Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Imagination Already Skipped To The Part Where Adam Levine Rejects Her

Last week, Jennifer Love Hewitt informed the entire studio audience of The Ellen DeGeneres Show that she’s working on an elaborate system of traps to ensnare Adam Levine because she’s lonely and it’s sometimes nice to talk to people so she gets carried away. Anyway, she’s since realized this will make Adam less likely to sign for a Jennifer Love Hewitt-shaped package, so now she’s trying to pretend she’s capable of shame. Via Us Weekly:

“Everybody is talking about it and Adam Levine will probably never speak to me,” the actress said during a radio interview with Texas DJ Bobby Bones Friday. “I feel like I should write him an apology letter on Twitter or something just to say I’m so sorry.”

Yes, because if there’s one thing men respond to, it’s long, crazy screeds on social networks. I’m engorged with emotion just thinking about it. On that note, I love how Jennifer Love Hewitt thinks this whole situation is the reason Adam Levine will never speak to her and not, oh I dunno, the three pre-selected engagement rings she carries in her purse after swabbing herself with vanilla extract. [Note: This is an actual quote.]:

“I carry McCormick’s Pure Vanilla [in my purse] — the baking kind — and dab it on my neck,” she tells Us Weekly. “Men are attracted to the scent! One time, I put it on and four different guys were like, ‘You smell amazing!'”

Why do I get the feeling Jennifer Love Hewitt left out the part she was at McDonald’s (by herself) and all four of these dudes were morbidly obese. “Men are just so attracted to my scent! Sometimes they even throw sprinkles at me then chase me around on their scooters while waving a spoon. You should really try it, girls!”

Photos: GSI Media