Jennifer Lopez Ditched Marc Anthony

July 18th, 2011 // 65 Comments

If you’re a famewhore celebrity who wants to shamelessly milk the most possible attention out of your big announcement, you wait until Friday 6 PM PST to drop the bomb and watch it devour the entire weekend. Which is, of course, exactly what Jennifer Lopez did to announce her “amicable” split from Marc Anthony right before her people got to work making sure El Senor Anorexicito de Skeletoruego, who’s exactly 1/4th the size of one of her thighs, is portrayed as some sort of control freak because Jennifer Lopez seems like the type of women who takes shit from anyone not named Jennifer Lopez. The Daily Mail reports:

‘This is not a surprise,’ J-Lo’s stylist Phillip Bloch said in an exclusive interview last night.
‘Marc is very controlling. In the beginning she liked that because he stood up to her, and in the early days he was very much in love with her and she was with him.’
But the couple are said to have begun to squabble soon after 41-year-old J-Lo’s mother moved into their Long Island, New York mansion in 2008 to help look after their newborn twins.
‘They also clashed when she learned he owed millions in unpaid taxes on the Long Island estate,’ said film-maker Ed Meyer, an associate of J-Lo’s first husband, Cuban-born club-owner Ojani Noa.
‘The other problem was that they couldn’t agree where to live.
‘J-Lo’s career is in Hollywood and she wanted to live in their Malibu mansion and Marc loved New York. She was going to move to New York in a last-ditch effort to save the marriage. But last Monday I heard it was all over.’

As we speak, the media is already writing breathless post-mortems combing Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez’s marriage with a fine-tooth comb for hints of a divorce – which should be pretty simple considering they spent most of 2008 pretending they weren’t getting one – yet everyone seems to miss the two most obvious reasons:

Marc Anthony looks like Marc Anthony, and Jennifer Lopez is a horrible fucking person.

On top of that, Marc was JLo’s rebound from Ben Affleck, and if you take anything away from this site, never marry your rebound. They’re like donut tires: You ride it to Sears then get wallet-raped because you’re in the middle of goddamn nowhere. Wow, that got deep.

Anyway, now that Jennifer Lopez has had seven long years of not being in the most publicized relationship on the planet, it’s only a matter of time until she latches onto the biggest male celebrity of the hour who, as luck would have it, happens to really be into knocking up Latina chicks. I can almost see them on the red carpet now…

JLO: And just think, nobody thought this would last. *leans in for kiss*
JUSTIN: I need an adult!

Photos: WENN

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  1. maruli

    I love you Fish

  2. jlover

    jenny back to the streets, guess shes done supporting his sorry ass.
    did-a-chick, dum-a-chum. Right?

  3. Alejandro

    I’m guessing it was that sex video interview and oh yeah, the sex video

  4. Colin

    I had a feeling that once she became relevant again, he’d be gone.

    • Cock Dr

      She thinks she’s relevant again at least.
      Bye-bye husband #?, time to go back on the prowl for a high profile boyfriend.

    • Catani

      I’m sorry ..say what??? Relevant??? How in the hell is she relevant?? This fat ass bitch was never relevant…and probably never will be.

  5. Lemmiwinks

    I really appreciate Fish pulling Sunday duty to share this late-breaking news. I’m certain we’ll all sleep better knowing J-Lo has finally escaped from that awful monster!

    • cursive

      Awful monster? I think not. I have met JLo and she is a true bitch on wheels. They both have the same “NY, I am better than everyone else” arrogant attitude. They deserved each other. He was lucky to marry a lady like Dayanara. She’s a sweet girl and what he did to her was shameless. All I can say is that Karma is a bitch…bigger than JLo.

  6. Sin

    The mind control drugs he was giving her must have worn off. How else can you explain her being with that Golum wanna be.

  7. Reasons to hate Hollywood

    How fucked up is this? She announces that they’re getting a divorce, then she immediately starts working on ways to fuck him up in the court of public opinion. What a controlling, arrogant, self centered whore. She should never move away from LA, because no where else is this behavior considered normal. In LA, she’s found a home…

  8. That’s so weird. Most guys love it when their mother-in-law moves in.

  9. Jennifer Lopez Marc Anthony
    Dr Ha-Ha
    Commented on this photo:

    In the land of the blind, the meglomaniac bitch is Queen.

