Jared Fogle’s Wife Filing For Divorce

“She’s not even the age I like. Am I supposed to be mad? Pass me that mayo.”

Earlier today, I jokingly tied Jared Fogle to the Duggars. Except now I feel bad because his wife is actually taking the kids and getting the fuck out instead of pooping out an entire soccer team’s worth because Jesus. E! News reports:

“Obviously, I am extremely shocked and disappointed by the recent developments involving Jared. I am in the process of seeking a dissolution of the marriage,” [Katie] Fogle says in a statement. “My focus is exclusively on the well-being of my children. Neither I nor my family will have any further comment on the matter. I appreciate respect for my family’s privacy during this difficult time.”

In Katie Fogle’s defense, Jared was constantly traveling to Subway locations across the country and court documents show he was crossing state lines to solicit underage kids for sex, so obviously he wasn’t pulling a Sandusky and going, “Honey, I’ll be down in the basement!” Not to mention, she’s throwing his ass right under the bus instead of saying he’s been set up.

*coughcoughcamillecosbycoughcough*

Sorry, I got something stuck in my throat. I was trying to say Camille Cosby. She’s not acting like Camille Cosby.

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