifetime

superficial

  1. I’d like to take this moment to pour one out to JLH’s hotness that tragically died today. You will be missed.

    JLH’s hotness 1996-2013.

  2. Jennifer Love Hewitt Breasts Cleavage Lingerie The Client List
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Good luck with that.

  3. Leylapants

    She´s 34 and already has grey roots?? She looks like Ozzy ozbourne in that picture o.0

    • The 30′s are a time of painful realizations. Gray hairs are minor one.

      • Leylapants

        Umm..I´m 35 and I´ve yet to dye my hair for the first time..no grey hairs yet.
        BUT – If I did start to get roots like that, you can bet your back teeth I´d be getting them covered! Yes, you can dye your hair when pregnant Jennifer hun.

      • Kardashians

        Photoshop is a 30+ yearolds Bestfriend for LIFE

  4. Jennifer Love Hewitt Breasts Cleavage Lingerie The Client List
    Commented on this photo:

    Gotta admit, I’ve had that fantasy. JLH’s tits are/were quite fap worthy.

  5. Dox

    I never realized just how much makeup can affect a woman’s appearance until I saw that picture.

    Holy shit, that’s hideous.

  6. Now begins the classic struggle of baby and husband for JLH massive pregnant boobs.

  7. mike

    “brain-dead does not equal unmilkable prostate”

    Thanks. Thanks for that.

  8. Yeah, I’m not interested in seeing that beast giving handjobs. She has no more purpose.

  9. Jennifer Love Hewitt Breasts Cleavage Lingerie The Client List
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d still like to motorboat her tits and pound her in the ass.

  10. I should wear my zipper at half mask for the passing of my fantasy boobs into irrelevance. It’s a crime that JLH didn’t lets those breasts out for all of us to see.

  11. Jennifer Love Hewitt Breasts Cleavage Lingerie The Client List
    martina
    Commented on this photo:

    {{{sigh}}}
    mmmmmmmmmm

  12. y.christ

    Irritating attention whore. I really wish she was dead

  13. bryan

    Was she able to give birth while “vagazeled”, or did she have a c-section?

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