The Internet Wants To F*ck Jennifer Lawrence’s Bodyguard

You can tell it’s Friday when Jennifer Lawrence’s hot bodyguard is the top story of the day, so here’s that guy who was probably hired thanks to ass-batons who want to kill her because she had the nerve not to lovingly thank the Internet for leaking her nude photos. Also, apparently the key to making hundreds of women want you to fuck you stupid is to walk behind a celebrity holding a puppy which is bullshit because every time I do that with Hilary Duff people are all like, “Get down on the ground!” and, “Put your heads on your head!” The dog wasn’t even real! Anymore.

Photos: AKM-GSI