An X-Men Knocked Up January Jones

May 10th, 2011 // 25 Comments

Seen here leaving the house without a scarlet “A” on her chest yesterday – BLASPHEMER! – the Who Ejaculated Into January Jones‘ Ovulating Uterus Without Protection? Mystery just took another step toward Not Jason Sudeikis, according to E! News:

Although most recently linked to SNL actor Jason Sudeikis, January and Jason split in January (appropriately enough), and a most knowledgeable source tells us the funnyman is not the father of January’s soon-to-be born kid:
Dun, dun, dun!
According to very well placed movie insiders, closely connected to Jones (who’s been shooting X-Men: First Class), January was involved with someone on set—and that someone is the father of her child.

Hmm… who in the cast of X-Men: First Class would want to impregnate January Jones? Well, that’s pretty obvious: Jennifer Lawrence. A. She’s a woman. Women love babies. B. When I close my eyes and imagine the act of conception, things go kind of fuzzy, and then I wake up alone and pantsless next to a stack of comic books that are no longer in Mint to Near Mint condition. Now, some might say that’s not as conclusive as a DNA test, to which I say, isn’t it? Isn’t it? Which, admittedly, only works if I’m holding a pipe.

Photo: Splash News


  1. RandaI

    Not sure why this chick gets press. She doesn’t hit my radar.

  2. youcandieNOW

    I first I thought this said she was knocked up by one of those guys from that Ax Men show and I was hoping it was Shelby from the swamps in Louisiana. What a let down.

  3. T1

    think she scowls during sex?

  4. krista

    i agree, who the eff is she. does anyone really care if she is sperminated?

  5. January Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Cyclops: “I think I like what comes after Christmas.”
    January Jones: “Are you even in yet?”
    Cyclops: “Look, eye lasers!”
    January Jones: “Yeah, yeah. I know. That’s how I…wait a minute. Are you wearing a condom?”
    Cyclops: “Cyclops never cloaks his X-man!”
    January Jones: *sigh* “Nightcrawler was much less of an ass.”

  6. zomgbie


  7. cc

    What? This things doesn’t have a ‘Whose my baby daddy app?’

  8. It had to be said

    Hot damn, some poor S.O.B. is going to be stuck with this drunken shrew as their babymomma FOREVER. Sometimes it pays to just masturbate instead.

  9. Jon Hex

    I bet Havok knocked up Emma. He’s always following Cyclops.

  10. I would have thought she’d need C-Men if she actually wanted to get pregnant.

  11. That Guy

    Didn’t she hook up with Bobby Flay and who is she?

  12. TomFrank

    Why assume it was one of the actors? Isn’t it all the rage now for hot actresses to bang the set assistants, like Christina Aguilera during the making of Burlesque?

  13. TomFrank

    And to everyone asking “Who is she?”…Jesus Christ, would you watch Mad Men already?

  14. Reece

    Oh Magneto, you’ve done some evil sh*t in your life but why this? Why Magneto? WHY?

    btw, This chick gets around doesn’t she?

  15. By the looks of this photo she was knocked up by a Gap ad.

  16. stroker joker

    As icy as this bitch is, it wouldn’t surprise me if the sperm from her senior prom night finally dethawed and finished the job.

  17. cc

    I have to admit, I’d have definitely enjoyed the intercourse part.

  18. Nate

    Cool name. Who is she?

  19. Enough with the speculation. I knocked her up.

  20. Rancid

    It’s not my baby this time, but the next one will be. Yes. It will be.

  21. Dex Dexter

    If it was someone from X Men, it was Matthew Vaughn (the director). He also knocked up Claudia Schiffer, JJ is kind of a younger edition.

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