January Jones Is Single Again, I Can’t Imagine Why

“What is it.. what is it doing to my face?”
“It’s called a smile.”
“I DON’T LIKE IT!”

Two weeks to the day, Jon Hamm’s penis officially confirmed it’s single, and that, boys and girls, is how you successfully frontload a post with all the information anyone could possibly need. Us Weekly reports:

It’s over! January Jones and Will Forte have ended their relationship after just five months of dating, a source confirms exclusively to Us Weekly. The pair called it quits last month.
As previously reported, Jones and Forte met on set of their post-apocalyptic series The Last Man on Earth. They began dating in April.

As for what went wrong, besides a giant penis becoming ready for some vigorous icebox-ing, turns out January Jones hates commitment. Who knew?

As for why the actress isn’t on board with Forte, it may be due to the fact that she’s not looking for commitment. Jones has told pals that “relationships are a pain in the ass,” the insider says.

Of course, if January Jones is dating Jon Hamm, that disproves the theory that he needs a mom not a girlfriend because, goddammit, did he bark up the wrong tree. However, it does suggest that Jon Hamm wants kids, but isn’t very particular about them receiving a mother’s love, affection, or even a general acknowledgement of their existence. He mostly just wants them around. Like an ottoman, or a really nice end table that doesn’t spill drinks, Xander.

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Photos: Getty