According to Hollywood Life, Jennifer Aniston‘s breasts look pregnant in this picture from last night’s Glamour Women of the Year Awards, and since I believe in journalism so much, I decided to look deeply into them. Granted, I have absolutely no clue how to tell if a woman is pregnant (See: This entire site.), I’m willing to meet in the middle here and say Brad Pitt knocked her up with a child he’ll adopt with Angelina Jolie over Christmas. That way everyone wins. Except Jennifer Aniston, of course but, eh, she’s used to it. I honestly think she likes it.
Photos: Getty, Splash News
I’d spend so much time having fun with those two pairs of breasts I’d get carpal tunnel syndrome.
Chelsea Handler is one UNFUNNY UGLY bitch. wow.
I love breasts though
The day Jennifer Aniston gets pregnant ~ NEVER…. Gee, how in the name of Angelina can she get pregnant when Jolie has her man! The woman is so blatently “not over” her break up!! She is getting a little scary don’t you think some Seven (7) years after the relationship ends she still does not even have a Partner that I can see ~ unless you count her conveniently publicized trists with her co-stars. Come on. The woman needs a year off and a good shrink! And hanging out with Chelsea Handler does her no good in my book. If I need to apologize for this ~ I will do it now.
Watching these two press their breasts together was too much for me.
I now have to go clean up myself and my keyboard.
Looks like a 54 year old Jewish yenta
hahahahhahaha!
Chelsea is ugly.
Jen looks great,, but she’s pushing up her boobs. Not pregnant.
There are a lot of confusing shapes going on in this photo.
Is there anything natural left on Jennifer’s face?
My warm wad.
It’s called a MUF – Mandatory Ugly Friend. All women have one, it makes them look better by comparison.
oh, and guys don’t?
please.
Actually, I’m the Mandatory Ugly Friend of my group.
Guys don’t have a MUF. But when I go out to the bars, I bring my BAF – Broke Ass Friend. It makes the $12 I have look like a fortune. You have to play the game with respect to what the opposite sex wants.
Not straight guys at least.
or DUFF Designated Ugly Fat Friend
All four of them look great!
Jennifer’s breasts were impregnated by the dude standing next to her in the picture.
If her birthdate is to be believed, I am the same age as her…her appearance gives a bad name to 36 year olds everywhere.
Let’s hope Jennifer doesn’t like black microphone like Chelsea Handler.
asshat!
Sorry, that’s just an image I couldn’t handle.
No way that’s Jennifer Aniston, there are no protruding nips. And we all know it would take NASA’s most exotic carbon fiber tape to hold those puppies at bay.
JA has had small implants for a few years. They are so discreet that they are hard to detect except in B and A shots. They are pushed up a bit by a good bra underneath and implants inside.
I can’t decide if I will enjoy the predictable cunty bleating snipes from Handler once this powerless couple breaks up.
Chelsea Handler is the ugly bitch we would all fuck but never mention.
Speak for yourself. Unless you count good intentions as fucking, I couldn’t sport wood for that chick.
Did you all miss Fish’s brilliance on this one. The whole post was about Jen’s boobs and nothing about the goat next to her. Well played, Fish.
No, that did not go unnoticed. I don’t know how he held back on that.
Then again, when the word “boobs” are mentioned, I usually lose all train of thought anyway.
Compressed Michelin-man torso, and some kinda junk in the crotch. Then there’s the too-tall hair, and the just out-of-place-trying-too-hard everything else. Send it back!
They won’t be “besties” any more once Chelsea sees what her friend let her wear…out in public…to an event…with cameras.
fire the stylist, STAT. Not a good look.
Chelsea Handler is the antithesis of Jennifer Aniston.
Uggh.
Q> Easiest way to look ten years younger?
A> Stand next to Chelsea Handler
Chelsea looks like her gum just hit the dessert phase…
Butch Lesbian and the Lipstick Kid
Weren’t we all waiting for Chelsea to break off her friendship with Jennifer after Aniston stole Justin Theroux from his longtime girlfriend? Because of how much Chelsea denounced Angelina Jolie for stealing Brad Pitt away from her? I guess it’s okay when it’s YOUR friend who’s doing it.
Totally pregnant. Aside from the boobs it’s her face that gives it away. Pregnant women get a puffiness along the jaw line and under the eyes that’s a dead give-away. Trust me, I’m on baby #4 right now…
Tip of the day: when its time for college, don’t send your boys to Penn State
those are fillers, Jamie. She’s been using them for a year now.
Jen is a babydoll no matter what. I have always loved her.
I would love to meet her. She is soooo beautiful.
YES, but thats what a ’36 year old’ might wear, unfortunately she looks like a 66 year old, in her 36 year old daughters outfit.
Looks like a garbage bag full of Nerf balls.
How can Jennifer get pregnant when her “boyfriend” only cums when he watches gay porn ?
I want her to take a dump on my chest.
Chelsea & Jennifer, neither could act their way through a whorehouse scene in a 7th grade play. Jennifer is about as exciting as warm toast and Chelsea is just a trailer park skank.
Estrogen-fueled comment.
No Chelsea. Just, NO.
since when they sell PUSH UP BRA’S, folks?
Chelsea Handler’s teeth look pregnant.
Kind of grown weary of this chick. woke one day and all the hype and her wrinkled knees just reached it’s saturation point.
Oh fuck yeah… in a heartbeat. Neither one of them would be able to sit down for a week.
:)
she looks like a freakin alien. and can you imagine what an annoying self-centered gf she’d be. breasts or no breasts. not worth it.
Chelsea Handler not looking haggard as fuck? Nice.
She looks amazing!!!!
In the old days we would say they looked like saggy old lady breasts.
Jen is hot!
which one butch one?
Pregnant, shmegnant, whatever – she’s been consistently hot ever since she came stumbling into Central Perk in a wedding gown. Hot hottie is hot.
Good for you Jen! Hot Man and a big hit movie, Enjoy. Natalie, you are sooo right I didn’t realize there was such a good lonkiog guy behing the nasty