Jennifer Aniston Topless Will Make You Thirsty For Intelligent Water

June 2nd, 2011 // 86 Comments

Here’s Jennifer Aniston posing “topless” for the latest Smart Water ads which, full disclosure, I’m entirely posting just so I can write “Jennifer Aniston topless” in the headline and watch you all try to fit through the door at the same time because that’s how deep I love, baby. On that note, I might’ve kept the shameless traffic whoring going by tossing in shots of Pippa Middleton’s butt, and the “alleged” Anthony Weiner penis photo that he can’t tell if it’s his own because it apparently likes to wear disguises? Who the hell knows?

Should I have added cat photos? I should’ve added cat photos.

Photo: Flynet

superficial

  1. Anthony Weiner Twitter Photo
    Commented on this photo:

    The alleged photo posted by an alleged hacker, that Weiner “can’t say for absolute certain isn’t a photo of him”.

    What does it say about the guy that not only can’t he identify his own underwear, but he’s completely lost track of how many photos he’s taking of his throbbing package.

  2. Jennifer Aniston Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    It makes me thirsty for her bathwater.

    hah, just kidding, she’s old. gross…

  3. Pippa Middleton Butt
    jimbo
    Commented on this photo:

    i don’t get the big deal. i’ve seen nicer.

  4. save teh lolcatz but thanks for the butt shots. clever use of “tossing” with british pics, as it means the same thing there as wanking

  5. Brad Pitt

    I gave this up for Skeletor and the preadolescent UN General Assembly? D’oh!

  6. SaraDevil

    Shameless whoring +1 fish. +1.

  7. Anonymous

    She is far and away better looking than Angelina Jolie. Brad Pitt made a HUGE mistake.

    • one’s a six, the other, half a doz

    • karen

      Nah, Brad made the right decision, since it’s all about publicity.

      • bitingontinfoil

        Angie loses points for: Swapping spit w/her brother; marrying Billy Bob Thornton; marrying Johnny whatshisname in a tshirt smeared in blood; chasing the dragon; smoking meth; doing an interview high on coke; fucking around on every man she’s been with; fucking around with every married man she’s starred with; etc etc etc. Brad definitely traded DOWN

  8. MarkM

    Who cares about that? What will make HER thirsty for my weiner juice?

  9. Richard McBeef

    Aniston should be peddling ice rather than liquid water.

  10. Mrs. o

    Meh. Where are the cat photos.

  11. Pippa Middleton Butt
    horn dog
    Commented on this photo:

    BFD

  12. Has there ever been a more needy girl in Hollywood?

  13. British Poof

    Pippa Pooper!

  14. Anthony Weiner Twitter Photo
    fapappy
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait a minute bro..Thats my Junk, What the Hell are you doing with my skin hammer? I swear you’d better send it back or so help me… My wife will grant me use of my balls, and there will be trouble mister. Should never have gotten that detachable penis in the first place..Guess I had to learn the hard way.

  15. Hope this isn’t the beginning of a “people with ironic names” scandal epidemic. Luckily, Dick Sargent is already dead…

  16. Alex

    Why do people keep saying shes more attractive than Angelina? Look at pictures of both of them at 18 before they had plastic surgery – one is a natural beauty, the other one just bought her looks.

    Ange was born a goddess whereas Jen has to work for it – shes a Greek girl with dark hair and a big nose who used to be fat and just paid to look like she does. Ange never needed any work even though shes had her nose done.

    • Ang is paying so price these days… She looks like crap…

      • bitingontinfoil

        Absolutely! She’s looking rather “hawkish”. That “perfect bone structure” of a face will become rather severe as she ages. Not to mention she’s a high-maintenance psycho with needy daddy-issues.

      • Alex

        Which one do you think is better in bed though? Thats a no-brainer

      • The crazy chick is better in bed… DUH!! You just have to be sure to palm a blade in case things take a turn for the worse…

    • Angelina Jolie has had her share of plastic surgery. Her nose alone is undeniably altered. But even beyond that…she’s covered herself in tattoos…does that not qualify as a body modification enough for you?

