Jennifer Aniston’s Perfume vs. Angelina Jolie’s ‘Salt’

July 21st, 2010 // 62 Comments

Because icicles fire out of her nipples making the ability to nurse an infant impossible, Jennifer Aniston decided to launch her new fragrance in London today, the same exact week as the premiere of Angelina Jolie‘s Salt. Which is an awesome idea. There’s nothing like taking a successful movie star down a peg by showing the public you’ve been reduced to hawking perfume like Jessica Simpson. On that note, I’m now convinced this must be some sort of side effect from banging John Mayer. There’s probably a groupie in Jersey right now trying to melt her sheets into a spray bottle and sell it on QVC. “I call it ‘Eau de He Kept Saying His Penis Wasn’t Racist and No One Understands the Magic of His Mind The Entire Time.’”

Photos: Pacific Coast News, WENN

superficial

  1. “Salt” will make a gazillion dollars this weekend.
    How much will Jen’s new perfume drum up?
    And how’s that search for husband #2 coming along?
    She does look great….the all American blonde babe.

    • I would rather bang Jenn than Angelina any day of the week.

    • Mr. Nice Guy

      Jenn is way Hotter!

    • I’d take Aniston any day over Jolie.

    • So the consensus sems to be that Jen wins hands down in a looks face off with the tattooed succubus.
      Yet AJ is the one with an Oscar on the mantle, Brad in her bed, & international statesmen rushing to kiss the hem of her robes when she visits.
      Further proof I guess that there just ain’t no such thing as “karma”.
      I love them both.

    • F*ck you back dude

      This ugly greek dog is not naturally blonde, just like her annoying personality, its fake.

      • Nahuh

        Όσα δε φτάνει η αλεπού τα κάνει κρεμαστάρια ΜΑΛΑΚΑ . Όταν οι Έλληνες έχτιζαν τον Παρθενώνα οι πρόγονοι σου έτρωγαν μπανάνες κρεμασμένοι απ’τα δέντρα ΚΑΡΑΓΚΙΟΖΑΚΟ !!!! Αυτά from a greek dog !!!!!

  2. Richard McBeef

    JA > AJ

    Keep Erin on the top

  3. Kerri

    she is soooooooooooooo much better looking than AJ. better body, better hair, better skin, better smile, better fashion sense, better aura.

  4. Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    she needs to release a sex tape pronto.

  5. Jim
    Commented on this photo:

    Jennifer’s the hottest girl you’d never want to fuck twice.

  6. Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks sooo great I like her soooo much WHOAAAAAAAA!

  7. JRS22

    For christ sake, quit trying to compare Aniston to Jolie.

    • I agree with you JRS22. They are both VERY different and there is no comparison. However, I would totally cheat on my husband with Angie ;) … I like them both. One is pretty from head to toe. She is doing “okay” as an actress, and she has had many men in her life, but she seems happy. The other one is a GREAT actress (Oscar winner) and she is doing amazing, her face is GORGEOUS, she is a mom and has a good looking man by her side. They are very different indeed!

  8. Danny Glover

    i wouldn’t have been so rough with her last night if i knew all her bruises would show…good thing they didn’t snap one of her anus because i left it looking like my pack had been up in there.

  9. PunkA
    Commented on this photo:

    For 40, she looks awesome. I would totally get down with her and be happy to brag about it. She is 40. And hawt. Fit. Bet her ass makes an amazing pillow.

  10. PunkA

    For 40, she looks awesome. I would totally get down with her and be happy to brag about it. She is 40. And hawt. Fit. Bet her ass makes an amazing pillow.

  11. JPRichardson
    Commented on this photo:

    At least she’s got better legs than Aneglina. She should be proud she is better than her nemesis at something…

  12. aristotrash

    Whatever. Angelina may be more naturally beautiful (and by naturally, I mean, only a nose job and a boob job), but Jen looks so much better here than Angie did at the Salt premiere. Angie looks haggard and aloof and constipated. You can tell that Jen takes such good care of herself and she looks gorgeous here. When Angelina hits 40, she will be lucky to look half as good as Jen does here.

    • ClassyDirtyChick

      Constipated. That is so the correct word to describe her!!! (AJ) – Couldn’t get more uptight.

    • ClassyDirtyChick

      How old is Angelina now?….. I know she’s younger than Jennifer, and she looks like she’s just crawled out of A Coffin. And hasn’t worked out a day in her life, no muscle tone. What will she look like when she’s 40!

      • absinthe

        Hasn’t worked out a day in her life? After popping out three kids, I beg to differ. Jen is still better though, but then again, she hasn’t had any kids.

