Jennifer Love Hewitt Will Only Respond To ‘White Kim Kardashian’ Now

July 28th, 2011 // 122 Comments

“Wait. Should I have pried this door open with a black penis?” Jennifer Love Hewitt found herself thinking aloud. “Or do I let the Wookiee driver open it? God, this is hard, but apparently it’s how you land a husband these day- Hey, you there! Paparazzo. No ass shots. Or I’ll.. I’ll.. sic my mother on you. Yes, that’s how she does it.”

Photo: Fame, Flynet


  1. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:

    Geezus, her left foot is levitating!

  2. Jack Ketch

    She looks good … healthy, in shape, and her ass is real, and she’s super cute.

  3. terry

    GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!! I would do her so fucking hard. Yeah, she has a funny take on relationship but WTF, she’s in Hollywood.

  4. Jack Ketch

    Don’t ruin the post by mentioning that fake, orange and skanky attention whore.

    • Artofwar

      ….Any man that doesn’t want to submerge his cock in the purifying, life affirming juices of Jennifer Love Hewitt’s vagina, is unfortunately, unfathomably, unabashedly gay. Therefore such a man has no purpose and should be shot….Artofwar

      • Well said. I would dehydrate myself in her and pass out still wanting to continue with that sexy woman.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        But the man’s cock will be assaulted by hordes of spikey diamantes and rubirosas and come out more vajazzled than the sequinned snatch itself.
        Would many guys be willing to brave that?

  5. any stuckup hollywood cunt who says no ass shots to a pap deserves the most unflattering shit hitting the iwebs

  6. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:

    I have been in love with her for so long it is had to believe she is only 32.
    Marry Me, Please

  7. See Alice

    OMG What happened to her ?

  8. BigDaddy

    I would rather look at her sweet ass any day.

  9. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:

    Olivia Wilde in a year, maybe two.

  10. Pierre Le Chiffiere


  11. Pierre Le Chiffiere

    Assasaurus maximus

  12. Pierre Le Chiffiere

    Assasaurus maximus giganticus

  13. Unfair. Hewitt actually has played someone other than herself on TV, and (as far as I know) has never been pissed on in a sex video. Or has she? Anyone have a link . . .?

  14. Delgo

    If you’re fapping & you know it, clap your hand!

  15. Dank

    Fish you are so fucking gay if you wouldn’t nail the shit outta that. God damn this girl is hot as fuck.

  16. LJ

    The girl is 32 and has started to have the “mid-thirties” ass spread that many women suffer from.

    KK is only thirty….can you imagine what THAT is going to be like when it starts to spread????

    Green Lantern II?

  17. Lenfant

    I got no problems with dat ass.

  18. vitobonespur

    I see no problematic issues here. Chunky little legs, which is just how I like ‘em. Great tits and a nice round butt. Jeeves, you may serve the Beef Wellington now.

  19. Dufresne

    Yum Yum Give Me Sum!

  20. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:

    JH actually has some acting talent, unlike KK who can’t manage much more than a vapid smile and impersonating a urinal cake.

  21. I wonder how many cats she has…

  22. this reminds me, I need to thaw out some chicken thighs to grill for dinner. Thick, meaty thighs…

    • kimmykimkim

      Don’t forget to marinate them please. I hate tasteless chicken: tastes like chicken.

    • Jam

      Actually, I would prefer if she had MORE of that meaty American thigh ACDC was talking about once. But gotta love that wide ass.

      There’s just one problem. Jamie Kennedy’s magic stick has been in there. Tainted.

  23. Doc

    Its a flattering angle… her ass really isn’t that nice. Or maybe she’s discovered booty pop underwear.

  24. Hugh Gentry

    imagine how huge her lower body would be if she had a kid. She is such a lazy fuck.

    • Carrie

      She’s lazy because she’s not a size 2? I imagine every single one of us on this site qualifies as a lazy fuck then.

