Jennifer Aniston Made Justin Theroux Shave His Beard

July 8th, 2011 // 56 Comments

When she wasn’t talking about Brad Pitt again – that’s how you know she has a movie coming out – Jennifer Aniston apparently found time to make Justin Theroux shave his beard off because the first rule of Ice Vagina Club is don’t talk about Ice Vagina Club. (Rule #2: No facial hair.) Granted, he could’ve done it of his own free will to look admittedly handsome – I didn’t mean nothin’ by it, Jon Hamm! – keep in mind this is a woman who dumped John Mayer for using Twitter (Note the clean-shaven face), so she’s clearly a fan of the short leash. Which, in her defense, is understandable considering a tattooed harpie snatched her last husband up with her child-grabbers. Although rigging explosives to Justin’s testicles that go off if he even glances at a Vietnamese kid is a little extreme. There’s gotta be a line.

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. irina

    “. . . understandable considering a tattooed harpie snatched her last husband up with her child-grabbers.” HAHAHAHA

  2. NennyKins

    On her knees. Where she belongs.

  3. NennyKins

    On her knees. Mhmm.

  4. JR

    The look on Justin Theroux’s face: “I’ve made a huge mistake.”

  5. Jennifer Aniston Justin Theroux Shaved
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That is MUCH better.
    Good luck buddy.

  6. Jennifer Aniston Justin Theroux Shaved
    God is Black
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously what does she see in him?The dude is already going bald, has more oil on his head than a Zippo lighter, and looks very gay .This is an improvement over Brad Pitt? Must be a penis thing……………….

  7. God is Black

    Seriously what does she see in him?The dude is already going bald, has more oil on his head than a Zippo lighter, and looks very gay .This is an improvement over Brad Pitt? Must be a penis thing……………….

  8. Cock Dr

    If new boyfriend fails to impregnate her within 6 months he’ll be kicked to the curb.

    • maybe less, she’s well into fetal dee-d’dee territory already. something tells me she’s going to gain that middle aged weight soon, and it may be her ass at the curb come december

      • Cock Dr

        I have a feeling new bf very much likes the VIP lifestyle….won’t be going anywhere unless she tells him to.

  9. I hope she shaved her beard too. Bearded clam, that is, of course. It’s only fair. Tit-for-tat.

  10. Steelerchick

    Admittingly yes he’s handsome and do-able.

  11. Coyote

    Does she keep his balls in her purse or a box at home on the dresser

  12. It keeps the chin hairs from inadvertently braiding with the pubes. One of them had to shave, and he seems to have drawn the short straw.

  13. the farting commenter

    *bbbbrrrrraaaaaaaaaappppppppppppppp*

    When she’s in that posture she’s about to pounce and crush her prey’s skull with a single blow of her sledge-hammer jaw.

    *braaap brip bloop bloop*

  14. papastryfe

    she didnt want him chafing her thighs while thawing out the ice vagina

  15. Facebook Me

    I think she has a secret yearning for Charlie Sheen, as in this dude resembles him. Am I the only one that sees this?

  16. bing

    Jennifer I want you to swallow my semen.

  17. Jennifer Aniston Justin Theroux Shaved
    The Everlasting Know-it-all
    Commented on this photo:

    If that’s what it takes to get your face between those thighs, then by all means shave that shit off. :)

  18. I guess there’s only room for one alpha male in that household.

  19. Jennifer Aniston Justin Theroux Shaved
    ferball
    Commented on this photo:

    richard nixon anyone?

  20. cc

    That guys going to be bald as fuck in about two years. Max.

  21. cc

    Lindsay Lohan’s assistant, Blow Job, thought Jen was being fingerprinted so he jumped in to help her out.

  22. Venom

    She is in desperation mode and still looks pretty hot.

  23. Finally answering the question Brad Pitt asked for years. What does it take to get this bitch on her knees??

  24. I guess you guys have never done this before. You need to get her in at least to to her elbows if we wanna get that block in the river any time soon….

  25. Angelina

    She looks so radiant and happy. Stealing a man from another woman is the ultimate ego boast. GO JEN!

