Khal Drogo Is Aquaman? Why Not?

June 16th, 2014 // 21 Comments
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Of all the superheroes who are the constant butt of jokes, Aquaman is usually at the top of that list (See: Entourage, swamp wang), so Zack Snyder‘s going to try and change all that by casting Jason Momoa and presumably have him bang Emilia Clarke right in front of Batman‘s face. It’s the only move here. HitFix reports:

Someone else who’s not particularly happy about what happened in [Man of Steel] is Aquaman. I’m not sure if that’s the actual name they’ll use or not, but what we’re hearing is that he is not pleased about the World Engine and what it did to the Indian Ocean. He will not have a major role in the film, but he will make an appearance, and it definitely sets him up to return once Snyder gets to “Justice League.”

So basically Aquaman will show up at some point to beat the shit out of Superman, and then they’ll become best friends. Which will happen either before or after Batman shows up and also beats the shit out of Superman, and then they, too, become best friends. Apparently you can’t just walk up to the guy and say “What’s up?”

“Hey, how ya doin’? I’m Aquaman. So, listen, you know that alien thing in the Indian Ocean? Literally boiled a whole bunch of my people. Just boiled them right to death.”
“Oh, really? It did? I must’ve missed that while I was getting terraformed in the face.”
“Aw, shit, now I feel like a dick. This is why I should’ve just stabbed you with a swordfish.”
“It woulda been less rude. Just puttin’ that out there.”

Photo: Getty

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  1. cc

    I’m glad he’ll have the opportunity to follow up on his string of successes.

  2. Cock Dr

    How does a person coax their eyebrows into that sort of configuration? Does he have a live in brow stylist?

  3. Jason

    Other than “Superfriends”, did anybody ever really read Aquaman comics?

  4. Sure, his height and frame are the result of genetics, but the douchiness is just good old-fashioned hard work.

  5. Short Round

    Only know him from Stargate Atlantis where his performance was somewhat… wooden. So, well, at least he’ll float.

  6. Affleck is Batman, so at this point does it even fucking matter?

  7. This movie is starting to bloat. They don’t want to invest the cash to do proper origin storylines like Marvel, but they want in on some of Avengers action.

    They don’t understand that shortcuts will hurt them in the end.

  8. This movie is going to be such a clusterfuck.

  9. The New 52 Aquaman run was really great. However, like most of the New 52, it got pretty crappy after about 14 issues. The exception in my mind being the Flash while Manapul and Buccelleto (I like their work but not enough to look up the proper way to spell their names) were doing the book. I’d have kept reading that one as long as they were writing and drawing Barry.

  10. Me

    God, he’s hot. I’d do him every way from here to Sunday.

  11. dennis

    So where the hell were all these “superfriends” when the Kyrptonians first showed up and threatened Earth if they didn’t give up Kal El?

    This storyline is almost as bad as Lois Lane getting dropped off at the Kent farm by a police officer while shouting “Clark” as loud as she can with Superman and Martha standing on the porch.

  12. I like the “Family Guy” take on Aquaman. Asking a fish to fetch him a coffee, and try to keep the salt water out. The fish even complains that he’s abusing his powers.

    Aquaman and Ant Man, the two most formidable heroes in the non-mammalian world.

    Seriously, though, after whooping hundreds of inhuman, feeds-on-human, non-mammalian “Wraith” in the Pegasus Galaxy, Jason Momoa can probably play Aquaman in his sleep. And will.

  13. So, I must admit that I’m only really familiar with Aquaman from The Big Bang Theory, but I fully support Khal Drogo playing him. I’ll even give his stupid eyebrow slashes a pass.

  14. Gom

    The eyebrow slash is part of a scar he got in fight. He was slashed across the face with a broken bottle…..or knife….can’t remember.

  15. Well who did you expect? Vincent Chase?

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