Jennifer Aniston Just Put On Weight, A Likely Story…

August 13th, 2013 // 20 Comments
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Jennifer Aniston looked like this at the premiere of We Are The Millers (And stomach touching. Scientifically-proving stomach touching.), so naturally none of us should think she’s pregnant because that shit is “exhausting” her. Via NY Daily News:

“It does feel a bit like they’ve exhausted the question, and also the speculations. It’s all been pretty much exhausted,” she said about all the talk regarding a wedding with fiancé Justin Theroux. “Why not just wait until we actually get to have the fun of announcing something, who wants to play the guessing game, whether it be (a) family wedding, this, that, the other thing.”
“No, there’s nothing to be announced,” Aniston insisted and indicated that the form-fitting dress she wore to the “Millers” premiere, which exposed a tiny belly bump was “just a couple of pounds” and nothing more.

“It’s like, can’t I have a movie to promote by stuffing my face to look pregnant so people constantly write how I’m pregnant without them really thinking I’m pregnant. Is that too much to ask? It is? — TASTE HARD NIP.” *decapitates interviewer*

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN


  1. Justy

    Interesting that she waited until after her movie opened successfully to shoot down the rumors. Fish has a point.

  2. Jennifer Aniston Pregnant Baby Bump Emma Roberts Were The Millers Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    from here it looks like she just gorged herself.

  3. Deacon Jones

    30 million fat cows sitting on their couch right now, watching Jerry Springer and their crying baby just howled in despair.

  4. Trek Girl

    Heh — I’m not buying that at all. She’s using that pregnancy stuff to her advantage. It’s fine, there’s not a problem with that, but it’s really easy to see.

  5. Randal

    Looks like Jen is eating fo 2! Congrats to Mama and Papa. Baby makes three!


  6. Jennifer Aniston Pregnant Baby Bump Were The Millers Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    She wears a skin tight dress which accentuates her growing belly THEN she gets upset when speculation arises as to her being pregnant! So ridiculous!

  7. She is Too Old to have a Baby

  8. “Hardest Working Nipples in Hollywood”… undefeated champion.

  9. JC

    I would actually pay good money to see a movie in which Jennifer Anniston is some kind of vigilante killer who at some point screams, “TASTE HARD NIP!”

  10. Maybe she’s not announcing anything until she’s well into the second trimester, which is how things used to be done back in my day (hint: Justin Bieber wasn’t even a gleam in his father’s eye, and we said things like “wasn’t even a gleam in his father’s eye”).

  11. Spot on analysis. She is a tabloid celebrity. That’s it. She is a classier Kardashian. She is yet another celebrity that publicists and studios continue telling us is a movie star, except no one cares to see her in movies. She was in a successful (if highly, highly overrated) television show a decade ago, and since then her most notable feat was having her actually a movie star husband leave her for another actual movie star. It is the entire reason she has any claim to fame today.

    The movies she is expected to carry fail, and the only movies she is in that succeed do so because she hitched her star to someone else’s wagon, so to speak. She plays the game. Only she is far more disingenuous about it because she likes to pretend that she doesn’t. The silly-ass “game” she, her team and those like her try to play is “exhausting.”

  12. Robb7

    Hey, I agree, she’s a shit actress. But dammit her movies make millions. I guess there are tons of fans out there for this over-the-hill ingenue. Love the hard nips, though.

  13. Well, she looks pregnant in every single picture, from every angle, so I’m going to have to agree that maybe finally, after hundreds of false alarms, she is probably actually with child.

  14. Colin

    She is one of the most vain actresses out there. She’s so desperate to avoid looking old or unattractive do you really think she’d go out looking like this by accident?

  15. Jennifer Aniston Pregnant Baby Bump Were The Millers Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Just a few pounds, huh? She needs to tell me how to get all my fat to lump in the perfect shape of pregnancy and not all over my body!

  16. anonym

    her uterus is broken. She can’t have a baby, or else brad pitt would have knocked her up years ago

  17. Carl

    Desperate for sure. I would not rule out that she put a pillow under there.

  18. Maz

    IVF treatment causes a big tummy, the drugs that stimulate egg production. My guess is she busy harvesting at the moment.

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