      Angelina looks like a skeleton covered in inked leather, with wrinkled lips that literally make me shudder to think touching me. She’s aging like milk…not wine.

      • bitingontinfoil

        Billy Bob once stated she was a dud in bed – keeping in mind it was from BB…she reminds me of the desperate skank you pick up in a bar who’s kinda hot but the daddy issues take over and she’s willing to do ANYTHING to validate her looks…also the herion/meth/coke helped. Although I like Jen – that movie she made w/Clive Owen had ZERO sex appeal. Hard to say really…

      • bitingontinfoil

        I have a few tats (3) and each had meaning – not to mention she got REAL tats in … where was it? By Buddhists? Some tats she got was not with a “needle” in a shop, but hardcore. That’s about the only thing I’ll give her props for (mind you the herion prolly dulled the pain)

    • BradsPittHair

      She didnt have to work for SHIT. Her daddy has always had all the right friends/associates AND Chiniston even with surgery, angles, lighting and photoshopped to hell and back is no goddess. Puh-leeeeease.
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      • bitingontinfoil

        Wait – ask her brother how she is in bed – or johnny whatshisname or colin farrel or antonio banderas or that asian model chick or *insert name here*…Not lying, I’m a straight chick and woulda done her in her Gina days but now she just looks dirty and used.

    • @bitingontinfoil
      I distinctly remember Ang and Billy showing up to an awards show where he stated on the red carpet (and I quote)… “we fucked on the way here in the limo” while wearing a vial of her blood around his neck.

      If she is a boring lay then your standard for exciting must be AWESOME.
      And she was good enough to make Brad Pitt drop Aniston.

      Like I said… Crazy bitch sex will do that…

    • blah

      actually, even though young jenn didn’t have perfect features, she was quite beautiful: tinyurl.com/3jcljy3
      you can see some personality/intelligence/depth in her expression, unlike young angelina: tinyurl.com/3lg5nes

    • LINA

      JENIFER ANISTON WAS BORN GREEK LOOK WITH A HUGE NOSE EGGPLANT ,CHIN IS LONG LIKE HORSE CHIN, EYES IS NOT BIG, FACE IS SO FAT AND SQUARE, MOUTH IS UGLY ,THIN LIPS , HEIGHT IS SHORT, BODY IS NOT SEXY{BOOB IMPLANT NOW} NO COUNT SHE IS UGLY. NOT PRETTY AT ALL. WHO SAY THAT SHE BEAUTIFUL, THAT PERSON IS BLIND

  17. Anthony Weiner Twitter Photo
    newt gingrich
    Commented on this photo:

    he’s waiting to see who among the GOP side of the aisle “can’t say for absolute certain wouldn’t swallow.”

  18. Rancid

    More special effects than George Lucas with those pictures.

    But I would still pound her like a cheap cut of veal.

  19. Dr Neckbeard

    Jennifer Aniston posing for Smart Water is just like Snooki posing for Classy Slimfast

  20. cc

    If the people at SmartWater were smart they’d use a picture of her stooped over a stool clasping a bottle of their product between the cheeks of her magnificent ass. Then at least people would stop to look at the ad for reasons other than to say ‘poor misguided fool’.

  21. Anthony Weiner Twitter Photo
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Tony, you didn’t do this right.
    Helpful hint, if you want to show off your throbbing erection get the Hanes underwear out of the way. How the hell do we know what’s under there? A squash? Legos? Bottle of hand lotion?

  22. adolf hitler

    she looks 15 years younger here. but still, brad made the right choice. put her hair back and shes like minnie drivers sister

  23. Pippa Middleton Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    now THAT’S a good shot

  24. jumpin_j

    I’d drink that.

  25. mikenike

    With all her money shes advertising water? What a sell out greedy bitch.

