Jennifer Garner Even Makes Better Viral Videos Than Ben Affleck

Last week, Jennifer Garner karate-ate the shit out of Ben Affleck’s lunch in her interview with Vanity Fair where she smoked his phoenix back tattoo and let everyone know she had to explain to her kids where their nanny went because Daddy gave her a special grown-up hug as soon as Mommy signed the divorce papers. And now here’s Jennifer Garner with a new viral video that remarkably doesn’t end with a China cabinet falling over, which is what I’ve always assumed would happen if she ever said the word “fuck.”

And because Jennifer Garner hasn’t owned him enough, here’s Ben Affleck’s latest video which is an embarrassing, ham-fisted marketing stunt for Batman V Superman, and I dunno, something about the Congo. It’s really bad unless you enjoy seeing Ben Affleck repeatedly pop out of the Batmobile and yelling, “Hey, who said Superman is better than Batman? What’s the big idea?” It’s awful.

I actually feel so bad, I’m giving Ben Affleck another chance with this Jimmy Kimmel sketch because, wow, goddammit. You poor man-titted bastard.

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Photo: Vanity Fair