Please Stop Thrusting At Britain, Jennifer Lopez

I’ve always assumed England was our better when it came to the female body considering their newspapers have boobies in them while ours are 90% about bake sales lest the elderly stroke out and there goes their entire subscription base. Anyway, Jennifer Lopez performed on Britain’s Got Talent last night where, judging by these tweets, her crotch started attacking people on the street with an ax. — What? Via The Daily Mail:

One viewer wrote on Twitter: ‘#BGT does #jenniferlopez realise its a family show – only thing missing was the pole – cover up your cheeks please!’
Another added: ‘Think I have seen a little too much of Jennifer Lopez – meant to be a family show? #inappropriate #bgt.’
A further BGT fan waded into the conversation: ‘Jennifer Lopez in rubber underwear and thigh high boots? Yeah that’s great “family” viewing on #BGT.’
Meanwhile, other shocked parents criticised her risque dance moves and the fact that young girls would be watching the ITV1 show, particularly as this week marks the half-term school holiday across much of the UK.
One angry viewer said: ‘#JenniferLopez put some clothes on, #BGT is a family show, what sort of role model are you being for the young girls watching?’
Another fumed: ‘Could Jennifer Lopez’s outfit be any more inappropriate for a family show??? #bgt #jlo #thrusting?!’
While one raged: ‘Watching Jennifer Lopez was almost porn!’

Of course, what’s really happening here is Britain’s clear disdain for Latinos. I mean, why else did they pretend to let us win the Revolutionary War? “Oh, good heavens, it seems your small band of rebels has defeated an entire empire’s army. I suppose this land that’s easily reached by foot, raft, or perhaps even – *snicker, titter* – donkey is yours for the taking. We best be off then. Tally ho!”