Jayden James Federline shows his face

June 7th, 2007 // 110 Comments
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Britney Spears was spotted in Hawaii with her kids and this is apparently the first “clear” shot of Jayden James Federline. I’m assuming he’s the one without the super wedgie, but all kids look the same so who knows. And I don’t know what happened since these pictures, but it’s hard to even comprehend that this ass and this ass are from the same person. The first one could be of a gun shot victim and it’d look just as related. Slightly less horrifying too.

UPDATE: Pictures now with more cow bell.

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Photo Credit: Ramey

  1. She has the body of a bag lady.

  2. Wonky

    Some kind of butt-double? That just doesn’t make any sense – or is lipo that good?

  3. haroof

    whoa, that ass looks high edible in these pics.

  4. Marion

    My best wishes to those kids. They need it.

    Senor Superfish: I’m a big fan, but maybe you could mix up the articles a little? All the titles are “(Celebrity) is (adjective, phrase)”, and all the articles end with “They could have (x) and it would be more (y)”. If you don’t believe me, look at the past five or six articles. A little variety, please? Still, I love the site. I like decent-sized pictures.

    Topic: where the hell is Kevin Federline? Should we be relieved or worried that we haven’t heard from him in a while? Who knows, maybe Lindsay Lohan will show up pregnant.

  5. DancingQueen

    Is there a part of her body that is NOT tattooed. Ugh. Tramp stamps R Us.

  6. Jimbo ∞

    So those previous pictures were photoshopped after all. The Britfans were right. I’ll be damned

  7. lindsay

    aw he’s cute

  8. woodhorse

    #7 2nd that photoshop opinion. Where is your friend – the cute one? Could only get absinthe today by ordering from New York and too late to celebrate Paris being in jail – I’ll be damned if I celebrate her getting out.

  9. Anexio

    Who’s that MILF in the yellow bikini, ya’all?

  10. wedgeone

    That boy has got a NICE ASS! I’m feeling all funny, like climbing a rope in gym class…

  11. I’m just gonna vomit if I have to see Britney in a friggin bikini again. It’s too depressing.

  12. Jes

    I don’t believe that bad ass shot was photoshopped …lighting has a lot to do with it!!!

  13. Donkey

    Maybe she should whip out a titty and start breast feed the little guy. Apparently, she would get a lot more people talking about her.

  14. kelly

    15th

  15. Brit and her dyke friend, AGAIN. ever notice how the bitch never smiles in photos when she has her kids?

    and she may as well just take that fucking wig off.

  16. Britney spears looks like a fatty patty to me.

    =P

    Can you please feature my blog on your website? I’ll give you a kiss on the cheek and a back rub.

    Love,
    Le Mars

    *******

    http://www.lemartian.blogspot.com/

  17. Ew, now I’m picturing Brit bald and lactating. I think that was a nightmare I had once.

  18. Britney spears looks like a fatty patty to me.

    =P

    Can you please feature my blog on your website? I’ll give you a kiss on the cheek and a back rub.

    Love,
    Le Mars

    *******

    http://www.lemartian.blogspot.com/

  19. Ew, now I’m picturing Brit bald and lactating. I think that was a nightmare I had once.

  20. Sorry about the double post. My internet bites.

  21. Ass looks good.

    Kid is a retard.

  22. Twitney Blows

    Paris Hilton is stealing all of Twitney’s headlines, so she had to bring out the other kid to get some attention.

  23. wedge1

    #11 – “Like climbing a rope in gym class”
    So funny that we all forgot to laugh, troll.

    Please open a tall can of go fuck yourself and take a very long swig from it.

  24. flavio

    ok, here’s my theory. in those last disgusting shots, she was jogging lightly or running or something. slow motion captures of people running always make them look like they have worse stretch marks / cellulite than they do. her ass is probably way out of shape, but its just muscle that isn’t properly toned, not tons of cottage cheese fat.

  25. kate

    How can you people say she looks fat? Sure she’s not in the shape she used to be but she looks fine, and for a woman who has given birth to two kids she is better than fine. She’s way thinner than the average lard arsed American.

  26. bungoone

    it’s a good thing she can pay all these people to carry her multitude of children around so she doesn’t have to.

    she might want to tighten up the top of the suit. support does wonders for the boobs. and i’ll assume those are tattoos hanging out the top of her bikini. i just can’t imagine someone having pubic hair THAT rampant.

