Jennifer Aniston is a Homewrecker Now, The Circle is Complete…

Since what feels like the dawn of time, Jennifer Aniston has constantly portrayed herself as the poor innocent victim of an “uncool” Angelina Jolie. The wholesome girl next door left to die by a tattooed homewrecker in her quest to collect all the world’s children. So going through that experience, you’d just assume Jennifer Aniston would be sensitive to avoid ruining a relationship herself, except she’s over 40 now, so fuck that shit, mama’s gonna die soon. Page Six reports:

Sources tell us Hollywood costume designer Bivens “is devastated” after [Justin] Theroux abruptly ended their relationship as he got close to Aniston
Aniston, 42, and Theroux, 39, met last fall on the set of “Wanderlust,” due in October, but in recent weeks they have become inseparable.
A source told us, “Heidi is heartbroken. She was completely blindsided. She and Justin had been together for years, they had a home. Then he met Jennifer and everything changed. At first he claimed he and Jen were friends.”
A rep for Bivens confirmed to Page Six: “Heidi and Justin have been together for 14 years. They met when she was 20 years old and he 24, and yes, she just moved out of their home last weekend. She has no comment.”

Of course, some might say this is Justin Theroux’s fault just like it was Brad Pitt’s for banging Angelina Jolie on the side, but those people need to shut the hell up because “Jennifer Aniston: Homewrecker” is a way sexier headline than, “Dude Gets Bored With Same Vagina He’s Been Looking At For 14 Years.” I’m not going back to retail.

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