  10. I guess Jennifer finally peeled her head out of her ass long enough to take a good look at who she married.

  11. tlmck

    I guess he finally got tired of being constantly bumped out of bed by that giant ass.

  12. That Guy

    Man, FOREVER ALONE comes to mind. :P

  13. dontkillthemessenger

    Let me get this straight… the woman now has 3 failed marriages and has dated nearly every ethnic group under the sun (sorry Asians) and still can’t get a relationship to work out. Yeah, I’m sure it was all Marc Anthony’s fault.

    • otah

      Thats how I feel, why blame Mark? She can’t keep a man no matter who it is, what does that tell you.

    • BE

      Let us not forget that Marc Anthony ditched his first wife with 2 kids. And less than a year after she gave birth to the second one. He’s just as bad as she is when it comes to giving a crap about his children.

      • cursive

        I mean, how messed up is that? He marries JLo four days after he divorces Dayanara. Like I said before, KARMA is a BITCH!!

  14. Normal Male

    J-Ho has a career? Her singing is atrocious and so over processed and electronically altered that it could be anybody singing, there is nothing distinct about her voice at all. And she’s no “movie star” even though they keep trying to shove her down America’s throat. They should both just go away already.

  15. 297-Carlson

    Fucking sucks now, J-Lo is now moving on, and but she is always still amazing, but that’s just so horrible news.

  16. TheSupFan

    “and Jennifer Lopez is a horrible fucking person.” Hahaha, riiiiight? Did you hear about how Mary Louise Parker was asked how meeting the royal couple was and she replied that she didn’t get to because Jennifer Lopez “shoved” her out of the way?? Then she was, like, oops maybe I shouldn’t have said that. Plus apparently the bitch is trying to say she doesn’t know if she’s going to judge on AI next year because she has all these other opportunities on her plate. Really JLO?? People only remember your name because the show has pimped out your face and music and given you a platform with America to show your shallow ass off. And now this…there’s shitty LA types and then there’s Jennifer Lopez. Bet Ben Affleck thanks his lucky stars he dodged that bullet.

  17. Venom

    Two of the most horrible people on the planet.
    Who did not see this coming a mile away?

    You can always tell when people grew up poor and are pieces of shit like these two and have low self esteem.
    They always have to dress in the absolutely most expensive clothes all the time and are never casual, drive the absolutely most expensive cars all the time and live in ridiculous palaces.

    This also applies to the Kardashians and Simon Cowell.

    That is why I respect Amanda Seyfried and Kristen Stewart, they can walk around in about $30 worth of clothes, drive a $20,000 car and not give a fuck.

    • boodiba

      word

    • duke of dook

      nice

      • BE

        Good Call.

        Neither of them give a crap about any of their offspring.

        Marc won’t keep it together for this batch either – He divorced his first wife and married JLo when his second kid was 10 months old – the eldest child was TWO. Guess kids don’t need a father.

        Amd JLo, apparently, moves Mom in to raise the kids because she’s busy with AI.

        Just two divas in the ring. Let’s see who wins the publicity round…

  18. Anna

    she does not need this marriage. she got what she wanted – kids

  19. the captain

    he just forgot to wash his penis over the weekend………….
    THAT WAS ALL, folks!!

  20. omahahaha

    That’s great. Break up AFTER twins are born. WTF is wrong with (so many) people?!?

  21. Jovy

    This picture disturbs/frightens me. She looks like a man with a wig and makeup on.

  22. subwayduck

    The person providing the quote is an associate of her first husband, with whom she has had many legal battles. I’m all for gossip and trashy news, but I’d believe him more if he was an unnamed “friend of the couple” rather than a named “associate of her ex-husband.” Not a reputable source at all.

    Though perhaps that makes the whole thing that much more delicious.

  23. I’ve heard persistent rumors that he’s a complete dirtbag and he’s always been that way with her.

    I really can’t blame her, if that’s the case.

  24. RoboZombie

    She’s fat and ugly, people. Fat AND ugly.

  25. Jennifer Lopez Marc Anthony
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the best shot they ever took together. Careful hand placement means everything when composing that perfect photo.

  26. Oh cool, twins don’t have a hard enough life having to share a brain, now she makes them grow up in a broken home. It’s like she’s still that sweet innocent maid from manhattan

  27. Richard McBeef

    You take your fat ass back to the block. And when I finally conquer Castle Greyskull, don’t come knocking asking to play with the Sword of Power because I’ll be feeding it up Panthor’s ass.