    • COX

      HEY, CHELSEA HANDLERS. YOUR BEST FRIEND JENIFER ANISTON IS 100% HOMEWRECKER. SHAME ON YOU. BIG MOUTH BITCH

  26. Jennifer Aniston Justin Theroux Shaved
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG! There’s a good looking man under that shaggy face frou frou! All men in Hollywood must shave their faces! I decree!

  27. the captain

    well, I take her more serious than yesterday.

  28. Jennifer Aniston Justin Theroux Shaved
    lovelyladyhumps
    Commented on this photo:

    I find it hilarious that he’s the premature ejaculator from Sex and the City.

  29. Jennifer Aniston Justin Theroux Shaved
    lovelyladyhumps
    Commented on this photo:

    nice outfit grandma

  30. LJ

    Jen: “You know when your head’s between my legs it kinda reminds me of days when Brad wouldn’t shave.”
    Justin: Runs to the bathroom and shaves.
    Jen: “Oh, that’s much better…..let me feel that face and tongue again, and I’ll suck you off for being so nice.”

    Justin will now shave every day.

    I’ve been there.

  31. Minerva Smelibut

    If she’s his beard, then he need to dump the other

  32. Yikes

    Wow, he cheated on his longtime girlfriend for ANISTON? Really? He must be hard up for fame. I doubt Aniston is doing anything to float his boat. He just wants to see his face on the tabloids right next to hers.

    • TomFrank

      ^^”I never heard of this guy before this story broke, but I know instantly what his motives must be.”

    • BE

      I think Jen’s dating problems are the direct result of the Brangelina hangover.. EVERY interview they bring it up. If Aniston dares utter a peep of it, it’s splashed all over the media. Then the next celebrity that wants to raise his profile through free publicity lines up to date her. EVERY guy she’s dated since her divorce has gotten a huge boost from her notoriety.

      So, I still feel sorry for Aniston, and hope she lands a stand up guy.

      I don’t think Aniston is even near Jolie’s ball park. After 14 years of shacking up without marrying or having kids, it sounds like it was really going to end anyway. Fourteen years of limbo equals neither side being very committed.

      And how does this equal Jolie’s obsession with separating men from their girlfriends and wives in between freely sleeping with women? I mean Aniston was victim number four but if she swung a certain way, I’m guessing Pitt could have just as easily been a victim. Fortunately (?) for Brad Pitt, Angelina’s obsession morphed into getting as many kids as she could pop out or adopt while trying to singlehandedly save the world. Jolie always comes across as a massively screwed up individual. Men get sucked into women like that because they find initially find it interesting – but face it – they’re just high maintenance in a weird way. Perhaps Pitt found Aniston just too normal and easy, huh?

      Don’t expect Brangelina to last forever – unless they’ve actually grown up enough to behave for the sake of the kids (One hopes). But since Jolie has vowed not to marry, I wouldn’t bet the farm on that one…

  33. Jennifer Aniston Justin Theroux Shaved
    JWP
    Commented on this photo:

    I have no idea who Justin Theroux is, but he is super duper hot and I’d do him before Brad Pitt any and every day of the week.

  34. Mat

    He Finally looks like Bryce from American Psycho again.

  35. Jennifer Aniston Justin Theroux Shaved
    Licialicia
    Commented on this photo:

    Jen’s changing. She stopped tanning, her hair is blonder (and looks really damaged) and that dress is fuggie fugenstein. Every other time in the world she rocks classic timeless styles but the day she gets her star, she comes out wearing a dress that looks like the one I sewed in 8th grade home ec.

  36. Casey

    Is this bitch really getting her prints at the Chinese Theater? What the fuck?

    • boala

      My sentiments exactly….if this airhead who can barely read her lines can have a star it means I could probably buy one too! Yaaaaay

  37. Jennifer Aniston Justin Theroux Shaved
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like that Weiner dude.

  38. Jennifer Aniston Justin Theroux Shaved
    Human nature
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks all coked-up. Apparently our Friend Jen is big on the herb and the nose candy. Anything to stay thin and laid back, right Jen?

  39. Tom

    Jenifer Aniston is bad girl who fugly home wrecker

  40. Joseph

    I have officially lost all respect for beardist Aniston if this is true.

Leave A Comment