Jay Leno set to return to ‘The Tonight Show’

After convincing an entire television network to ass-rape one man’s dreams of hosting The Tonight Show, Jay Leno will return to his old show in its original time slot. TMZ reports:

We’re told NBC honchos still have to sit down with Jay’s rep and put the finishing touches on a new deal, but NBC has signed off on the plan if Conan O’Brien leaves … and Conan has made it clear that he’s leaving the network, and not on good terms.

Jesus, NBC, Conan O’Brien’s body is still warm. Why don’t you have sex with his wife next? Actually, no, wait. Forget I said that. I don’t want Leno getting any ideas that you’ll toss babies out of a window to accommodate.

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