Jean-Claude Van Damme still losing the kick-boxing fight known as ‘life’

May 19th, 2008 // 74 Comments

Jean-Claude Van Damme posed on his hotel balcony this morning while in France attending Cannes. He unleashed his trademark super-high kick to show that, yes, he’s still got it. What exactly “it” is remains open to debate.*

*But not really; The man has Smurf nuts. Boom! Case closed. Now, who wants burritos?

superficial

  1. Geoff

    Check out his Van-balls… (ew)

  2. caljenna66

    How nice that he can get ‘roids on his Medicare.

  3. Anything is better than Amy Whinewhore..

  4. There ya go, girls. Now stop complaining about all the bikini pictures.

  5. Yosemite Sami

    I met him once, in all places Yosemite at Christmas, and he was a very polite gentleman, and he even poured me some Orange Juice. He was with the woman who killed the Herbal Life heir, and he seemed really bored with her. I like him!

  6. caljenna66

    And I can do a high kick too if I hang onto my leg and a railing…

  7. OC Dee

    Nice body!

  8. Vegi

    I tried to kick high and I accidentially farted and some poop squired out!

  9. goob

    Will someone please put this old horse down?

  10. my comment

    He’s perfect, just put a bag over his face.

  11. Fish, at least link the clip of the ERECTION he got on live TV. I spend about half of my “work” time flicking the bean to this gem:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_0kKACp11Y

  12. gotmilk?

    i love how he’s ramming his junk between the rails in the first two pictures. fucking gross man.

  13. I totally forgot about this dude. Fuck! He was an 80′s karate posterboy. He must be 50-60 years old, now! Not bad for his age, you gotta admit.

  14. dina

    I always thought he looked nasty, ESPECIALLY those legs when he’s doing that stupid high kick. Men do NOT need to shave their legs. Gross

  15. poor jean claude…i remember hearing that he got his ass kicked in a fistfight.

  16. poor jean claude…i remember hearing that he got his ass kicked in a fistfight.

  17. Who Cares

    Well at least at his age he is still looking good and can still kick the fuck out of 99.9% his own age so I wouldn’t be so fast to cut him down.

    Without understanding karate or even being in a fight which is about 99.9% of the posts here, trust me, he is still a very bad man.

  18. I have a fantasy where he lifts his leg like that and rubs his sweaty hairy balls all over my face and mouth.

  19. havoc

    Remember when he didn’t have to use his hand to get his leg up in the air?

    Yeah,,,,,,

    .

  20. Deva

    He actually looks good for his age. Minus the 5 year-old sized nuts…..

  21. veggi

    I remember when I didn’t have to use a crane to get my ass up in the air…

  22. Joco

    Chuck Zito KO’d Jean at the Scores strip club in NYC. Don’t mess with Chuckie. He’s a Hells Angels member and was a juice collector for the NY mafia.

  23. He looks a lot like Rocco Sifreddi, only more gay.

  24. Tim

    You how I know you’re gay? You know the names of male porn stars.

  25. bosendorfer

    i saw him in 2003 at the end of washington blvd. on the south end of venice beach — near where washington hits the beach in that little restauranty area — just west of the canals. he was hanging onto an oddly-placed split-rail fence talking on his cell phone wearing a pink t-shirt and shorts. he’s probably 5’8″. he is in good shape, though. man, his star certainly faded — and with still so much to give. maybe in france that’s cool? (maybe in venice beach, too.)

  26. Yeah, that is a good kick… if he wasn’t holding onto the railing and holding his leg up at the same time… that makes it less impressive. I would also like assurance that he didn’t break his pelvis in the process of throwing that bad boy.

  27. Yeah, that is a good kick… if he wasn’t holding onto the railing and holding his leg up at the same time… that makes it less impressive. I would also like assurance that he didn’t break his pelvis in the process of throwing that bad boy.

  28. Erica the 18 year old

    #4. He’s not hot, AT ALL. So, I’m not satisfied. Being even cute involves a nice face. Sure, hot body. But grosss! He’s old.

  29. Frickin Weird

    Hell Yeah !!
    If that boy can spread his legs that wide open, I’d fuck him in his cute little ass in a heartbeat !! {{ (_|_) }}

  30. bill

    I always tried to ask all things about about this person.
    People say it is a member of a celeb club
    *** c e l e b m i n g l e . c o m ***
    I came there and met my rich bf.
    It’s a place to meet the rich/celebrity.

  31. Jen

    smurf nuts *snort* I damn near spray tea all over my keyboard. Expect a bill to arrive in your mailbox soon. Real soon.

  32. djcamerin

    Funny story about Van Damme…he was in Niagara Falls (Ontario side) at a casino a couple of weeks ago.

    A fan wanted to send two bottles of champagne over to him but when the waiter arrived Van Damme asked him to take the bottles back and give him the cash equivalent instead….

    I guess he wasn’t having such a good day at the tables!

  33. feararewishes

    I’d like to have his physique. I already have the tiny twig & berries, but I need the muscles. Should I take steriods?

  34. Burnett Terry

    I heard he’s directing a new movie in Bangkok this summer. A romantic/action flick that less on high kicks and more on substance. I’ve just seen his new film JCVD and I must admit Van-Damme is back, better then ever!!! It was a funny, tongue in cheek performance by a man no one realizes has the depth that he shown in this one.

  35. jesse

    I KNEW IT! YOU’RE ALL GAY!

  36. lobosolo

    i dont think van douche was ever involved in any kind of martial arts. i heard he was just some ballet dancer/actor. someone call up chuck norris and have him put an end to this nonsense.

  37. Ted from LA

    I loved this guy in the Partridge Family.

  38. sharpeidude

    #8 – I’ve done that, man! Unfortunately, I shit myself first and then I farted further smearing the poo-poo in my boxers. I can relate to your dilemma and I feel your pain!

  39. dude_on_a_wire

    @38 – I think we go back to another place and time – back when there was only one Internet. Think finance. need another clue? I could be off here but how many people could be using sharpeidude as an alias?

    – Van Damme posing in this set should be a reminder to everyone to never be a washed up action star who flexes in public while flaunting a small package.

  40. HagenONE

    I did not know Danny Bonaduce could kick that high.

  41. noneyobeezwax

    when did danny bonaduci (sp) get so buff?

  42. Ted from LA

    #41 and #42,
    See #37.

  43. He seems like a really nice european fella but for christ’s sake–why the fuck does he always do these leggy poses? it’s fucking gay as all fuck and it’s really really embarrassing? can someone get this poor guy a fucking agent or a managment team to tell him this stuff?

  44. He seems like a really nice european fella but for christ’s sake–why the fuck does he always do these leggy poses? it’s fucking gay as all fuck and it’s really really embarrassing? can someone get this poor guy a fucking agent or a managment team to tell him this stuff?

  45. bootlips

    I thought it was Danny Bonaduce too.

  46. This guy is still better looking and in better shape than 90% of the celebs half his age on this site, IE Britney Spears, Amy Wino…

    Mad props to JCVD!

  47. jzz

    Van Damn will always be awesome to me.

  48. shvlhd666

    You seem to forget, he was a ballet dancer and he doesn’t know shit about martial arts except for the few fighting sequences that he was taught for the movies. He is and always will be, LAME!!

  49. 453

    you can hate on him all you want , shit i aint even like him that much BUTTTT his new movie looks funny as fuck!!! for all uknowning lil growls…tis a movie bout himself pretty much, with a lot of self irony…loved the trailer

  50. TundraFire Nightfire

    Hot…Hot…Hot…you wish you looked that good, Mr. Superficial!

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