Jennifer Aniston & Justin Therouz Got Engaged. For Real This Time.

August 13th, 2012 // 39 Comments
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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were rumored to get married this weekend – They didn’t. – so Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux probably feel pretty embarrassed that they got engaged at what they thought was the same time and now they have to get married. Suckers. People reports:

“Justin Theroux had an amazing birthday on Friday, receiving an extraordinary gift when his girlfriend, Jennifer Aniston, accepted his proposal of marriage,” his rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.

Oh, right, sure, he proposed to her because it was his “birthday.” Who the hell does that to a person?

“You got me a gift? I can’t wait to see what it is!”
“It’s years upon years of resentment and slowly hating each other until we get old and too used to each other to do anything about it.”
“…. Will it play MP3s?”
“I don’t care what you do anymore.”

SURPRISE!

Photos: Getty, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. jim

    Justin Therouz, he uses 5 minute for men to dye his fiery red hair jet black.

  2. Matey Perry

    Clearly he missed the pictures of her looking like Hillary Clinton last week.

  3. Ms. Whiplash

    I think it was actually HIS birthday, not hers. Weird, huh?

  4. Guesty

    Reading comprehension fail. It was his birthday, not hers.

  5. El Jefe

    He screams tool, and she screams bitch and desperate.

  6. Jennifer Aniston Justin Theroux Engaged
    Commented on this photo:

    “OK. Let’s do one without smiles. Now, look at the camera, and imagine saying ‘Fuck you, Brad and Angelina’ just with your eyes.”

  7. USDA Prime McBeef

    well played, david copperfield, well played.

  8. JC

    A good gift is something awesome you can unwrap. Promises of eternal ice vagina do not count in that category.

  9. I propose she should stop delaying the inevitable, and just go buy a dozen cats and a Hitachi vibrator.

  10. Whatevs

    Seriously, you people are crazy. The Brandgelina wedding rumors were shut down hours before this proposal even happened. It was Brad’s parent’s 50th wedding anniversary and that’s why they were supposedly in France. I’m sure Jen knows Brad would never upstage something like that with a wedding of his own. You people are like birthers. Conspiracy theories EVERYWHERE. LOL

  11. Ana

    Not according to his smile they aren’t. At least, not willingly.

  12. Beaver Underground

    Scientists do say desperate premenopausal women have the strength of three men. Justin didn’t stand a chance. He now secretly watches reruns of The Proposal hoping to fall in love with Aniston.

  13. Frank Burns

    Oh, happy day!!! A world rejoices for you Jen, and thanks you for news that distracts us from the accomplishments of gold-medal Olympians! I do hope the marriage happens quickly, so that Jen can get back to making unwatchable romantic comedies, romances with comedic overtones, and comedies with romantic overtones. Look, children are prancing and dancing around the village square, tossing flower petals about in celebration of this most jubilant of announcements! Hey, you little bitch, don’t get those on my car!

  14. I guess they are more than just Friends.

  15. catapostrophe

    Chick-fil-A will not endorse this union.

  16. Jennifer Aniston Justin Theroux Engaged
    wahoo
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy must have a great big “personality” cause he sure ain’t handsome…

  17. And not a single fuck was given that day.

  18. Who's your mama

    Well, isn’t that specia-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

  19. tom

    I assume she thought she’d better hurry if she wants to be primipara. Hence the random guy around the corner choice.

  20. Royb

    I’m sorry, but she still looks like Sean Penn in drag. Have never been able to figure out what the big deal is about her.

  21. Alex

    I love it! “Oh, right, sure, he proposed to her because it was his “birthday.” Who the hell does that to a person?” Ha! He did it because he was forced to after Star magazine’s article last week which revealed their relationship is done-zo. Talk about timing. It’s so sad/crazy the lengths people will go to to cover up problems (cough, cough Jennifer Aniston..)

  22. anonym

    Is she able to have a baby?
    I have my doubts, since brad pitt failed to knock her up

  23. !!!!!!!

    who didnt see this coming? she’s worth hundreds of millions and he’s worth $29.95. can’t wait to see the ring she bought herself.

  24. Jennifer Aniston Justin Theroux Engaged
    Commented on this photo:

    Well…It is Shark Week…

  25. Jennifer Aniston Justin Theroux Engaged
    Mike Walker
    Commented on this photo:

    NICE NOSEJOB BARBARA!! HEY CAN I GET A REFILL OVER HERE!!?? ANYBODY?!!

  26. He looks like he owns a zoot suit.

  27. Jennifer Aniston Justin Theroux Engaged
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn she’s fine.

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