  26. Improbable Joe

    Hey, Aniston is MUCH better looking than Angelina Jolie. Angie is shooting heroin or has an eating disorder or is in the last stages of cancer or something. Jennifer Aniston isn’t any hotter than she was 10 years ago, but she’s not any worse either. Jolie looks like 40 miles of bad road these days.

    • COX

      JENIFER ANISTON IS A PLASTIC WOMEN FIXED FROM HEAD TO TOES BUT STILL LOOK FUGLY. NO WAY SHE BETTER THAN JOLIE, NO WAY

  27. Jennifer Aniston Topless
    Ben Dover
    Commented on this photo:

    Easily the hottest woman alive. You all whine that she is old but that is still F*ckin impressive. I would eat the corn out of her 5hit

  28. tony

    Ah, Miss Aniston, I see you are familiar with our friend, “Photoshop”.

  29. Ok I”m sold. I definitely want to taste it, and I don’t mean the water.

  30. Senor Hector Ruiz Brownshorts

    Is she still fertile?

  31. the captain

    pssst: SHE CAN’T FILL A SWIMMING POOL WITH IT FOR JESSICA SIMPSON?

  32. I feel that she gets bad advice from people.

  33. Elf

    Does anyone but me see the irony of calling it smart to buy water at the store, when it’s readily available from any faucet in your home?

  34. Veronica

    I prefer Ang. She seems capable of giving a shit about something that’s not her own reflection.

  35. deadpool2099

    The MOST overrated twat in show biz.. She thinks she has a golden cervix with a platinum lining.

  36. Marc

    nice photoshopped pic

    c’mon this is not how she looks like at 6 o’clock in the morning like the average office employee

  37. Jennifer Aniston Topless
    Mindy the Turdmeister
    Commented on this photo:

    She is freakishly gorgeous for a 40+ woman.
    Hotter now that she was 10 years ago.

  38. Jennifer Aniston Topless
    The Ugly Truth
    Commented on this photo:

    “LOOK HOW YOUNG I LOOK! LOOK! LOOOOOOK! I’M STILL RELEVANT! I AM!!!!”

    *cracks open a jar of fetus stem cells*

    “GLUG GLUG GLUGLUGLUG…”

  39. SCH

    You know its heavily photoshopped when you have to add black and white to every one of her pictures. its been awhile since ive seen an ad in color. Must be a contingency in her contract to protect herself from looking archaeic. Angelina, although visibly aging herself, is still better.

  40. Pippa Middleton Butt
    Buchi
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t get it. Where ia this great but?

  41. lin

    This women is fake from head to toes, from inside to outside and from fake photos to fake movies pictures. She cheating her fan. Number 1 photoshopped women

  42. Tammy

    Yeah, look at her bare face . exactly middle-aged average women. But with the photos or her movies pictures she total look diferent. just like a young model. No wonder the photoshopped team work very hard to change the old,ugly women pictures to a young beautiful women. pictures

  43. LEB

    Airbrush much?

    These celebrity women should just start looking their age and refuse to acquiesce to Hollywood’s obsession with false youth. Sure, let these middle-aged actresses be well-preserved for their age, but airbrushing a woman in her early 40s to give her the skin of a 22 year old is a joke. EVERYONE knows she doesn’t look like that in real life. Just let the woman have her smile lines and her eye creases and let her look like her actual self! Post nose job, of course.

  44. Jennifer Aniston Topless
    Jester
    Commented on this photo:

    I Love Her, she is drop dead sexy,love those sad eyes. I’d make her forget all about what Daddy did to her when she was 12.

  45. Anthony Weiner Twitter Photo
    Dano
    Commented on this photo:

    Lady Gaga is up early

  46. Jennifer Aniston Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    Truly hot. Must see the other half of that picture.
    Also, Pippa Middleton has no business being in an Aniston post when Jen’s magical behind would kill Pippas in an Ass-Off.

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