Jennifer Lawrence Took A Big Dump On Christians So I Love Her Now

“She’s looking at my penis.”
“I’m looking at his penis.”
“My mom smoked when she was pregnant.”

Thanks to my zeal to write a headline with the words “Jennifer Lawrence” and “hymen”Which I did.. – and the ensuing chaos from Charlie Sheen’s HIV and Miley Cyrus naked with a black dildo, I’m only just now getting around to being more aroused by Jennifer Lawrence’s thoughts on the religious right than I was by her leaked photos. That I totally didn’t look at if you happen to be her lawyer. What’s a Fappening? Via Vogue:

The day I am at Lawrence’s house also happens to be the day after the infamous county clerk Kim Davis gets out of jail, where she had been sent for defying a court order requiring her to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Lawrence brings it up, calling her that “lady who makes me embarrassed to be from Kentucky.” Kim Davis? “Don’t even say her name in this house,” she shoots back, and then goes into a rant about “all those people holding their crucifixes, which may as well be pitchforks, thinking they’re fighting the good fight. I grew up in Kentucky. I know how they are.”
There is a rabble-rousing spirit in Lawrence that gets stirred up when certain subjects are broached. “I was raised a Republican,” she says, “but I just can’t imagine supporting a party that doesn’t support women’s basic rights. It’s 2015 and gay people can get married and we think that we’ve come so far, so, yay! But have we? I don’t want to stay quiet about that stuff.” It is not that big of a stretch to imagine her becoming a modern-day Jane Fonda, whom she deeply admires. When we discuss the presidential race, she says something that she will later repeat to a reporter from Entertainment Weekly. “My view on the election is pretty cut-and-dried: If Donald Trump is president of the United States, it will be the end of the world. And he’s also the best thing to happen to the Democrats ever.”

Remember that scene in Scary Movie when that dude finally gets to have sex with Anna Faris and a geyser of semen comes out plastering her to the ceiling? I don’t even know who I am in that scenario, that’s how turned I am on right now.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to hide in Jennifer Lawrence’s shower so I can jump out and ask her about Syrian refugees. Hold my calls.

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Photos: FameFlynet, Getty, MPNC/AKM-GSI