Jennifer Lopez’s Ass, Anyone?

July 14th, 2010 // 93 Comments

Here’s Jennifer Lopez on a photo shoot in Malibu with her family yesterday and apparently she should’ve worn a longer blouse because, KERPOW, J-Ass! Except that KERPOW was a little unnecessary because this is absolutely nothing like I imagined it. I always assumed seeing the J-Butt would be more like seeing Jesus’ face and less like a reminder that death comes for everyone but first it’s gonna ruin your awesome parts. On that note, I’m going to run the opposite direction of the Earth’s rotation until I’m not 30 anymore or my penis stops looking like an old man’s face. Adieu.

Photos: Splash News


  1. That’s one nasty rotten seaweed-ridden beach. And I’m probably Big Gay Al for noticing.
    Or… actually, WTF Mrs. Esqueletor? Why didn’t you pull this kind of shit in your Money Train years? I mean, Brigitte Bardot used to be hot too, but damn if I want to see her ass now…!

  2. Kas
    Commented on this photo:

    I see a loving family, having a happy,affectionate day at the beach together. Good for them and God bless them.

  3. Commented on this photo:

    I’d prematurely ejaculate all over that big, jiggly, round jello mound of a posterior.

  4. Mr. BIG BALLS
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d dive-bomb into her crotch in a heartbeat!!!!

  5. carlitos

    Eeewww gross gross gross it looks weird

  6. carlitos
    Commented on this photo:

    why do men find big asses sexy It’s where the Shyts come out

    • Lump bit of Flesh

      Since we are assessing hindquarterstoday I just want to throw up in my mouth a little at these pix and say that I’d do Kim Kardasian doggy anytime, happily over this lump of fat.

  7. It’s not that bad, remember you could be looking at Joan River’s or Rosie O’Donnell ass.

  8. Manufactured corporate talent. Never saw what was sexy about her. It’s like she tried to hard or something to be sexy when she was popular. I always thought she was more annoying than anything.

  9. Commented on this photo:

    Who else thing Marc Anthony is a wife beater? I always thought he looked pissed in public, kinda like Ike Turner pissed. Like, “I’m gonna beat your ass cause they love you more than me” kind of pissed. Who knows but we’ll find out when her career is totally flagged, she’s playing county fairs and releases the book.

  10. Commented on this photo:

    Caption: “Help me with these kids you fucker…or better yet make another hit single or something you I Need To Know banking on mother fucker. Royalty checks stopped for that bitch a long time ago.”

  11. datroof

    I just watched Out Of Sight again recently, and she was so goddam sexy in that movie I was inspired to fap.

    But these pics fucking ruin it. Thanks a fucking lot.

  12. Truthteller

    The antiseptic ability of sunlight to ruin previous images from or minds is amazing!

    Even more amazing though, is what a difference makeup and lighting can make. These stars are worried about HD-TV when they need to worry about how they look in the real world!

  13. Robin

    so her butt is not as big as it used to be, it looks so much better now. She used to have shelf butt, and her waist is smaller too, either her personal trainer and her did a great job, or maybe she got a little lipo. I think it looks better now, as do a lot of my buddies. Either way though, I bet those that criticize couldn’t stand up with j-lo.

  14. jakester
    Commented on this photo:

    That is one ugly butt. And she insured that for 300 million why? Maybe to keep it in check so it doesnt get any bigger.

  15. Charlie Albert
    Commented on this photo:

    You can all talk about the things you see, and your opinions of JayLo, but………….this is one helluva woman.

    If you don’t see this, you are either gay (nothing wrong with that) or too young to appreciate beauty.

    At 72 going on 73 in a few weeks, my eyes remain young, and this is one woman.

    Sorry for those of you that don’t see this yet, but give it time, you will adjust eventually, and see the beauty behond the youth. Giive it time. LOL.

  16. tvy
    Commented on this photo:

    id put my dick in tht

  17. el ramy

    She’s still my dream girl!

  18. limky
    Commented on this photo:

    would still nail that thang

  19. limky
    Commented on this photo:

    might taste good

  20. larry
    Commented on this photo:

    ive got something id like to stick between those cheeks

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