Jennifer Lawrence: Everyone’s Favorite Barf Queen

It seems like every time Jennifer Lawrence comes up she’s attached to some sort of poop/pee/fart related byline. Most recently I remember her getting Japanese businessman-level wasted while falling all over some Austrian stripper pole like a drunk sorority girl after eating a cereal bowl of quaaludes. Prior to that she was peeing in her yard behind her mom’s back and rubbing sacred Hawaiian rocks on her itchy butthole. She’s living as the care-free child we said bye-bye to a long time ago as all of our souls have taken on a decade’s worth of decay in the past six months.

Apparently Olivia Wilde’s Broadway production of 1984 is really visceral and J-Law isn’t the first to ralph during/after a show. But J-Law loves gross shit so it seems weird that she would toss her animal crackers over the sight of someone eating a fake rat on stage, right? From PageSix:

..on Monday night, a source told Page Six: “Midway through the show, Jennifer Lawrence bolted from her seat. Several people saw her getting sick in the lobby. The ushers were very helpful and courteous in helping her out.”But a friend of Lawrence’s explained that the star’s reaction had nothing to do with the play but rather, “She caught the stomach flu from her nephews.”

Last time I got stomach flu, the last thing on my to-do was read/watch anything to do with George Orwell. I don’t buy this “stomach flu from her nephews” nonsense, but I tell ya what I do buy:

“Aunt Jen, wanna play with us?”
“Sure! What game are we playing?”
“It’s not really a game, Mikey and I found dog poop and we want to watch you eat it again.”
*J-Law makes a fart sound with her mouth*
“AWESOME! Just do me a favor and don’t tell your mom this time, ok? Now where’s this poop, I’ve got a play to catch in a couple hours.”