So it turns out January Jones may have been shit-faced when she performed a hit-and-run last night. What follows is the most random tale ever featuring Bobby Flay and absolutely no paparazzis chasing the Walk of Shamer. TMZ reports:
We spoke with Flay, who tells us he was watching the basketball game last night at The London West Hollywood Hotel with a group of people that included Jones. Flay says he saw her drink a beer but wasn’t really watching her alcohol intake. Flay says he had only met Jones once before, and last night she asked for his number because she wanted to redo her kitchen and give his number to her designer. Flay obliged, and says he doesn’t know why Jones chose to call him after the crash, but nonetheless he drove over to help her. He says he did not argue but just wanted to make sure she was ok.
The witness at the scene tells TMZ she was face-to-face with Jones and smelled alcohol on her breath. The witness says Jones left her driver’s license with another resident and left. She returned 45 minutes later in a different set of clothes, chewing gum.
The witness says she asked cops if they were going to administer a field sobriety test, but a cop told her there was no point since she could have had a drink at home and there was no way of proving she was under the influence when she was behind the wheel. Cops confirm there is no way to pin drinking and driving on someone who leaves the scene and comes back.
None of the witnesses we spoke with saw any photogs at the scene.
I hope everyone in LA is writing down the part about fleeing the scene of a DUI accident because that has to be the most amazing legal loophole I’ve heard in my life.
COP: Excuse me, sir, is this your car parked through the window of Taco Bell.
DRUNK: Yes. But for the record, I only started drinking after the accident. That squirrel over there has a bar in his tree.
COP: You’re free to go.
HOLLYWOOD!
Photos: Pacific Coast News
Alright a play taken right out of Ted Kennedy’s book!
except january’s incident didn’t involve a bridge and a dead girl.
How do we know for sure? I don’t think the whole story is out yet.
This bitch gets away with THAT, and I get nailed for a DUI in a school zone a couple years back for admitting to the cop I had 3 Miller Lite’s and agreeing to a breathalyzer…
Goes to show you once again folks, don’t listen to the law. Doing so just makes the charges easier to press.
But, in Princeton PD’s defense, they did state in their report that I was “cooperative and respectful”, so that counts for something 8>
do you mean Ted’s dead girl in the lake or is this a reference to Bobby Kennedy shoving narcotic pills up Marilyn Monroes’ unconscious ass? The Kennedys killed so many people it’s had to keep track.
Yes, actually that excuse works. My roommate in college destroyed her car on the freeway, had a friend pick her up, came home and hung out, then went to the ER where she told the cop that she was drinking after the wreck. That BS actually works. With my luck, if I tried that, I’d be arrested in a second.
That shit works. Done it myself!
You just say the shock of the accident led you to drink, and it’s all good.
2 sets of laws. Poor and Rich. Get over it. This cunt is a sacred entertainer! Amen.
I think January owes someone a blow job. Well, be “someone” I guess I mean “me”. Think Flay will invite her to be a guest judge on “The Next Food Network Star”? He’s got to be thrilled to have been dragged into this.
No this actually does work. Same thing as Dianne, a friend in college crashed into a construction trailer left his car there and walked home. Next day cops came and got him and he only got a reckless driving charge.
Boning, drinking and driving, this lady is living my life….if anyone would let me bone them…or if I had a car….or if i didn’t pass out at the bar after my first virgin aplletini
You’re not alone Alex.
You’ll never walk alone. Jerry Lewis is so uplifting.
Bobby Flay was clearly the one banging her the night before.
I heard he slapped his meat on her grill.
The big story here is that Ashton Kutcher’s penis is the driving force behind Final Destination. There’s no escaping it. After touching it, you will die.
She was not drunk, her hands locked up and she couldn’t control the car…I think she is in therapy for it
Best ever.
Either the ground is swallowing her feet or she has a lot of heavy booze in her stomach weighing her down and implanting her in the ground.
zomg where are her feet
Thank god, I thought I was the only person to notice
While she can’t be charged with a DUI, she CAN be charged with leaving the scene of an accident and/or crime. While I’d take that over a DUI, she’s not home-free yet.
Except that’s she’s a celebrity and it happened in L.A. so yeah, she pretty much is home free.
How long until the story breaks of January and Bobby’s affair? Mark me down for 3 days.
i would love to run into january jones drunk……..
You do mean with your car, right?
What?
Who has been never drunk cast the first stone!
In the fine Commonwealth of Virginia, if you are over the limit when the cops check you, you are guilty of DUI. You can be in an accident stone cold sober and then have a few drinks and you are considered to have been drunk when the accident happened. I witnessed a wreck where the driver at fault dragged a cooler out of his truck and started pound down the Buds. I told him that if he thought he was borderline, he had better stop drinking because they had just enacted this law a few months earlier. He kept sucking them down and the cops just sat there and waited until his BAC peaked and nailed his ass.
Like i said once,women are getting wet panties from drinking wine …
Is that a Van Halen song?
I’d suspect men from inventing wine,all the way back in the prehistoric, just for the sole reason to get them more easy laid .. At least that’s what they first learned.
Must have been horrible tasting these Neantherthal brews.
Jesus carried his wine in skins.
Is she sinking into the ground or is she on a sidewalk? something weird about that photo. Word to the wise January, never try to match an Irishman when in comes to drinking booze.
Was the photographer drunk as well?!
She looks like a dipshit…
And what kind of name is January?? seriously.
What the fuck are you talking about?
It’s probably a stage name fucktard…
Sorry, scratch that, it might be her real name. In which case that is a damn catchy real name, and I’m pretty pathetic for looking up whether or not that is her real name. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go kill myself…
I think I saw Letterman or something with her where she said her mom was really into romance novels and it was a name she liked in one of them.
Is she trying here on this pic to get her wet panties dried?
This happened to a “friend” of mine and I er she sideswiped a car and they knocked on her door at 5 am and gave her a blood test. DUI city baby!
That is awful! Give my condolences to your friend.
Um… where are her feet in this picture??
Who is this January Jones that you speak of?
psssssst, THAT’S WHY SHE WAS DRESSED IN A TOWEL, folks!!
Two words: Chris. Crocker.
A person under the influence doesn’t have the power over it. It doesn’t matter either its an alcohol or drugs.
where are her feet?
That’s a typical rolling lawn in the Studio City/Sherman Oaks area. They build bumps into the lawn so the gardeners won’t play soccer on their lunch breaks.
I pronounce this young lady an ugly tramp. And I had Flay pegged for a good Irish boy. I guess he is, but more like a Baldwin.
Seriously NO FEET? No feet at all? Photoshop FAIL. OR is it quick grass WIN…Like quick sand but greener. Duh…
Is “redo your kitchen” the new slang for “get you pregnant”? Because if it is I know a lot of girls who kitchen I want to redo.