January Jones was Drunk

June 11th, 2010 // 52 Comments

So it turns out January Jones may have been shit-faced when she performed a hit-and-run last night. What follows is the most random tale ever featuring Bobby Flay and absolutely no paparazzis chasing the Walk of Shamer. TMZ reports:

We spoke with Flay, who tells us he was watching the basketball game last night at The London West Hollywood Hotel with a group of people that included Jones. Flay says he saw her drink a beer but wasn’t really watching her alcohol intake. Flay says he had only met Jones once before, and last night she asked for his number because she wanted to redo her kitchen and give his number to her designer. Flay obliged, and says he doesn’t know why Jones chose to call him after the crash, but nonetheless he drove over to help her. He says he did not argue but just wanted to make sure she was ok.
The witness at the scene tells TMZ she was face-to-face with Jones and smelled alcohol on her breath. The witness says Jones left her driver’s license with another resident and left. She returned 45 minutes later in a different set of clothes, chewing gum.
The witness says she asked cops if they were going to administer a field sobriety test, but a cop told her there was no point since she could have had a drink at home and there was no way of proving she was under the influence when she was behind the wheel. Cops confirm there is no way to pin drinking and driving on someone who leaves the scene and comes back.
None of the witnesses we spoke with saw any photogs at the scene.

I hope everyone in LA is writing down the part about fleeing the scene of a DUI accident because that has to be the most amazing legal loophole I’ve heard in my life.

COP: Excuse me, sir, is this your car parked through the window of Taco Bell.
DRUNK: Yes. But for the record, I only started drinking after the accident. That squirrel over there has a bar in his tree.
COP: You’re free to go.


Photos: Pacific Coast News


  1. Danny Boy

    Alright a play taken right out of Ted Kennedy’s book!

  2. Danny Boy

    except january’s incident didn’t involve a bridge and a dead girl.

    • Willameanie

      How do we know for sure? I don’t think the whole story is out yet.

      • Deacon Jones

        This bitch gets away with THAT, and I get nailed for a DUI in a school zone a couple years back for admitting to the cop I had 3 Miller Lite’s and agreeing to a breathalyzer…

        Goes to show you once again folks, don’t listen to the law. Doing so just makes the charges easier to press.

        But, in Princeton PD’s defense, they did state in their report that I was “cooperative and respectful”, so that counts for something 8>

    • HighHouse

      do you mean Ted’s dead girl in the lake or is this a reference to Bobby Kennedy shoving narcotic pills up Marilyn Monroes’ unconscious ass? The Kennedys killed so many people it’s had to keep track.

  3. Dianne

    Yes, actually that excuse works. My roommate in college destroyed her car on the freeway, had a friend pick her up, came home and hung out, then went to the ER where she told the cop that she was drinking after the wreck. That BS actually works. With my luck, if I tried that, I’d be arrested in a second.

  4. 2

    2 sets of laws. Poor and Rich. Get over it. This cunt is a sacred entertainer! Amen.

  5. Crabby Old Guy

    I think January owes someone a blow job. Well, be “someone” I guess I mean “me”. Think Flay will invite her to be a guest judge on “The Next Food Network Star”? He’s got to be thrilled to have been dragged into this.

  6. Jerkstore

    No this actually does work. Same thing as Dianne, a friend in college crashed into a construction trailer left his car there and walked home. Next day cops came and got him and he only got a reckless driving charge.

  7. Alex

    Boning, drinking and driving, this lady is living my life….if anyone would let me bone them…or if I had a car….or if i didn’t pass out at the bar after my first virgin aplletini

  8. seearees

    Bobby Flay was clearly the one banging her the night before.

  9. yeahright

    The big story here is that Ashton Kutcher’s penis is the driving force behind Final Destination. There’s no escaping it. After touching it, you will die.

  10. testington

    She was not drunk, her hands locked up and she couldn’t control the car…I think she is in therapy for it

  11. Brett
    Commented on this photo:

    Either the ground is swallowing her feet or she has a lot of heavy booze in her stomach weighing her down and implanting her in the ground.

  12. testertest

    zomg where are her feet

  13. tarotlee

    While she can’t be charged with a DUI, she CAN be charged with leaving the scene of an accident and/or crime. While I’d take that over a DUI, she’s not home-free yet.

  14. Elaine

    How long until the story breaks of January and Bobby’s affair? Mark me down for 3 days.

  15. mfb

    i would love to run into january jones drunk……..

  16. Gando

    Who has been never drunk cast the first stone!

  17. tromba

    In the fine Commonwealth of Virginia, if you are over the limit when the cops check you, you are guilty of DUI. You can be in an accident stone cold sober and then have a few drinks and you are considered to have been drunk when the accident happened. I witnessed a wreck where the driver at fault dragged a cooler out of his truck and started pound down the Buds. I told him that if he thought he was borderline, he had better stop drinking because they had just enacted this law a few months earlier. He kept sucking them down and the cops just sat there and waited until his BAC peaked and nailed his ass.

  18. Rhialto

    Like i said once,women are getting wet panties from drinking wine …

  19. threeringcircus

    Is she sinking into the ground or is she on a sidewalk? something weird about that photo. Word to the wise January, never try to match an Irishman when in comes to drinking booze.

  20. Nero

    Was the photographer drunk as well?!

  21. bar room hero

    She looks like a dipshit…

    And what kind of name is January?? seriously.

  22. cellphone

    Is she trying here on this pic to get her wet panties dried?

  23. Willameanie

    This happened to a “friend” of mine and I er she sideswiped a car and they knocked on her door at 5 am and gave her a blood test. DUI city baby!

  24. nicole

    Um… where are her feet in this picture??

  25. Rachel

    Who is this January Jones that you speak of?

  26. captain america

    psssssst, THAT’S WHY SHE WAS DRESSED IN A TOWEL, folks!!

  27. jenna

    Two words: Chris. Crocker.

  28. A person under the influence doesn’t have the power over it. It doesn’t matter either its an alcohol or drugs.

  29. quinn

    where are her feet?

  30. August Teen

    That’s a typical rolling lawn in the Studio City/Sherman Oaks area. They build bumps into the lawn so the gardeners won’t play soccer on their lunch breaks.

    I pronounce this young lady an ugly tramp. And I had Flay pegged for a good Irish boy. I guess he is, but more like a Baldwin.

  31. Duh
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously NO FEET? No feet at all? Photoshop FAIL. OR is it quick grass WIN…Like quick sand but greener. Duh…

  32. Is “redo your kitchen” the new slang for “get you pregnant”? Because if it is I know a lot of girls who kitchen I want to redo.

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