Jennifer Lopez is Really Taking This Separation Hard, In a Bikini

July 25th, 2011 // 62 Comments

“Bitch, turn around, O.J.’s a cowboy! GET OUTDA HOUSE!”

Here’s Jennifer Lopez celebrating her 42nd birthday in Miami over the weekend, and blatantly posing for the paparazzi so Marc Anthony will see how happy she is without him. Which is kind of superfluous considering he carries around a scepter with a crystal ball sticking out the end of it. “Let me gaze far into the distance… and see what this bitch is doing. Ay dios mio, that’s my boat! And she’s serving those tiny little enchiladas I like! Mujer, how could choo?!”

Photo: INFdaily


  1. No ass shots, no thanks.

  2. kyle

    so shes over 40, has had TWINS and looks like that…my wife is 26 and had one kid and looks like she is still pregnant one year later…wtf???

    • i stink

      its called a treadmill, look into it.

    • Donald Trump

      Kill or divorce your wife. She’s a lazy skank.

      • Satan's bitch

        It really helps to have a bajillion motherfucking dollars to spend on trainers and exercise equipment and nannies to take care of those pesky chores like parenting and all that.

    • gumption

      maybe you should put your fat ass in motion and help with the child rearing so your blubber buns wife can hit the gym, ever thought of that?

    • fuckface

      I’m sure you are God’s gift to women. You try growing a human being and see how quickly you look like a movie star. This old cunt has trainers, dieticians, nannies and a ton of$. You don’t know what she looks like in person. You are a real DICK for comparing your wife to this skank. good luck with the divorce, cus that is where you are heading. Fuckface!

    • jon

      Your wife probably can’t afford personal trainers, surgery and so on.
      I am sure if Jennifer Lopez was a regular person with not much money she wouldn’t looks like this

      • Jkaren

        Just because poor Kyle can never say these words to his wife we rip off his balls for saying them here? Sounds like she has put them in the food processor a long time ago. Smoothies anyone?

      • heather

        no excuse for looking like a fat slob one year later, even if the husband doesn’t do shit to help.

        however, these pictures aren’t that impressive. i figured her to be in much better shape than this. i guess she really squeezes herself well into clothing.

  3. blah, blah, blah…fat ass twat…blah, blah, blah…Puerto Rican, Cuban, black man in the back saying it with his eyes…

    I bet her cunt smells (and looks) like my gym socks

  4. Jennifer Lopez Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I can see dat booty from down here!

  5. Jennifer Lopez Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    “How the fuck do I get this thing to zoom out?”

  6. Facebook Me

    What bikini shots are these? She is practically dressed like a Muslim woman. Besides, who cares about her?

    • Jkaren

      Well let’s see; you seem to care enough to peruse the article and then comment on it…like the other 39 people that have posted, the countless people that watch idol and the the tens of thousands of people who bought the latest US weekly. But you’re probably one cares about her. America hates celebrities and ignores them at all costs.

      • Edgar Gasconye

        She’s not looking very hot, kinda housewifey . And there are documented pictures of her thigh and ass cellulite . In France , this is the kind of woman we see when our mistress is on her period

  7. Inmate 12236969

    I can’t figure out what people see in the HO she don’t look that great and my dog sings better.

  8. Freaky

    What bikini, Fish? I see a bikini top with a skirt on the bottom! How am I supposed to make fun of her jello-riffic ass if I can’t see it? Gimme something to work with!

  9. Deacon Jones

    Bikinis, drinks, oh my!

    Deacon’s bachelor party is in t-minus 4 days and counting.

    2 Penthouse rooms in Ocean City , MD for 3 nights= $159 per person

    3 eightballs = $330

    Bar next to pool and volleyball court = $100 tab before noon

    14 guys going to Seacrets all day/night = Definitely getting bounced/arrested

    Shaking in bed Sunday night with DT’s trying to fall asleep = priceless

    • Cock Dr

      DJ you are getting leg shackled?!?

