January Jones Looks Like Hell

May 26th, 2011 // 45 Comments

Here’s January Jones doing her best Darryl Hannah on drugs impression at the premiere “cast screening” of X-Men: First Class last night, and I swear to God, I don’t even know why she was invited. It’s like she’s trying to torpedo the entire movie. If she’s not awkwardly showing up to promotional events with the bastard child of a married castmember she decided to keep in her stomach, she’s giving interviews that reassure people, yes, she’s just as bitchy as she looks. At this point, she might as well just sympathize with Hitler and go for the hat trick. “Don’t like my dress? Herr Fuhrer will have your Jew blood for breakfast! SIEG HEIL!” *raises right arm, goosesteps down carpet*

Photo: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. January Jones X-Men First Class
    Dog The Bounty Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    Really? This is the most attractive she’s ever looked. Also, cleanest.

  2. lol that image of her goosestepping reminds me of a really funny faulty towers episode.. “we did not start it”, “yes you did, you invaded poland!”

  3. nicole

    When did this place become TMZ?

  4. Why are her cleavage and arms censored?

  5. Deacon Jones

    Bladerunner anyone?

    • Rancid

      Blasphemy. Darryl Hanna was totally hawt in that movie. Even when they replaced her with a dude to do those crazy flips (look at it closely – it is indeed a man – they couldn’t find a woman strong enough to do the stunt).

  6. the captain

    yep: The HellRaiser Is In Town, folks!!

  7. Snooki's Taint

    “I don’t even know why she was invited.” Do the words ‘can suck a golfball through a garden hose’ mean anything to you?

  8. LJ

    I thought that Bobby Flay was the one responsible, not another cast member.

    Guess well have to wait to see if the kid pops out with a head full of red hair.

  9. JC

    Decker would have had a much easier time if all the skinjobs were this easy to spot.

  10. Alexko

    If Hell looks like January Jones, I want to be damned.

  11. Paul McCartney

    Agreed. Nothing wrong here.

  12. ?

    What’s with the bashing?I know it’s a bitchy site but you could at least have a reason to call someone all the insulting things you can think of….
    Bitch.

    • NTT

      Tell it to your mother

    • I don’t think she’s a bitch so much as a flash-frozen nonentity, which may be where all the insults stem from. It’s a good thing that her role on Mad Men calls for someone so emotionally constipated (“Nordic people don’t show their feelings).” , since as an actress in other productions almost all of her delivery was flatlined. (Personally, I did see a spark of something there in the scene where she breaks down and spends about a day in Don’s closet trying to find evidence of his cheating and finally confronts him in tears, but since I’ve never seen her perform so well anywhere else I suspect the director can take most of the credit for that.)

  13. I’m just happy she changed her sweater.

  14. I don’t think she looks bad at all actually. Her eyeshadow is a little much but she looks fine otherwise.

  15. Jacqueline Hyde

    You sure that’s not Kimberly Stewart?

  16. NTT

    Matthew Vaughn Cheated on Claudia Schiffer to impregnate this?
    Yay you!

  17. Sharkbait

    You misspelled “still looks hot despite…” in the title.

  18. January Jones X-Men First Class
    Alex
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks great. By whose standards does she look bad? Victoria’s Secret’s? What now are you trying to encourage pregnant women to starve themselves because they look fat?!

  19. Sugar

    She’s a horrible, loathesome woman. Thanks for revealing how ugly you are inside Jan!

  20. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Lookin pretty Kesha-y. (is “Kesha-y” a word?” well, it is now!)

    by the way, judging by her nose the babys a boy

  21. G

    Wow, Courtney Love never looked this great before!!

  22. eee

    macauley caulkin got knocked up?

  23. cc

    Well, at least she got a job promoting L’Oreal’s ‘Jaundice’ line.

  24. Rancid

    It’s very rare that I sling this word – but this broad is a total C U Next Tuesday. She’s going to disrespect Zack like she’s in fucking High School?

    I’ll put it this way – years from now, Zach will still be a funny guy. As far as this bitch, she’ll either be dead or blowing hobos for crack money.

  25. Do Not Censor Me

    Another self-entitled all-important you can kiss my ass bitch who needs a savage butt fucking BAD to wipe the haughtiness of her smug face

  26. D-chi

    If that’s hell, then I’d love to look like it.

  27. Deryn

    “I won’t be IGNORED, Matthew.”

  28. January Jones X-Men First Class
    amanda
    Commented on this photo:

    why was Liam Kyle Sullivan at the X-men premier?

  29. January Jones X-Men First Class
    amanda
    Commented on this photo:
  30. January Jones X-Men First Class
    Chris Hansen
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice Down Syndrome-esque face you insufferable bitch.

  31. Elf

    Hey, Deckard! We just found your missing replicant!

  32. Danny

    That’s Melanie Griffith Jr. right there

  33. BarbieSamBarrry

    shes that how hell looks like.. O.o

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