January Jones’ Parents Don’t Know The Kid’s A Bastard, Do They? Awkward

November 30th, 2011 // 15 Comments
Won't Carry Her Baby
January Jones
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I meant to post these earlier in the week, but I’ve still been in a state of shock after learning January Jones has actual parents and wasn’t chiseled from a glacier. Anyway, here are the Joneses spending time with their new little grandson Xander Dane over the holiday weekend where they had the incredible pleasure of pretending keeping a baby out of spite is adorable. “Now, dear, your mother and I might not be happy about the way you went about this, but the important thing is that – Wait, you’re not carrying the kid around in public, are you? Okay, good. – the important thing is that we love you even though this was really the most trampy thing you could’ve possibly done. I mean, keeping a married man’s baby? Jesus, we’d almost prefer you told us you’re a lesbian. Almost.”

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Flynet


  1. I think “bastard” was one of those words that was eliminated by the thought police when every other kid was born out of wedlock. I think the proper term is now fuck child.

  2. wb

    why is this check even famous?

  3. LesC

    Look, even her rent-a-parents are scared to get too close.

  4. Venom

    This woman just seems like pure evil.

  5. January Jones Parents Son Xander
    Commented on this photo:

    Rich people strollers look dumb. DUMB I tell you!

  6. Archies_Leach

    How was Don Draper able to pry Betty’s legs apart to get kids outta her?

  7. I Complain A Lot

    I’d hit it… Twice!

  8. Mama Pinkus

    I thought younger folk would be immune to using outdated, useless shit words like “bastard” – there are no illegitimate children – they’re HERE, they’re LEGIT

  9. *Yawn*

    I heard a soon-to-be-divorced horndawg was the kid’s dad?

  10. a

    You’re really proud of being a misogynist, aren’t you?

    • Ms. Whiplash

      I used to think that too, but now I think he’s not actually a man who hates women, he’s just a little bit of a chauvinist pig. Have you ever heard him on the topic of Chris Brown or any other guy who beats up women? He’s brutal and zero-tolerance. It’s actually pretty heartwarming (and dead sexy!).

  11. Stuey

    Why is her keeping the kid such a sin? Yeah ok shes a whore but they never make fun of her for that. They always act like she did the worst thing by not having an abortion and not telling who the dad is. I mean damn…they fucked up she kept it and is keeping quiet. Isn’t that the right thing to do?

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