Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were rumored to get married this weekend – They didn’t. – so Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux probably feel pretty embarrassed that they got engaged at what they thought was the same time and now they have to get married. Suckers. People reports:
“Justin Theroux had an amazing birthday on Friday, receiving an extraordinary gift when his girlfriend, Jennifer Aniston, accepted his proposal of marriage,” his rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.
Oh, right, sure, he proposed to her because it was his “birthday.” Who the hell does that to a person?
“You got me a gift? I can’t wait to see what it is!”
“It’s years upon years of resentment and slowly hating each other until we get old and too used to each other to do anything about it.”
“…. Will it play MP3s?”
“I don’t care what you do anymore.”