  13. K

    Her body is tight but her face is manly. Angelina on the other hand is stunningly beautiful. I can’t believe Aniston hasn’t moved on from Brad after all these years and after all the men she’s slept with after him. kinda sad really

  14. Anon

    of course her body is tight. She has never given birth. She doesn’t have 6 kids She spends all her spare time working with a personal trainer and doing yoga. She probably lives on salads. She’s always lounging by the pool working on her tan or with her hairstylist touching up her unnatural hair colour. Jolie is out there saving the world, raising 6 kids, doing action movies and winning oscars

  15. fag

    i’ll take aniston anyday over the punkin headed lumberjack jawed bug eyed skeletal bitch ..
    when is the truth comin out about that skank !
    i’m waitin years !
    ya’ll gots to be blind or insane or both if’n ya think blockhead has anything over that nice looking gal with the gorgeous figure & nice personality ..
    like comparin pearls with swine …

  16. fag

    ps- never heard a kind word about AJ nor has she any friends ..
    now compare that with aniston ..
    it’s your friends who speak volumes about who you are ..
    to the idolizing bimbo slaves …
    good luck ..lol
    you wouldn’t know a good person if one fell on ya’ ..
    just remba’ good deeds are done anonymously ..
    plus you know AJ wouldn’t give you the time of day …
    JA is a regular gal ..
    so that makes you a moron ….hahahaa

  17. fag

    aristotrash i agree aniston looks awesome but the thing that sets her apart is the ‘healthy ‘ look she has ..
    a rare thing nowadays & very refreshing ..
    reaLLY anyone who’s seen AJ in person can only laugh their asses off …she’s ugly ..as SIN in fact ..lol

  18. When it comes to looks. I would love to see Angie’s face in Jen’s body. Now, that’s hot!!! One has the face and the other has the body. Right?

  19. catie

    Aniston rocks! If she were a guy, folks would be slapping her on the back cogratulating her for attracting so many partners. Nobody expects George Clooney to marry in order to be okay. He has had a long string of relationships. Jen is her own person and isn’t defined by a man, a marriage, a boyfriend, motherhood like all those clingy women who are ever ‘belonging’ to someone else and never standing on their own two feet. Way to go Jen!

  20. sjchef

    Does Aniston really think she measures up to Jolie? She’s living in a dream world because they are on completely different levels. There’s no comparison to Jolie. She’ll never live up to her.

  21. Twinkle

    Aniston looks like a very well kept housewife. She would fit right in on one of those stupid Real Housewives show. You visit Great Neck, NY or Palos Verde or Laguna Beach, CA and she’d be just another one. Seriously.

  22. Airbrush
    Commented on this photo:

    Amazing how her so-called abs does not look like the photoshopped version in the water ad poster at all.

  23. Belly Eraser
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me get this straight: she thinks other women will want to buy her perfume so that they would smell like her and have her love life?

  24. captain america

    ……what do you mean by “DESPERATE”, folks?

  25. oooaaahhh

    Pic 11. What a pair of legs!! Um, um, um!

  26. kitty_kat

    Why won’t people let go of this imaginary feud?

  27. Jenfan4EVA

    Am sooooo sick of you anti-Jen people, why not shut your mouths if you got nothing good to say about her, what has she done to deserve such bad mouthing and nonsense, I agree to bad mouth wanna be famous bitch, where was she before she broke up Jen’s marriage , don’t you get it why she does all these humanitarian and being a baby machine? I know why, is to get some attention and get some friends, does Jen needs to do that NOOOOOOOOO she is LOVE by the whole nations apart from you marriage wreckers, have you read about her and how she was and still is? Yep I know you do but you don’t care because you are all just like her manipulating or maybe you broke up some other people’s relationship, who care if she is with Brad If Jen was not over him why would she still have the looks and everything, don’t you know what goes around comes around, she thinks breaking them up will make Jen stress and depressed but it backfires on her, look at her a blow of the wind will blow her to KINGDOM COME don’t know where. Don’t bother replying because it will make you people more frustrating, I don’t care what you say about her as she doesn’t care either with what nonsense and evilness you create about her, try help Mr stick you all favour make her into a woman not a man as she is that in her face and everthing.

  28. andy

    so did jennifer perfume make 298 million? i don’t think so and where has she been if not in hiding because she knows she SUCK, STINKS, BUT WANTS CREDIT FOR EVERYTHING. SHE TIRED TO SELL HER STINKY PERFUME, TO GET TO ANGELINA AS ALWAYS, I NOTICE EVERYTIME ANGELINA HAS A MOVIE COMING OUT A MONTH LATER HER STUPID MOVIE COMES OUT. THE DIFFERENT IS HERS ALWAYS FLOP, SHE IS RUNNING OUT OF MOVIE STARS TO USE TO GAIN FAME AND GET CREDIT, SHE IS BRING EVERYONE DOWN WITH HER.

  29. Jenfan4EVA

    OUCH OUCH OUCH…… it really does hurt when the truth is told eh old man, but who cares about all those millions and making top movies, the only thing that people likes watching is because she makes ohhhhhh so good sex on television who would blame her she’s had how many husbands she’s had a lot of training. Whatever you say Jennifer will always always be the SWEETHEART and MY NUMBER 1 FAN, don’t matter what you say old man, DON’T CARE ONE BIT, is your so call fan taking you up with her I DON’T THINK SO, so why would Jen bring anyone down. Get a life or go to Mr stick and get one because I don’t give a SHIT, reply again and be miserable. HA HA HA HA HA ……..

  30. Marilyn - Trinidad and Tobago

    Jen you are the best and one day you will get all the happiness you deserve. Brad Pitt did not deserve you .

  31. Ray Johnson

    Jen all the way. You can trust her as a friend. vote http://coolometer.org/jolie-vs-aniston

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