AMAs: Jennifer Lopez & Iggy Azalea Touched Butts
ABC explicitly warned Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea not to touch butts while performing “Booty” for the AMAs because it’s a family show. Which is funny because on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., another “family show” designed to promote Disney’s Marvel universe, I watched a man murder a woman before carving alien hieroglyphics into her corpse. Then again, you couldn’t see her sex parts, so gather around, children! Anyway, here’s JLo and Iggy defying said warnings and touching butts which did not send humanity plunging into darkness. However, if Kim Kardashian’s ass had rolled in and touched their connected butts, we’d all be speaking a strange dialect and harvesting cloud gems to power intergalactic space elevators. I have foreseen it.