GOLDEN GLOBES: Someone Tell Jennifer Lopez Drivers Aren’t Allowed On The Red Carpet

January 14th, 2013 // 9 Comments

Thanks to being nominated for Argo, a movie he both directed and starred in, Ben Affleck showed up to this year’s Golden Globes with his wife Jennifer Garner whom he’s fathered 18 children with, so naturally Jennifer Lopez had to do something to make it look like she’s not a horrible spinster who can’t even judge American Idol right. And that something was walk the red carpet with her homosexual butler and pretend he’s her boyfriend. Although, in her defense, she originally wanted to wear a “At Least My Man Didn’t Fuck Blake Lively” T-shirt, but decided against it when it made her ass look too small. Stupid polyester blend…

Photos: Getty

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  1. Casper Smart Jennifer Lopez 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    This will go bust in 2013.
    If he plays his cards right he might get another truck out of the deal before she find someone hotter.

  2. Jennifer Lopez 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    When her cellulite is tightened and covered up she looks very good.

  3. Casper Smart Jennifer Lopez 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    “If you act up again, you’ll get a time-out in the back of the limo and no cartoons for two weeks!”

  4. Jennifer Lopez Jessica Alba 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Juch
    Commented on this photo:

    Tip for Ms. Lopez – next time, stand next to Adele.

  5. Jennifer Lopez Jessica Alba 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    This would make a great Before/After ad for some brand of anti-aging cream.

  6. Jennifer Lopez Jessica Alba 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Poop-head
    Commented on this photo:

    Either their heads are too big or their bodies are too small. It’s freaking my shit out.

  7. She seriously brought the help on the red carpet? Wow, that is so sad.

  8. Devilish Diva

    Jennifer Lopez posing next to Jessica Alba proves she’s not 5’6″ and 120 lbs which is what Jennifer claims she is. That is most likely Jessica Alba’s height and weight.

  9. She Stinks!

    JHO Bag looks like a fat old piece of stale pastry. This no class untalented trash is headed right back to obscurity where she belongs.

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