      • Deacon Jones

        Yep, early September…crazy!

        If you had know me 5, 6 years ago, you’d never of thought this day would come

    • DogBoy

      Going downy ocean, hon? Nice. — Representin’!

    • Fletch

      My condolences DJ.

      Seriously though, gratz and good luck.

    • gumption

      not sure what this has to do with the fat bitch up top but since you drew back the curtains to your sad life allow me to give you a litle pre-wedding advice: learn to stand your own company first before marrying another person. you sound like you cant take even a minute of the real you so you have a lot of work to do buddy. Your fiance must be 16 and from Arkansas to fall into your bear trap. But hey, good luck fella!

    • Deacon Jones

      lol, thanks for all the best wishes, especially you, Gumption.

      I’m printing your comment out and will be reading it out loud down there to everyone somewhere the 14th and 15th shot of SoCo

  10. See Alice

    Thank You for no pictures of that fat ,humungous deformed Rikishi Phatu ass >

  11. MILF

    Deacon, you got quite a deal on those 8-balls. We paid about $200 per in college in ’97.
    Oh, and JLo’s a talentless skank who humped her way to the top (P. Diddy, Ben Assfleck, the list goes on…)

  12. Donald Trump

    JLo….I don’t get what anyone sees in this ho. Bitch can’t sing or act, and apparently she can’t even keep a man! If Skeletor left her or was cheating on her….imagine what a horrible person she must be to live with.

  13. I like in back there rough

    Thank Mary Poppins she covered her silly-sized doo dooer.

  14. PopeyesChicken

    Fish, you receive 5 internets based solely on the opening from the OJ look-a-like!

  15. Luvenkub

    To Kyle – my guess is you’re not paying for your wife to spend a couple hours a day with a personal trainer and hiring a chef to cook her meals. You’re probably not even forking over enough for The Zone delivery service. Do that before u bitch about her not being in shape.

    • Fletch

      Hiring a driver, a nanny, several body guards, illegal alien gardeners, illegal alien housekeepers…the list goes on and on. These people don’t do squat.

  16. JesusCan'tHitACurveball

    A racist OJ Simpson can’t decide how he feels about stabbing a Puerto Rican.

  17. TomFrank

    Is that the same guy who was saying it all with his eyes when Lopez was in that silver Spiderman outfit?

  18. Jennifer Lopez Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    …saying it all with his eyes….

  19. Marc Anthony: Whatch you gonna do Anna Mae, huh? Run out on me now and wear a bikini all over the motherfuckin place?

    Jennifer: What? Is that gun supposed to scare me Ike?

  20. Eeo

    Ur Spanish is sexy.

  21. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    These pics are clearly photo shopped. She has never been that thin, or white in her life. She puts these out to land a rich powerful man that can put her in movies, get a book deal, etc. She’ll ride any old dick to get ahead. Her only talents are a trick pelvis and no gag reflex. She is a fucking pig.

    • Jkaren

      Nope! She used to be a very white skinned latina. Google early pics of her. I’m not sure how it will support your theory; rich old guys might go for all kinds, equal opportunity and affirmative action bitch!

  22. Jennifer Lopez Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    OJ is looking for the real killer between her ass cheeks.

  23. Jennifer Lopez Bikini
    Scott Walker
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s badass.

  24. Jennifer Lopez Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah, the Dance of the Talentless Yesterhag.

    ‘Tis a sad and lonely dance.

  25. the one

    she’s afraid you will call her a Fat Ass.
    THAT’S WHY THE SKIRT, folks!!

  26. Edgar Gasconye

    Black dude wants to pound it up her ass

  27. Jennifer Lopez Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I am impress about her abs. Even with her age she has a beautiful 6-pack. Just Beautiful.

  28. Jennifer Lopez Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Good for her. Congratulation.

  29. Jennifer Lopez Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF is wearing the black dude in the second picture????

  30. Jennifer Lopez Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    For her and the others women’s with him its better to be alone.

  31. Hilarious

    This is the funniest post in a long time!

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