Jennifer Lopez Will Squash That Pesky Webslinger Once and For All

“In every photo like this, there is ALWAYS a black dude in the background, saying it all with his eyes.” – McFeely Smackup

Here’s Jennifer Lopez performing at the KIIS FM’s Wango Tango 2011 and giving Spider-Man one very confused erection. “Do I make love to her or cover her with web-goo before she robs a bank? Think, Spidey, think…” Also, during the show, the audio went completely out while she and her dance crew continued to jump around onstage because you don’t actually think she sings at these things do you? Ahaha! You. Anyway, here’s her reaction despite not a single one of her fans noticing because they bought JLo tickets, so how bright can they be?

“This is what show business is all about, baby. Who’s getting fired tonight? Somebody’s getting fired tonight!”

And by fired she of course meant shanked in the jugular which is exactly what happened.

JLO: *tosses shiv on the floor*
MARC ANTHONY: Baby, can’t we let this one live? He has a family…
JLO: You do what I pay you to do, Skeleton Man.
MARC ANTHONY: Si, mamacita, si.
JLO: Now say my ass is beautiful.
MARC ANTHONY: Like the day we met, mamacita.
JLO: Good. *walks out*
MARC ANTHONY: He-Man no treat me like this. He-man, he a tender man. But, no, “leave Eternia and come with me,” she say. “I love you good,” she say. *spits* Marc Anthony used to be somebody, puta. I rode a panther!

Photo: Getty, Splash News