Jared Leto and Jessica Simpson get it on


A source close to Jared Leto has revealed to People that he and Jessica Simpson are “an item.” Leto met Simpson at Los Angeles nightclub Hyde on June 2 and managed to get her number. Four nights later, after partying at Plumm in New York, he headed to Double Seven where he met up with Simpson again.

“They were hanging all over each other,” says a witness. Still, a source close to Simpson tells PEOPLE, “Jessica is not dating anyone,” and the singer’s rep insists, “She is single.” Adds Leto’s rep, “There is no truth to these rumors.”

There has to be a rational explanation for why every man in Los Angeles and New York seems to gravitate towards Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, or Paris Hilton. Maybe their vaginas have been stuffed with so much matter they’ve collapsed into themselves and have formed mini black holes.