Report: Jennifer Aniston’s Breasts Look Pregnant

November 8th, 2011 // 63 Comments

According to Hollywood Life, Jennifer Aniston‘s breasts look pregnant in this picture from last night’s Glamour Women of the Year Awards, and since I believe in journalism so much, I decided to look deeply into them. Granted, I have absolutely no clue how to tell if a woman is pregnant (See: This entire site.), I’m willing to meet in the middle here and say Brad Pitt knocked her up with a child he’ll adopt with Angelina Jolie over Christmas. That way everyone wins. Except Jennifer Aniston, of course but, eh, she’s used to it. I honestly think she likes it.

Photos: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. cc

    I’d spend so much time having fun with those two pairs of breasts I’d get carpal tunnel syndrome.

    • Any Guy

      Chelsea Handler is one UNFUNNY UGLY bitch. wow.

    • My My My Man

      The day Jennifer Aniston gets pregnant ~ NEVER…. Gee, how in the name of Angelina can she get pregnant when Jolie has her man! The woman is so blatently “not over” her break up!! She is getting a little scary don’t you think some Seven (7) years after the relationship ends she still does not even have a Partner that I can see ~ unless you count her conveniently publicized trists with her co-stars. Come on. The woman needs a year off and a good shrink! And hanging out with Chelsea Handler does her no good in my book. If I need to apologize for this ~ I will do it now.

  2. Chicken Choker

    Watching these two press their breasts together was too much for me.

    I now have to go clean up myself and my keyboard.

  3. Chelsea Handler Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    Grand Dragon
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a 54 year old Jewish yenta

  4. Clarence Beeks

    Chelsea is ugly.

    Jen looks great,, but she’s pushing up her boobs. Not pregnant.

  5. Chelsea Handler Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    There are a lot of confusing shapes going on in this photo.

  6. Casey

    Is there anything natural left on Jennifer’s face?

  7. Richard McBeef

    It’s called a MUF – Mandatory Ugly Friend. All women have one, it makes them look better by comparison.

  8. All four of them look great!

  9. Jennifer’s breasts were impregnated by the dude standing next to her in the picture.

  10. Chelsea Handler Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    If her birthdate is to be believed, I am the same age as her…her appearance gives a bad name to 36 year olds everywhere.

  11. Let’s hope Jennifer doesn’t like black microphone like Chelsea Handler.

  12. Chelsea Handler Jennifer Aniston Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    sooooooosuperficial
    Commented on this photo:

    No way that’s Jennifer Aniston, there are no protruding nips. And we all know it would take NASA’s most exotic carbon fiber tape to hold those puppies at bay.

  13. Jimbob

    JA has had small implants for a few years. They are so discreet that they are hard to detect except in B and A shots. They are pushed up a bit by a good bra underneath and implants inside.

  14. Chelsea Handler Jennifer Aniston Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    Snack pack
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t decide if I will enjoy the predictable cunty bleating snipes from Handler once this powerless couple breaks up.

  15. Rico Jones

    Chelsea Handler is the ugly bitch we would all fuck but never mention.

    • Damien Karras

      Speak for yourself. Unless you count good intentions as fucking, I couldn’t sport wood for that chick.

  16. Snack pack

    Did you all miss Fish’s brilliance on this one. The whole post was about Jen’s boobs and nothing about the goat next to her. Well played, Fish.

  17. Chelsea Handler Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    Snack pack
    Commented on this photo:

    Compressed Michelin-man torso, and some kinda junk in the crotch. Then there’s the too-tall hair, and the just out-of-place-trying-too-hard everything else. Send it back!

  18. Chelsea Handler Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    celebutard
    Commented on this photo:

    They won’t be “besties” any more once Chelsea sees what her friend let her wear…out in public…to an event…with cameras.

  19. Chelsea Handler Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    justagirl
    Commented on this photo:

    fire the stylist, STAT. Not a good look.

  20. Venom

    Chelsea Handler is the antithesis of Jennifer Aniston.
    Uggh.

  21. Do Freebird

    Q> Easiest way to look ten years younger?
    A> Stand next to Chelsea Handler

  22. Chelsea Handler Jennifer Aniston Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    slippinx12
    Commented on this photo:

    Chelsea looks like her gum just hit the dessert phase…

  23. Chelsea Handler Jennifer Aniston Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    slippinx12
    Commented on this photo:

    Butch Lesbian and the Lipstick Kid

  24. TomFrank

    Weren’t we all waiting for Chelsea to break off her friendship with Jennifer after Aniston stole Justin Theroux from his longtime girlfriend? Because of how much Chelsea denounced Angelina Jolie for stealing Brad Pitt away from her? I guess it’s okay when it’s YOUR friend who’s doing it.

  25. Jamie

    Totally pregnant. Aside from the boobs it’s her face that gives it away. Pregnant women get a puffiness along the jaw line and under the eyes that’s a dead give-away. Trust me, I’m on baby #4 right now…

  26. JC

    Jen is a babydoll no matter what. I have always loved her.

  27. JC

    I would love to meet her. She is soooo beautiful.

  28. Chelsea Handler Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    Winnie
    Commented on this photo:

    YES, but thats what a ’36 year old’ might wear, unfortunately she looks like a 66 year old, in her 36 year old daughters outfit.

  29. Chelsea Handler Jennifer Aniston Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    Mike Walker
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a garbage bag full of Nerf balls.

  30. Bonky

    How can Jennifer get pregnant when her “boyfriend” only cums when he watches gay porn ?

  31. Upskirt Celebs

    I want her to take a dump on my chest.

  32. Dixie Wrecked

    Chelsea & Jennifer, neither could act their way through a whorehouse scene in a 7th grade play. Jennifer is about as exciting as warm toast and Chelsea is just a trailer park skank.

  33. Chelsea Handler Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    cp3
    Commented on this photo:

    No Chelsea. Just, NO.

  34. forrest gump

    since when they sell PUSH UP BRA’S, folks?

  35. Chelsea Handler Jennifer Aniston Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    Lord Invader
    Commented on this photo:

    Chelsea Handler’s teeth look pregnant.

  36. Chelsea Handler Jennifer Aniston Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    Gray
    Commented on this photo:

    Kind of grown weary of this chick. woke one day and all the hype and her wrinkled knees just reached it’s saturation point.

  37. Oh fuck yeah… in a heartbeat. Neither one of them would be able to sit down for a week.

    :)

  38. Chelsea Handler Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    jt
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like a freakin alien. and can you imagine what an annoying self-centered gf she’d be. breasts or no breasts. not worth it.

  39. Chelsea Handler Jennifer Aniston Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    DC
    Commented on this photo:

    Chelsea Handler not looking haggard as fuck? Nice.

  40. Jennifer Aniston Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    toosexy
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks amazing!!!!

  41. Chauncey

    In the old days we would say they looked like saggy old lady breasts.

  42. Taz

    Jen is hot!

  43. Chelsea Handler Jennifer Aniston Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    clampet
    Commented on this photo:

    which one butch one?

  44. Pregnant, shmegnant, whatever – she’s been consistently hot ever since she came stumbling into Central Perk in a wedding gown. Hot hottie is hot.

  45. Chelsea Handler Jennifer Aniston Glamour Woman Of The Year Awards
    Auth
    Commented on this photo:

    Good for you Jen! Hot Man and a big hit movie, Enjoy. Natalie, you are sooo right I didn’t realize there was such a good lonkiog guy behing the nasty

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