Jennifer Garner Thinks Eating Steak With Trump Will Help

“I’m sorry, the Secretary of Education said what about black colleges?”

People are actually praising Trump’s toned-down performance at his address to the joint session of Congress as some sort of indication that he’s “relaxing into the role” and “becoming more presidential.” And I will say that it’s remarkable that he’s set the bar so low that just controlling his butthole lips from twisting his face into an insane tan clown mask and not whining like a bitch at personal gripes for an hour marks a huge improvement in his behavior.

Meanwhile, he’s still feeding red meat to his base with a ludicrous budget proposal that slashes funding for everything that’s not the military and old people’s money. So, it’s kind of fun to watch actress/underprivileged children’s education advocate/nanny sex runner-up Jennifer Garner have to pretend to be optimistic that President Clint Eastwood’s Character In Gran Torino is going to give the tiniest orange of fucks about poor kids’ schools. Via Huffington Post:

Unlike some of her Hollywood counterparts, Garner thinks bridging ties between the Trump administration and these communities is essential, considering the demographics of who voted him into office. For years, she’s tirelessly worked to to fund reading and literacy programs and she has no plans on stopping now.
“People felt like Trump really understood them, that he was going to come in and create jobs for them,” Garner told The Washington Post. “They felt like they needed something to just turn everything upside down.”
“I’m looking forward to helping him make good on what they saw as promises, a mandate from him, that he was going to make their lives better,” she continued. “If he’s willing to help the poor kids who got him elected, then let’s do it. They certainly think he’s going to.”

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He won’t. He won’t do any of that. But hold on a second, because Jennifer Garner is no dummy. Remember the amazing shade she threw on Ben Affleck’s mid-life crisis back tat?

“You know what we would say in my hometown about that? ‘Bless his heart.’ A phoenix rising from the ashes. Am I the ashes in this scenario?” Garner says with a wink.
“I take umbrage. I refuse to be the ashes.”

Honestly, I think she’s pulling the same shit here:

“Send me a ticket to Mar-a-Lago. I’m ready to go down and have a steak and a good chat,” she said. “I really think it’s great, if he’s willing to help the poor kids who got him elected.”

If you’re unaware, Trump eats his steak well-done and with ketchup like an asshole at Applebee’s who waves his coupon in the waitress’ face before she even takes the drink order. Jennifer Garner must know this and took the opportunity to point out that while she has no choice but to keep lobbying on behalf of little kids who can’t read. So the least she can do is call out the asshole who failed his way into the White House by never being poor enough to realize how broken the system actually is. But, no, please tell me how the free market will provide a solution for destitute rural populations who don’t have enough students in a concentrated area for a charter school to profit from. I’ve got time. I’m just over here waxing Al Franken’s boat that he bought with redistributed wealth from small business owners.

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Photo: Getty