  27. captain obvious

    Yeah, my theory too is that she’s not in that bad a shape but that the other photos weren’t photoshopped either. I think it was the motion; the fact that she was running, that pic caught what her body is capable of looking like if she starts losing muscle. She is probably very genetically predisposed to getting cellulite. And probably does have some already, it all depends on lighting, angle, etc to see it. I don’t get the boob thing though! In the Brit post before this one her boobs looked big. But as you can see in all her bikini pics, she does not have big ones. I don’t get it!!! I want to learn that trick dammit! Maybe its another camera angle thing or something.

  28. redsonja1313

    Does she do ANYTHING but flit from beach to beach and back to the tanning salon ??? Wow guess she will have skin cancer and look like the old lady from Something About Mary in her 30′s.

  29. WowJustWow

    Anyone surprised that this coarse-featured, thick legged no-talent Lousiana mugwump is falling apart like pulled pork at a Texas BBQ?

  30. BaldAsBritney

    She’s still built like an outside linbacker.

    Jus sayin’

  31. Jesus Christ Himself

    Where’s the tramp stamp in pic#7? I see it in #8 but not #7, even with the glare you should be able to see at least a little discoloration.

  32. Paris Hilton

    Yeah, good idea, distract yourselves with Britney…

    hahahahahahahahahaha!

    Jeeves, more champagne! And refill my cocaine sniffer when you get a chance.

  33. Britney please go back to eating salads and dancing!!! PLEASE! THat Ass is GROSSS!!

    http://www.innerdrama.com/

  34. leelee

    32– there’s no tramp stamp in those photos because it’s all a conspiracy to make us believe that Britney actually spends time with her kids. That’s not Britney, it’s probably them same person who was at the grassy knoll. She just wants us to believe that Britney is spending a pleasant day with her kids.

  35. Stoned Bored

    36!

    At least we all know she has a shaved vagine, and that’s enough for me.

    I’d put the weenie right in there.

  36. wedge1

    Guess the last of the “fat liquifying” injections finally completed their work, and the cellulite is now gone from the ass.

    Time to get working on the thunder thighs, you no-talent hack.

  37. Your Mother

    DancingQueen you are a whore.

  38. Paris Hilton

    I agree – Britney is a fat pig. NOT HOT!

    Hey, I like hanging out with you guys. It sure beats jail!

    Jeeves – you can serve the pate now…

  39. imran karim

    she reminds me of a gorilla. a big gorilla wearing a blond wig

    imran karim

  40. KatieKates

    Correction: Sean Preston is the kid with the super wedgie, not Jayden. You can tell who the bigger kid quite easily from the pictures.

    And if that is a clear shot of Jayden, I’ll eat my hat. You can still barely see the kid’s face.

  41. KatieKates

    Okay, duh, I misread that. The author said Jayden is the one WITHOUT the super wedgie. Durrr.

  42. wedge1

    Well now we’ve got that clarified! So Sean Preston is the one that turns me on. Seriously, don’t you guys think he already has a great ass? Lucky boy. I’d give anything to change his diapers just once – you’ve already got access to vaseline, and it’s not like he could really say anything to somebody afterwards.

  43. Paris Hilton

    Anybody want some Romanée Conti? It’s so yummy! I haven’t had any in, like, days! Ahhhhh…delicious…

  44. Chauncey Gardner

    Refresh my memory – does the emergence of Punxsutawney Federline today mean the season will be longer, or shorter?

  45. wedgewon

    #43 – STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!
    No one care about your immoral and perverse fetishes. Why do you persist?
    Edna is going to report you if you don’t quit.

  46. wedgeone

    So now I have 2 trolls (and it’s “one” not “won”, fucktard). Great. Fish, when the fuck are you going to fix TypeKey???

  47. Bitch

    are you people crazy or just blind? she looks great! 80% of the world’s population has worst asses i bet nearly all of you do so shut the hell up! the girl is trying and yes, she keeps on making mistakes, but her ass looks good so enough with the hating!

  48. raydurz

    Its called Photoshop.

  49. Hansel: So I’m repelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I’ll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize “Holy shit, Hansel, haven’t you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn’t some of this maybe be in your head?”

    Derek Zoolander: And?

    Hansel: And it was. I was totally fine. I’ve never even been to Mount Vesuvius.

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