      • She’s a “lazy fuck” because her curves make it hard for guys like Hugh to fantasize she’s the 9-year-old boy of their dreams.

  25. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Michelle Pfeiffer on the left?

  26. Venom

    She is looking much better these days.

  27. cc

    She’s broadly similar to Kim K (she’s female, she’s a brunette) but that’s it.

  28. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:


  29. My Left Nut

    In that outfit, I’d do her in a heartbeat.

  30. See Alice

    If she lets that ass stay stretched out for to long it wont snap back when she puts down the ice cream . In fact her ass will look like melted ice cream .

  31. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:


  32. Clarence Beeks

    I think she has terrible legs. Cankly and thick. blech.

    • Ace Rockola

      Do guys named “Clarence” even have credibility? He ended up getting nailed in the ass by a gorilla as I recall.

      She can wrap those legs around my head any day.

    • Ace Rockola

      Coke is better than Pepsi….that’s an opinion.
      Chesseburgers are better than hamburgers,….that’s an opinion.

      Casey Anthony would be a great fuck….that’s a fact.
      Jennifer Love Hewitt is smoking hot by all regards….that’s a fact.
      Neither would give a shitbag shitbag like you the time of day….that’s a fact.

      Did I just compare Casey Anthony to JLH? Eh…

  33. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:

    They are almost identical. Well except Jennifer has talent, natural beauty, didn’t become famous from being peed on, well maybe not so much………

  34. Bo

    I would tongue punch every hole in her body!!

  35. Why is being a chubby ex-celebrity somehow more shameful than having had sex once with either Carson Daly and Jamie Kennedy?

  36. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    adolf hitler
    Commented on this photo:

    someones feelin sexy today. yummy

  37. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    adolf hitler
    Commented on this photo:

    would be so easy to just poke my head up in there and toss her salad

  38. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    adolf hitler
    Commented on this photo:

    i want to eat her vaj

  39. Frank Burns

    Just call her Crisco, ’cause she’s fat in the can! Good god I love that joke. And yes, I will be repeating it here every chance I get.

  40. That Bastard Tony

    Damn Hollywood for forcing so much of its female talent to maintain an unhealthy weight throughout their careers. Real men love curves like these. If J Love had that ass a decade ago, I would have been arrested twice for stalking her.

    What I’m saying here is I want to taste her.

  41. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    NYC I Banker
    Commented on this photo:

    when the rest of the body begins fto fade … they (yesterday’s hot bods) begin to show more leg … their last remianing “halfway decent” asset (but only because they are perched on stripper heals – otherwise they would look chunky munkey)

  42. J

    UGH what is with this REAL WOMAN shit? I’m a size 4 (and a good 30lbs lighter than her), so does that mean I not a REAL WOMAN?! I understand the inappropriateness of calling anybody fat, but I’m so sick of the thin shaming. Overweight does not a “real woman” make.

    • No Kidding

      Women can look great in many sizes. Jennifer Love Hewitt is not overweight though and she has an endearingly wholesome quality while still managing to be sexy. I mean look at that smile, it says it all. If you were a guy you would know what I mean. The beautiful, sweet, sincere look on her face says she is the perfect wife/mother that most of us look for in a mate. It’s just natural to be drawn to her type. Society determines what is considered normal, and these ideals are rarely based on reason. But it does not mean that you are unattractive.

  43. J

    ^ With that said, I think she looks great. Her body is lovely. But a size 10 isn’t the only thing that makes a woman “real.” Please.

  44. Laishram Amarjit Meitei

    Garighura dhore je chore bole mar khay se.

  45. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:

    So Armenians aren’t caucasians now?
    This is almost WASP…

  46. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow…I never understand the haters. JLH is hands down one of the hottest out there – yummy!

  47. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:

    She is sooooo hot…..

  48. DamnFoolMan

    Its women like this that make me wish I’d won that £160m in the lottery…

  49. Kaywoodie Sucker

    not a fucking thing wrong with that.

  50. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s so pretty

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