Well that was the shortest mystery ever. Just hours after speculation over Britney Spears’ new baby, a birth certificate was filed at the L.A. County Registrar-Recorder’s office today confirming that the baby is indeed a boy but that his name is Jayden James Federline and not Sutton Pierce as previously reported.
And Kevin Earl Federline has about the worst signature I’ve ever seen. It’s not even a signature. It looks more like he’s concentrating to just print his name correctly. I’m surprised he was literate enough to write “Father” under his relationship to the child instead of drawing a little picture of a dinosaur.
seyoboy | October 24, 2006 at 11:39 am
Full of crap,,he is a boy haha
http://celebcorner.blogspot.com/
radio4play | October 24, 2006 at 11:42 am
fart
jrzmommy | October 24, 2006 at 11:45 am
Earl? Jesus Christ. The neck just keeps getting redder and redder with each day.
CelebSlam.com | October 24, 2006 at 11:45 am
Dammit! Jayden James was a perfect porn star name.
http://www.celebslam.com
Anastasia_Beaverhausen | October 24, 2006 at 11:54 am
K-fag’s middle name is ‘Earl’? It just keeps getting better…..
Ed Bambrick | October 24, 2006 at 12:19 pm
That signature is a forgery- the REAL K-Fed would just use an “x”, or just spit on the paper.
Glossed Over | October 24, 2006 at 12:24 pm
Oh, thank god, we no longer have to ponder the gender of the kid. Now, on to more important matters, like whether Nicole Kidman will attend the wedding of Tom and Katie…
http://glossedover.com
sharkbite | October 24, 2006 at 12:25 pm
So much for building up the suspense!
http://www.scandalsnappers.com
ponk | October 24, 2006 at 12:26 pm
just goes to show that Brit and kFed are regular readers of the ‘fish’. Thanks for updating us, you two.
jrzmommy | October 24, 2006 at 12:28 pm
jayden jambalaya john jacob jingleheimerschmidt jumpin joey jo jo…..
Christie | October 24, 2006 at 12:28 pm
#3 and #6
very funny! hehehe
I knew it would not be too long until the mystery was solved! It was Mr. Plum in the Library with the Wrench.
pinky_nip | October 24, 2006 at 12:29 pm
Father?
Fuck, it should just say “sperm donor”.
nicholelibra | October 24, 2006 at 12:32 pm
Superfish said:
And Kevin Earl Federline has about the worst signature I’ve ever seen. It’s not even a signature. It looks more like he’s concentrating to just print his name correctly. I’m surprised he was literate enough to write “Father” under his relationship to the child instead of drawing a little picture of a dinosaur.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nicholelibra says:
It’s no less than a fucking miracle that he or that hillbillie bitch understand the concept of a birth certificate. I half expected him to use it as rolling paper the moment the registrar gave it to him.
RichPort | October 24, 2006 at 12:38 pm
I’m surprised that illiterate fuck didn’t just grab a razor and plant a bloody thumbprint in the ‘name’ section.
simon134 | October 24, 2006 at 12:41 pm
“My name is Earl”
Fucking Douche!
HolisticWisdomcom | October 24, 2006 at 12:45 pm
Fascinating. No, I mean it, I am really excited, my life is now complete.
Awkward pause…
Okay, I admit it, I am being sarcastic.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
devodevo | October 24, 2006 at 12:46 pm
I think Peter from Family Guy really sums up Kevin Federline in this clip:
http://www.trade-movies.com/videos/load.php?in=KEVIN-FEDERLINE~9
hehehehe!
Angry Ferret Jones | October 24, 2006 at 12:49 pm
What fucking mystery are they talking about? I knew this evil little wee-gro’s name way back in September.
I remember the day well, as I had just forced Stool Pigeon to throat me.
http://angry-ferret.blogspot.com/2006/09/say-my-name-bitch.html
Kneecapped | October 24, 2006 at 12:50 pm
Better signature, Homer Simpson or K-Fed?
commissioner | October 24, 2006 at 1:06 pm
In my parts, we’d say those two come from “bad stock”.