  28. since she was all fat and flesh and he was all bones they made a good person.

  29. Ret. NYPD

    Well I guess you can’t actually take Jenny off of the block…. New York doesn’t want her so I guess she’s right at home. With the rest of the egotistical, self centered, wanna be politically correct tramp.

  30. cc

    Well, when you marry the living dead, they are bound to get ripe and foul smelling sooner rather than later.

    Truthfully though, marrying this narcissistic witch probably means he still got the worst of the deal. Imagine dealing with her fucking attitude all frikkin’ day?

  31. orly

    marc anthony? I remember that douche from Hackers

  32. Wow, I thought Jack Spratt and his wife really had a chance in this crazy world.

  33. Katie

    7 year itch for the 41 year old bitch.

    • Tracey

      Marc Anthony actually has talent! He may not be as pretty as his ugly wife, but he makes up for it with his music.

  34. Oliver

    They didn’t look like a good fit in the first place. Anthony played a millionaire who owed millions in the movie “Man on Fire” (familiar?) then had his daughter kidnapped to pay it off. I guess J-Lo got out just in time.

    (Of course any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.)

  35. lmao

    LMAO!!!!! It was only a matter of when!!!!!!! J-Ho is a eeeeewwwww! To think Mark Anthony left Dayanara Torres for J-ho???? Dayanara must be laughing her ass off!! J-ho is an attention whore. I don’t see any point to her. She’s so not nice! Thinks she’s Gods gift to earth. Remember a couple of years back when she was a bitch to big boys(power 106) wife?

  36. Hipster John Leguizamo and his mother out for a stroll.

  37. Equint77

    Someone call he-man skeletors back on the market. Im amazed j-lo never broke him.

  38. PunkA

    Looks like Jenny from the block is back to sucking cock. Her own is she had one. Insipid cunt that she is. I can not imagine having to live with some a horrible creature as J-Lo. Marc just got freed from prison, hit the lottery, and is reborn, and does not realize it yet.

  39. KOOL GUY

    I WHISH I COULD HAVE A DATE WI T MRS JENNIFER LOPEZ!:;SHE,IS SO FINE!”,IT WOULD BE A DREAM COME TRUE!”"”‘SILLY THOUGHTS”"‘MILLION ORTHERS TINK JUSF’HER KIDS IN SLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

  40. KOOL GUY

    HAPPY SUMMER CHEERS SHOUT TO MRS JENNIFER LOPEZ FROM ! ! KOOL GUY!”,,!=!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  41. Peter

    I suspect JLo is a ridiculously ambitious and ruthless bitch who would bite your head off to get ahead in line. She’s a typical slumdog turned millionaire. They are ruthless to the bone and have the manners of a pitbull. Luckily they are easy to spot. Just look for the most over the top dresser who has too much of everything while desperately trying to pretend to have class. Well, that describes half of Hollywood.

    • Z78

      SHE IS HOTTEST 41yr old EVER! It sucks but both of them will move on however, its sad for the kids! good luck to both!!!

  42. Jennifer Lopez Marc Anthony
    miguelito
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll give you sweet, sweet salsa tonite, mi amor.

  43. Jennifer Lopez Marc Anthony
    miguelito
    Commented on this photo:

    Prop me up!

  44. Did anyone not see this coming? JLo at least has a reputation for being attractive (facts are a different matter), Marc Anthony looks like John Leguizamo’s greasier and less attractive cousin.

  45. hmmm

    It is nice to see that guy from 127 hours lived to fulfill his tranny fantasy.

  46. Melinda

    Lol. First Marc Anthony was no rebound. Jennifer Lopez had always been a shadow over even the
    Most serious relationship Marc. They always had this underlying love and flirtation thing even when
    Marc was married to Dianara. And rebounds don’t
    Don’t last for seven years and have children.

  47. yesenia

    what goes around comes around, and next time they both decide to marry someone i hope they dont have more kids because they obviously have issues. Their careers are demanding, and their kids, hopefully they are able to get through it without doing damage to these kids;now. Money does not buy love, but only things, which come and go.

  48. native gurl

    Wow finally girl u way too beautiful for dat old man

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