And Now The Jared Leto Dick GIF

A few weeks ago, we learned that Jared Leto has a giant penis with a head shaped like a Praetorian Guard thanks to Alexis Arquette’s remarkably accurate knowledge of Roman helmets. And now here’s a GIF of Jared Leto grabbing said Roman warrior penis from a since-deleted YouTube video of a live 30 Seconds To Mars performance because the ladies, and always welcomed cock-loving gents, who somehow keep visiting the site get the shaft 99% of the time, so for once I decided to literally give them a shaft. You can see it move and everything, so it’s like we’re finally watching the ARPANET deliver all the dreams it promised except for that one where a beautiful cyber-woman cooks a delicious digital roast. You bastards lied.

Jared Leto Grabbing Dick

(h/t ONTD via Dlisted)

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