Brain Embolism | October 24, 2006 at 1:08 pm
@15 simon134 – That used to be my favorite show too… not anymore!
yuckyfresh | October 24, 2006 at 1:19 pm
finally i will get a full night’s sleep!!!!
Flip21 | October 24, 2006 at 1:19 pm
I think it’s safe to say that Kevin Federline’s designation from now on should be “Earl.”
simon134 | October 24, 2006 at 1:20 pm
Undeserved sense of accomplishment for sure!
K-Fed, you are the BIGGEST Fucking Tool of my generation!
Bravo!
jrzmommy | October 24, 2006 at 1:22 pm
Now all I can hear is Juliette Lewis’s redneck whiney voice in Kalifornia…..”Earl-Lee….I’ll be waitin’ for ya when ya git home….” and then Brad Pitt’s follow-up…”A-dell, put your teet back in your dress!”
yuckyfresh | October 24, 2006 at 1:23 pm
#10 – joey jo jo jr. schabadoo???
devodevo – do i know you?
Italian Stallion | October 24, 2006 at 1:29 pm
I still think they should have just named him Fucked………
PrettyBaby | October 24, 2006 at 1:30 pm
Speaking of K-Fed, I noticed that idiot constantly makes these hilarious “Yo,Yo Homie, Word” hand motions that I guess are supposed to be like gang signals (?) My Lord, why oh why can’t I meet this guy just to taunt him with the love and then…. kick his ass.
shmoody | October 24, 2006 at 1:39 pm
JJ Spears — DYNOMITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Triumph Insult Dog | October 24, 2006 at 2:13 pm
J.J. Spears, now that’s funny?! This will put them right at the top of the Wigger newsletter. Right above “Vanilla Ice’s Birthday Coming Soon!”.
Another thing, how the heck does TMZ keep getting this stuff. There’s a rat in the house!…
http://www.blackbeatpress.com
frenchtoaststix | October 24, 2006 at 2:18 pm
Angry Ferret, you’re the man. I bow down to your superior celebrity knowing-it-allness.
Shmoody used the JJ/Dy-no-MITE joke I was planning to use.
Simon 134 also used the “My Name is Earl” comment I had reserved for backup.
It appears I have arrived too late at the ball!
shmoody | October 24, 2006 at 2:23 pm
@31 I will give you back the joke if you give me some french toast sticks . . . yummm
ponk | October 24, 2006 at 3:13 pm
K-Earl (pronounced Kay-Hurl)?
sayll | October 24, 2006 at 4:01 pm
Hate to rain on your parade, especially since he is such a douche and all, but I don’t think that’s KE-Fed’s signature. I think it’s that Katz guy listed underneath.
However, nothing can change the fact that his middle name matches his fashion sense.
Toonlite | October 24, 2006 at 5:08 pm
the baby is actually the one they used in the Suri Cruise shoot….damn that kid gets around!
KelKel | October 24, 2006 at 9:31 pm
Jayden? Sutton? Who gives a fuck,just pimp out his crib into a shiny Double Wide and call him Billy-Ray why dont ya.
libtard | October 25, 2006 at 2:47 am
shmoody, well played old chap! Now lets see if it sticks.
YoMamma | October 25, 2006 at 6:39 am
Is it me, or is it weird to have a scheduled C-section at 1 in the morning….
Pavarottie | October 25, 2006 at 4:00 pm
What’s even more sad is the nice literate people who prepared the certificate typed the DATE of the signing on the form…but K-Earl still wrote it in wrong beside his sad excuse for a signature. Go figure.
frenchtoaststix | October 25, 2006 at 4:14 pm
#32: french toast stix are even better when battered in beer and dunked in gin.
Truthseeker013 | October 30, 2006 at 7:23 pm
It’s White Trash Heaven…(swooning)
HollywoodSnark | March 22, 2007 at 9:53 am
lol, i guess we’re all saved weeks or months of retarded coverage