An X-Men Knocked Up January Jones

Seen here leaving the house without a scarlet “A” on her chest yesterday – BLASPHEMER! – the Who Ejaculated Into January Jones’ Ovulating Uterus Without Protection? Mystery just took another step toward Not Jason Sudeikis, according to E! News:

Although most recently linked to SNL actor Jason Sudeikis, January and Jason split in January (appropriately enough), and a most knowledgeable source tells us the funnyman is not the father of January’s soon-to-be born kid:
Dun, dun, dun!
According to very well placed movie insiders, closely connected to Jones (who’s been shooting X-Men: First Class), January was involved with someone on set—and that someone is the father of her child.

Hmm… who in the cast of X-Men: First Class would want to impregnate January Jones? Well, that’s pretty obvious: Jennifer Lawrence. A. She’s a woman. Women love babies. B. When I close my eyes and imagine the act of conception, things go kind of fuzzy, and then I wake up alone and pantsless next to a stack of comic books that are no longer in Mint to Near Mint condition. Now, some might say that’s not as conclusive as a DNA test, to which I say, isn’t it? Isn’t it? Which, admittedly, only works if I’m holding a pipe.

Photo: Splash News