Jennifer Aniston’s Perfume vs. Angelina Jolie’s ‘Salt’

Because icicles fire out of her nipples making the ability to nurse an infant impossible, Jennifer Aniston decided to launch her new fragrance in London today, the same exact week as the premiere of Angelina Jolie’s Salt. Which is an awesome idea. There’s nothing like taking a successful movie star down a peg by showing the public you’ve been reduced to hawking perfume like Jessica Simpson. On that note, I’m now convinced this must be some sort of side effect from banging John Mayer. There’s probably a groupie in Jersey right now trying to melt her sheets into a spray bottle and sell it on QVC. “I call it ‘Eau de He Kept Saying His Penis Wasn’t Racist and No One Understands the Magic of His Mind The Entire Time.'”

Photos: Pacific Coast News, WENN