Jennifer Lopez’s Butthole Is With Her

“Hello! I’d like to ass you a few questions about voter registration.”

Now that that we’re slowly crawling out of the metric shit-ton of celebrity Halloween photos, here’s Jennifer Lopez performing a concert to support Hillary Clinton over the weekend. And while most intelligent people think that Donald Trump’s alleged ties to Russia – or more specifically, a sex tape the KGB used to compromise him that may or may not exist – will cost him the election, I’m going to go ahead and put my money on JLo’s butthole turning the tide. There are people staring into it right now who think Hillary Clinton literally fashioned an email into a shiv and murdered Ben Ghazi with it that are rethinking their vote. Its powers are that strong and dangerous if placed in the wrong hands, which is why Casper Smart should’ve never been allowed to wield it. He just made people think he’s big boy. It’s a mockery.

“Well, you’re a tiny little fella, aren’t you?”
*tilts Jennifer Lopez over*
“Did I say ‘tiny?’ I meant definitely more than four feet tall. What a giant!”

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Photos: FameFlynet